Thursday, September 23, 2010

Are You Sleeping? Continued...

Yes we are! We've been night weaning, and here's how things have been going:

CIO Night 2: Silence till 2:20. Yelling--not crying, just angry "Ba-ba-ba"'s for about an hour. Real crying for about 10 minutes. Dean went in to check. Initially, more angry crying, maybe 5 minutes worth, then silence. Slept till 6:15 or so with no night nursing.

CIO Night 3: Loud and sudden yell at 3:45. Silence. Babbling increasing to crying-ish sounds at 4:00. Waited a couple of minutes, nursed. Silence for 15 minutes, then quiet talking. Slept till 6:30 or later.

CIO Night 4: Less than one minute of crying at about 2:00. Crying at 4:30. Nursed, slept till 6:30.

CIO Night 5: No crying till 5:45. Nursed, slept till 7:00.

CIO Night 6: No crying till around 4:00. Nursed, slept till 6:45.

I forget what night we are on now, but the last couple of nights have looked a lot like night 6.

Yea!

I couple of things have really helped this time around. The main one is my true and firm commitment to not nursing Amelia between bedtime and 4am. Before I might have given in at 3:00 or 3:30 or 3:45, and the thought did cross my mind those first nights, but I stuck to my rule. It has really helped because nursing at 3:30 one night can lead to 3:00 the next, then 2:30, and suddenly it's 11:30 and you find yourself wrenched from your deep sleep and walking to the crib. I actually see now that we probably could have just gone with no night nursing at all--no milk till the morning--but the 4am limit helped me hang in there those first nights because I knew that at least we would get a few more hours of sleep in the early morning. I think I will go for total night weaning in a month or two, after we are (HOPEFULLY) more used to this new pattern, and I am able to bear the thought of losing those early morning hours of sleep for a few nights.

NOW... we are in the battle of the naps. I think Amelia might be switching from two naps to one. Notice how she did this just as I had gotten totally settled into the pattern of two naps. My days have gone nothing like that schedule I posted since the day I posted it. It has helped with the allotment of chores throughout the week, but that's it. She has been heartily resiting each and every nap. I am a bit at a loss about what to do. I think I am going to try moving her morning nap back later and later till I find a time at which she will go to sleep with less than 15 minutes of fussing and sleep for more than an hour. Preferably more than 2 hours if it's going to be her only nap. That's the ideal, anyway; we'll see what actually happens.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Camping With A, Part 3: Mount Elbert

I am still trying to catch up on documenting all of our summer fun.

After our first night of camping with Amelia, we headed for Mount Elbert, Colorado's tallest mountain.

This is a picture of Mt. Elbert from the car window.



I took it the afternoon after the Windsor Lake hike. I was more than a little intimidated.

But Dean assured me that even though Mount Elbert is obviously very tall, it is a relatively "easy" hike because it is also a fairly long, so you gain the elevation over a long distance. We weren't sure we could make it, but we decided to give it a try.

It started off well, flattish and woodsy. We did have to stop after about 20 minute to give Amelia some milk, but then she fell asleep. So we kept going up, up and away as she snoozed. Her sleep is a real motivating factor to keep going. We kept passing a man and his son and their dog, then they would pass us. As the trail got steeper and steeper, the man got more and more tired. His son kept leaving him behind and they would communicate on walkie-talkies. (Well, probably not walkie-talkies really--the 21st century version.) It made me feel better that someone else was having a hard time on the hike, although actually I felt pretty good, much better than the previous day.

After we passed the tree line, the trail got even steeper. You could see a summit in the distance. Dean said it was a false summit. I thought he was kidding. He wasn't.

Here are some shots from after we passed the tree line.





Finally, I got very so tired and hungry that we had to stop, even though Amelia was still asleep. She woke up and we had a little picnic.



Then we packed up and started off again, but we didn't get much farther. Amelia was complaining about being in her backpack and needed a longer break. And I was tired myself. We were still pretty far from even the false summit, so Amelia and I decided to play in the grass while Dean kept going for a little while.

He kept going for about 20 minutes, then passed some descending hikers who told him he was still pretty far from the top. Since the weather was looking a little questionable, with dark clouds in the distance, he decided to turn around.

