May 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
For the Record
Amelia babbled to herself from about 3 am to 3:40, when the babbles turned to cries. I held out for another 10 minutes or so, then fed her. She woke for the day at 5:45.
Am I breaking down? It's hard to say. We had a plan for how long to let her cry (30 minutes) but not how long to let her babble, then cry. Who knows. If I'm only getting up once a night, I am okay with it for now.
Am I breaking down? It's hard to say. We had a plan for how long to let her cry (30 minutes) but not how long to let her babble, then cry. Who knows. If I'm only getting up once a night, I am okay with it for now.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Babies
The E Street Cinema in DC just started a weekly "Rattles and Reels" showing. At 11:00 on Wednesdays caregivers can bring their babies to see a movie in a child-friendly atmosphere. Yesterday they were showing Babies. It was wild.
I have never sees so many babies in one place in my life. I am talking about the real babies there to see the movie, not the film. Amelia and I got there kind of early and sat beside a small group of moms and babies on our blanket on the floor between two sets of seats. When we got there, there were maybe 10 or so moms and babies. This was about 10:45. Then more people came in a steady stream. Then more people. More people, clustering around the door. More and more and more.
It got to be a little chaotic. Many of the early birds, like me and Amelia, were sitting on the floor, but we were kind of in the way of people looking for seats. The people who were sitting in actual seats tended to choose first the seats at the end of the aisles (for reasons that, if you are a parent of young children, are obvious to you). So then you had people with babies climbing over other people with babies. And not to mention the baby transporting devices. Baby carriers everywhere, and the strollers! Amelia and I left the movie a little early, and there were strollers parked along the walls outside of the theater, double or triple parked, for a stretch of at least 50 feet.
Crying. There was a lot of crying. And shushing, coughing, sniffing, sucking, giggling, cooing, shrieking, babbling. But there was pretty much not a second of the movie in which there was no crying.
It was great, though. I did get a little stressed when so many people kept filing in. As a city movie theater, the E St showing rooms are not that big, and it started to feel a little overcrowded. But in the end everyone got pretty much settled and it was a good time. In my opinion, the movie itself was neither great not horrible. I was kind of distracted throughout (feeding Amelia, helping her practice crawling, doling out toys and banana puff halfs) so I couldn't do the cultural studies critique that I normally love to do while watching documentaries or reality TV of any kind. Plus I had read a review in the New Yorker that kind of ruined the movie for me. Mostly it was just fun to watch. The film really just focused on the babies. There was very little talking or focusing on the adults. There was hardly any attention given to pregnancy or childbirth, which I especially liked. Just babies: babies sleeping, staring, sitting, playing, crawling, jumping, learning, being. The whole experience led me to realize something about myself: I really like babies.
I really do. I like their little faces, the strangely wise eyes of newborns and the chubby little cheeks of older babies. I like how they are always striving to do something new, and how they are so attentive, and how they express whatever they are feeling at any given moment with no reservations whatsoever. I like their little hands and their soft, soft skin. I like talking to them. I often find them much easier to talk to than their parents. I just really like babies.
It's kind of a strange thing for a mother of a baby to realize. Obviously most parents love their own babies, and obviously I think Amelia takes the cake in any baby cakewalk, but it was funny to actively notice how much I enjoy the company of other babies.
It makes me pause again in thankfulness of Amelia. It suddenly seems like she is changing and growing so fast. You can't pick up the same baby twice. I would freeze time right now if I could...
I have never sees so many babies in one place in my life. I am talking about the real babies there to see the movie, not the film. Amelia and I got there kind of early and sat beside a small group of moms and babies on our blanket on the floor between two sets of seats. When we got there, there were maybe 10 or so moms and babies. This was about 10:45. Then more people came in a steady stream. Then more people. More people, clustering around the door. More and more and more.
It got to be a little chaotic. Many of the early birds, like me and Amelia, were sitting on the floor, but we were kind of in the way of people looking for seats. The people who were sitting in actual seats tended to choose first the seats at the end of the aisles (for reasons that, if you are a parent of young children, are obvious to you). So then you had people with babies climbing over other people with babies. And not to mention the baby transporting devices. Baby carriers everywhere, and the strollers! Amelia and I left the movie a little early, and there were strollers parked along the walls outside of the theater, double or triple parked, for a stretch of at least 50 feet.
Crying. There was a lot of crying. And shushing, coughing, sniffing, sucking, giggling, cooing, shrieking, babbling. But there was pretty much not a second of the movie in which there was no crying.
