Excuses, Excuses

I was going over my students' absences today, realizing how very many strange reasons they've given me for missing class throughout the semester. I don't know what it is about this batch of students, but as a group, they've dealt with some vivid and unique circumstances this spring. Here are some examples of ways they've finished the sentence

"I missed class today because..."

1. I have a hot tub business, and I had to meet with some potential buyers.

2. My inner ear burst last night.

3. I got kidney stones from eating too much Domino's Pizza.

4. My girlfriend and I were in a car accident on the Jersey Turnpike, and now she is in the hospital with brain damage, and she thinks it is last year.

5. It was raining, and my umbrella turned inside out, and I was too wet to come to class.

6. I was detained in New Orleans on a matter related to my hot tub business.

7. After staying up all night to write the paper, I was sleepy so I rested on the bench downstairs, and I fell asleep and slept through class.

8. My roommate accidentally ate peanuts, and he has a peanut allergy, so I took him to the emergency room.

9. My kidney stones are back.

10. I also own a small appliance business, and I needed to attend to a service issue.