Here are some pictures from he took while we waited.







Amelia had a fun time standing and playing with rocks and flowers.



In the meantime, the man and his son had passed by me and Amelia. The man, panting, sort of flung himself in the grass beside the trail, and the son kept going.

When Dean returned we went down, down, down. Amelia slept again for most of the descent, but woke up and got fussy toward the end. We were probably pushing the limit of how long we could realistically hike with a baby. We entertained her with songs, but we were all glad to get back to the car.

It was an ambitious hike, and we didn't make it to the summit. But I am gad we tried. We will not have another chance until Amelia is old enough to hike it herself, unless Dean and I go alone, because A will probably be too heavy to carry that far next year.

It was very beautiful. I do think I could have done made it to the top, too, which made me feel good.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Housewife

Lest you were been misled by an earlier post in which I was somewhat cheery about housework, let me state for the record that I am neither emotionally nor intellectually fulfilled by the life of the housewife. Yet lately I have found myself loading the dishwasher, unloading the dishwasher, folding clothes, and sweeping up a curious mixture of shredded wheat shards, crushed Cheerios and cat hair all day long. Chores and the state of the house have been driving me crazy. It seems like no matter how much (laundry, sweeping, straightening up, etc) I do there is still more (laundry, sweeping, straightening up, etc) to be done. And it has started to eat away at time I would like to spend doing other things, when I am not playing with and caring for Amelia of course, such as writing, reading, posting here, and, perhaps most importantly, watching Teen Mom.

At the same time I really do like staying on top of what needs to be done around the house. Dean is more than willing to do his share and more but he already comes home to The Amelia Channel (all Amelia, all the time!) and it is more fun to hang out and relax during the evenings and on weekends than to catch up on weekly chores. Since I am home all the time anyway it seems like there has to be some way to find a balance between completing the tasks that need to be done and spending some of Amelia's nap time doing what I like, want and need to do to feel like my life is more than breastfeeding, housework, and singing "The Wheels on the Bus."

So, the other morning I began to imagine what the job of "housewife" and "stay at home mom" would look like if I had to go into an office to do it. I figure there would be more structure. Tasks organized into a sort of daily and weekly routine rather than a nebulous and perpetual blob.

So I made a list of everything I do: all the chores, errands, outings and fun things I usually do in an average week. Then I divided them up by how often they need to be done. There are daily chores like sweeping. There are every other day chores like doing a load of laundry or diapers. There are things that really only need to be done once a week, like going through all the mail and paying bills, and irritating administrative things like making appointments or trying to consolidate your various retirement accounts, a result of changing states and jobs several times, into a single IRA.

Next I drew up a little schedule:



I am hoping a loose structure is going to help me better use my time. As you can see my and Amelia's workday day is divided into 5 main segments: morning playtime, morning nap, midday playtime, afternoon nap, and post-nap. We go to the park in the mornings but I am happiest when the kitchen is clean, the beds are made, and I have showered before we go. Otherwise that stuff eats into A's morning nap, which as you can see I most like to use to write. Midday playtime is the best time to leave the house for errands like grocery shopping or for fun things like Book Babies or lunch with Dean, which we have decided to do once a week. (Sometimes I will join Amelia and Dean for lunch and sometimes I will leave them to their own devices for an hour while I go to the library, something I am very excited about.) We really spend most of Amelia's waking time playing or reading or the like but I am usually able to get a few things done while she pulls pots and pans out the of cabinets or turns the pages of board books on her own.

And, as a bonus, now readers of this blog can easily look up what I am doing at any given moment. Note that we are on Mountain Standard Time. :) As you can see, I am right on track: it is Thursday afternoon and I am writing on the blog. However, I am noticing that I forgot to add Teen Mom to my schedule. Pencil that in for right now.

Deja Vu...