It was great, though. I did get a little stressed when so many people kept filing in. As a city movie theater, the E St showing rooms are not that big, and it started to feel a little overcrowded. But in the end everyone got pretty much settled and it was a good time. In my opinion, the movie itself was neither great not horrible. I was kind of distracted throughout (feeding Amelia, helping her practice crawling, doling out toys and banana puff halfs) so I couldn't do the cultural studies critique that I normally love to do while watching documentaries or reality TV of any kind. Plus I had read a review in the New Yorker that kind of ruined the movie for me. Mostly it was just fun to watch. The film really just focused on the babies. There was very little talking or focusing on the adults. There was hardly any attention given to pregnancy or childbirth, which I especially liked. Just babies: babies sleeping, staring, sitting, playing, crawling, jumping, learning, being. The whole experience led me to realize something about myself: I really like babies.
I really do. I like their little faces, the strangely wise eyes of newborns and the chubby little cheeks of older babies. I like how they are always striving to do something new, and how they are so attentive, and how they express whatever they are feeling at any given moment with no reservations whatsoever. I like their little hands and their soft, soft skin. I like talking to them. I often find them much easier to talk to than their parents. I just really like babies.
It's kind of a strange thing for a mother of a baby to realize. Obviously most parents love their own babies, and obviously I think Amelia takes the cake in any baby cakewalk, but it was funny to actively notice how much I enjoy the company of other babies.
It makes me pause again in thankfulness of Amelia. It suddenly seems like she is changing and growing so fast. You can't pick up the same baby twice. I would freeze time right now if I could...
For the record: night 7 (or is it 8 now?) did not a pattern make. Amelia woke up at 2:25am, and after letting her cry for 15 minutes I decided to go try to pick her up and comfort her without nursing her. As soon as I picked her up she began to wriggle herself into the breastfeeding position. So I put her into the crib and she SCREAMED. After quickly checking with Dean I went ahead and nursed. She went back to sleep quickly and woke again at 4:48, and seemed to almost wake herself up for the day, but I managed to put her back down. Sadly, she was up again at 5:53. Dean got up with her and I slept for another hour or so, but I still feel groggy and kind of headachy. My voice was all hoarse this morning, and Amelia's nose is runny again, so maybe this cold is just hanging on. Anyway she is down for a nap and I have exhausted my poem energy for the day.
I guess tomorrow night we will have a more specific plan again. After only 2 nights of sleep we were both unprepared for the night crying. I think I might try for a 30 minute limit tonight.
In the meantime since I have been trying this sleep/crying experiment I have written to the MOTHs and gotten about 50 emails from parents about their experience with crying it out. (MOTH="Moms on the Hill;" it's a Yahoo group of like 4000 parents who live in Capitol Hill. You can post questions, give away or search for baby items, and do all kinds of other things. We found our real estate agent--in Denver--through MOTH.) I want to compile all of their advice, as well as the advice I have gotten from my friends (thanks everyone!), into a crying it out tip sheet, and hope to do that soon.
I guess tomorrow night we will have a more specific plan again. After only 2 nights of sleep we were both unprepared for the night crying. I think I might try for a 30 minute limit tonight.
In the meantime since I have been trying this sleep/crying experiment I have written to the MOTHs and gotten about 50 emails from parents about their experience with crying it out. (MOTH="Moms on the Hill;" it's a Yahoo group of like 4000 parents who live in Capitol Hill. You can post questions, give away or search for baby items, and do all kinds of other things. We found our real estate agent--in Denver--through MOTH.) I want to compile all of their advice, as well as the advice I have gotten from my friends (thanks everyone!), into a crying it out tip sheet, and hope to do that soon.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
One time is random, twice could be an accident...
three times makes a pattern.
That's what my teacher Stan Plumly says, and although he is talking about patterns and form in poetry, I think it could also apply to sleeping through the night.
For the SECOND night IN A ROW Amelia has slept from 7-4:30, at which point I fed her, and she went back to sleep. I suppose I could try to avoid the 4:30 feeding but sleeping through till 4:30 seems super luxurious to me right now, and I don't mind feeding her then, because by then she has gone over 10 hours without eating. As you can see from the time of this post, I could not go back to sleep after she ate; I was lying there writing in my head and listening to another early bird, a real one, chirping outside. Rather than toss and turn and keep Dean awake, I got up to spend some QT with Suki, who is curled up beside me, and sip coffee in the pre-dawn twilight. (That seems oxymoronic, but I can't think of the word for the light before sunrise. ?)
My life is already remarkably better than it was one week ago. Although there are still signs of sleep deprived adults in the house (the container of grated cheese I found stashed in the Tupperware drawer (yuck), the running faucet I came downstairs to this morning (of HOT water--YIKES)), I feel much better, and since when have I been able to get up and write? So, I am hoping twice turns into the 3 times tomorrow, and 3 times melts into many.
Now--of course--as I write this, Amelia has begun to coo and call from her crib. I am going to give her a few minutes and see if she goes back to sleep. We put her down 15 minutes later than usual last night so it'll be interesting if she wakes up this early (the books say, although it's counterintuitive, that if a baby goes to bed too late she will wake up too early: "Sleep begets sleep").
As I wait her out, I'll note that I spent Amelia's entire nap writing poetry yesterday. A poem I started when I was pregnant with her has suddenly found its form and its pathway. I am finally not-pregnant enough to write about pregnancy with some reflection, and the form was inspired by my fling with the project that was triggered by Caroline's forty forts (thank you again, Caroline, a zillion times over. And to everyone else, if you haven't been reading about her forts, you should!)
-------------------
So now Amelia is awake and I am trying to finish this post while she sits on the floor and takes toys out of a bin. She is in an excellent stage in which she can sit up really well, without you having to be there to catch her from tipping sideways or forward, but she can't crawl away. If we put her down on a soft blanket surrounded with pillows (just in case she does tip over), with a bin of toys in front of her, she will sit there for like 20 minutes taking toys out of the bin, chatting with the toys. Right now she is alternately waving her toucan back and forth saying "gaagheebababa" and enthusiastically biting the toucan's beak. We have been able to get a lot of packing done this way. It is a stage in which I could easily pause for a while. Although we are trying to give her lots of tunny time so she can learn to crawl (she is now able to push up on hands and knees and rock back and forth), I kind of dread the crawling, because it will shatter this calm and peaceful world of sitting still.
Here she is:
Now I will join little A on the floor.
That's what my teacher Stan Plumly says, and although he is talking about patterns and form in poetry, I think it could also apply to sleeping through the night.
For the SECOND night IN A ROW Amelia has slept from 7-4:30, at which point I fed her, and she went back to sleep. I suppose I could try to avoid the 4:30 feeding but sleeping through till 4:30 seems super luxurious to me right now, and I don't mind feeding her then, because by then she has gone over 10 hours without eating. As you can see from the time of this post, I could not go back to sleep after she ate; I was lying there writing in my head and listening to another early bird, a real one, chirping outside. Rather than toss and turn and keep Dean awake, I got up to spend some QT with Suki, who is curled up beside me, and sip coffee in the pre-dawn twilight. (That seems oxymoronic, but I can't think of the word for the light before sunrise. ?)
My life is already remarkably better than it was one week ago. Although there are still signs of sleep deprived adults in the house (the container of grated cheese I found stashed in the Tupperware drawer (yuck), the running faucet I came downstairs to this morning (of HOT water--YIKES)), I feel much better, and since when have I been able to get up and write? So, I am hoping twice turns into the 3 times tomorrow, and 3 times melts into many.
Now--of course--as I write this, Amelia has begun to coo and call from her crib. I am going to give her a few minutes and see if she goes back to sleep. We put her down 15 minutes later than usual last night so it'll be interesting if she wakes up this early (the books say, although it's counterintuitive, that if a baby goes to bed too late she will wake up too early: "Sleep begets sleep").
As I wait her out, I'll note that I spent Amelia's entire nap writing poetry yesterday. A poem I started when I was pregnant with her has suddenly found its form and its pathway. I am finally not-pregnant enough to write about pregnancy with some reflection, and the form was inspired by my fling with the project that was triggered by Caroline's forty forts (thank you again, Caroline, a zillion times over. And to everyone else, if you haven't been reading about her forts, you should!)
-------------------
So now Amelia is awake and I am trying to finish this post while she sits on the floor and takes toys out of a bin. She is in an excellent stage in which she can sit up really well, without you having to be there to catch her from tipping sideways or forward, but she can't crawl away. If we put her down on a soft blanket surrounded with pillows (just in case she does tip over), with a bin of toys in front of her, she will sit there for like 20 minutes taking toys out of the bin, chatting with the toys. Right now she is alternately waving her toucan back and forth saying "gaagheebababa" and enthusiastically biting the toucan's beak. We have been able to get a lot of packing done this way. It is a stage in which I could easily pause for a while. Although we are trying to give her lots of tunny time so she can learn to crawl (she is now able to push up on hands and knees and rock back and forth), I kind of dread the crawling, because it will shatter this calm and peaceful world of sitting still.
Here she is:
Now I will join little A on the floor.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Applesauce Face
This is truly the Golden Age of Amelia. She is portable, agreeable, adorable, and so much fun. Here she is eating applesauce off of a tray like a dog.
For the Record
Night 6 of CIO: Amelia in bed at 7:00; not a sound from her till 4:30, at which point I nursed her, and she slept again till 6:15 or so.
I actually slept pretty well too (!), although Dean did not. He apparently wrote a petition for rehearing in his head, though, so I tried to convince him to take a day off soon, since he worked from home last night. Maybe tomorrow, when we SIGN THE PAPERS TO CLOSE ON OUR HOUSE. THAT WE WILL OWN.
I want a record because I know this will all turn to a blur soon.
I actually slept pretty well too (!), although Dean did not. He apparently wrote a petition for rehearing in his head, though, so I tried to convince him to take a day off soon, since he worked from home last night. Maybe tomorrow, when we SIGN THE PAPERS TO CLOSE ON OUR HOUSE. THAT WE WILL OWN.
I want a record because I know this will all turn to a blur soon.
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