So we are crying it out again. After consulting with several other breastfeeding mothers I decided that I had to make up my mind either to commit to night weaning or accept the fact that Amelia was going to wake up 1-3 times a night for however long and not worry about it anymore. Then Tuesday night, she woke up 3 times, at 11:30, 2:00 and 4:00. The anger I felt about being wrenched out of all my deep sleep plus the exhaustion and despair I felt on and off all day yesterday indicated to me that I need to commit to night weaning. Yesterday morning it was like I had had no break from Amelia at all and I did not feel like playing, talking, singing, or reading board books. Since those are important parts of my job, I decided:

no more milk between bedtime and 4 am.

I explained the new plan to Amelia yesterday evening as she went to sleep. She seemed game.

Last night she cried, on and off, for 20 minutes at 12:30, less than 5 minutes at 3:00, and then again 4:45, when I went to her. Oddly, she cried LOUDLY when I put her back down after the 4:45 feeding, but only for about 5 minutes. Then she slept (mostly--there was some faint babbling) till just after 7:00 am.

Whew.

It wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. Of course I was wide awake between 12:30 and after 2:00.

I am hoping that after 3 nights she will be back into her previous pattern of sleeping most of the night... and then, one fine day, I will be able to sleep all night too.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Cousins


We got to meet Micah this weekend! It kind of looks like Amelia was caught in the act of interrogating him. But they were just discussing serious world events.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Are You Sleeping? Are You Sleeping?

because we are not.

Sigh.

I mean, it could be worse. I am very aware that it could be worse. Amelia does not wake up and stay awake. She is not waking up every hour, like another Book Baby we know, whose poor mother looks worse than I do. But. She. Is. Still. Waking. Up. Every. Night! At least twice, usually around 2 and 4 am. But last night it was 10:30 and 4.

Now. I know several people with brand new babies, and I am aware that to them it sounds super luxurious to have a baby who only wakes up twice. But Amelia is 11 months old and I am losing my ability to persevere. And my ability to even remember words like persevere.

It's not the waking up so much as the fact that I cannot go back to sleep after waking up--although it's getting very old being wrenched out of all my deep sleep cycles too. We had that stretch, that beautiful stretch, of Amelia sleeping till around 4 or 5, then going back to sleep till 6 or 6:30. I can do once. It's fine. But then 10:30 or (and sometimes AND) 2:00 AND 4 or 5 is getting me down.

I don't know why the stretch ended. What she was doing was crying out--VERY briefly--just a few wahs--and then going back to sleep. Since I knew she was in the pattern of going back to sleep, the wahs didn't really wake me up enough to stay awake. I think one night she didn't go right back to sleep, so I nursed her, and now we are back in the bad pattern.

I have read all the sleep books. I hate all the sleep books. Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child is like the baby sleep gestapo. At the other end of the spectrum we have The No-Cry Sleep Solution--seriously? I don't think it's possible to get a baby to sleep with NO crying. The Ferber idea of intermittent checking sounded good--except Amelia gets much angrier if you check on her and then exit her room than if you just leave her alone in there.

Last night we tried crying it out and she cried for 45 minutes, getting angrier and angrier. I am probably not committed enough to the crying it out for it to work. I don't know. I might really need to night wean, like A's pediatrician told me.

Do you have ideas? Will this magically get better when she turns one? I am trying to hang in there another month.

I am discouraged. I am losing hope. I am relying on frozen cookie dough to get by.

Happy Birthday to A

Not yet... but soon!

I've gotten several requests for ideas about first birthday presents for Amelia. She has been fairly tight lipped about revealing what she wants, so I guess I will have to speak for her this year. I'll start by saying that you don't have to get her anything!-- but I know some of you will. So the second thing I'll say is that some of her favorite things are things I never would have gotten for her. If you have your own ideas about what a one-year-old might want, I am sure they are great. A few of my ideas are below:

1. The ability to sleep through the night--this is not a joke. This is more for me than for Amelia but I will take prayers, charms, magic tricks, advice, stories about what worked for you, ANYTHING. Ironically, I have been too tired to write about Amelia's sleep. I will try to do it next--if her nap lasts long enough. Ha.

2. Come visit Amelia in Denver. She loves company more than gifts.

3. It occurred to me recently than Amelia needed shoes. She is pulling up to stand a lot and beginning to cruise. A closer look at the sand she so loves in the park reveals a variety of sharpish things, like sticks and even the occasional piece of glass. So today we had our first mommy-daughter shopping trip. I bought her a pair of Robeez. They are extremely cute. She is now a size 5. But according to the very knowledgeable shoe store lady, she will outgrow these shoes in about three months and also need shoes with a tougher sole for when she walks. So if you are into baby shoe shopping...

4. We've been thinking ahead to winter gear. A has a lot of summer clothes but relatively few long sleeve shirts and pants. Her size is currently around 12-18 months. Dean pointed out the other day that Amelia will have outgrown her old winter coats. Like a certain trio of kittens, she has no mittens. And she has one pair of these baby legwarmers that I love. Another pair might be nice. (Incidentally, the baby modeling the purple polka dot legwarmers (the one on the potty) is my friend's baby Faith!) Secondhand clothes--and shoes--and anything else--are great!

5. Toy wise, Amelia currently loves colorful board books and flash cards. Study or plastic-coated paper is best because she loves to chew on the books and cards as much as she likes to look at them. Maybe that will pass soon?

Other than that, I don't know. I am not sure what Dean and I will get her either. I think we are going to start a college fund for her... but it might be fun to get her a new toy also. I'd actually love suggestions from anyone with an older baby. What toys did your baby love around age one?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Camping with A, Part Two: The Campsite

We lived in a tent with Amelia for two days.

Here's the site before the tent was set up.



Amelia loved playing in the tent and throwing herself around on the air mattress.



As one would expect, her sleep in the tent was not great. She actually did pretty well the first night, if you don't count being woken up by a barking dog an hour after she fell asleep. The second night, she cried a lot and loudly, and so we let her sleep in the air mattress with us. Unfortunately the air mattress had a slow leak, so we slept--to the extent that we slept--in a sort of U with baby A in the trough.


We were glad to see the mornings come. But it was chilly in the mornings, so Amelia wore her 80's legwarmers.


We had a great view.



Overall, we enjoyed camping. Dean and I are more used to backpacking than car camping so we were excited to have loads of things we couldn't have taken on a backpacking trip, like the aforementioned pillows and a bottle of wine. But we still made a long list of even more stuff we would take if we went again, like Amelia's high chair (she spent mealtimes crawling over her food in search of rocks to put in her mouth) and perhaps a soundproof box for the Pack and Play (haha).

Camping With A, Part One: Windsor Lake

So to continue the story of our busy August, after Liz and Oliver left, we packed up for our first camping trip with Baby A. Armed with a car full of essential gear, including an air mattress, the Pack and Play, a sleep sack, and our own wonderful pillows, we set off for Whitestar Campgound, a few miles outside of Leadville, CO.

On the way to the campground, we took what was described in a certain guidebook (and by a certain other person in this family) to be "short," "easy," and "beautiful" hike to a lake.

Beautiful: yes.



Short: I'll concede to short. It was about a mile.

Easy: Um, no. The mile was straight uphill. Up, up and away.

So on the way up this mile, I began to get grouchy, very very grouchy. I generally get at least somewhat grouchy at some point during most hikes, around the same time I run out of breath. But I also usually get over the grouchiness very quickly, either by slowing down, taking a break, or getting Dean to encourage me. He is a pro at making it sound like we really are almost there. But this time, I think I was discouraged by the fact that this "easy" hike was so brutal. Finally I realized that Dean was very out of breath too. The guide book's author, quite simply, is a dirty liar.

To be fair, it really was a short hike. And I suspect that if I did the same hike today I wouldn't think it was quite as hard, because I am more used to climbing up Colorado's various slopes. But at the time it was really hard. Note to guide book authors: short and easy are not the same thing. I will take a long, flattish hike over a short, steep one any day. Not that I am likely to find a long, flat hike anywhere around here. Unless I can convince Dean that we need to hike the eastern plains...

Anyway, it also really was a beautiful hike. There were tons of wildflowers.







And toadstools.



And this cave.



And the lake was very beautiful. The water in these Rocky Mountain lakes is very clear.



When we got to the lake, Amelia and I had a little picnic while Dean climbed to the top of the ridge above the lake, so he could see over the Continental Divide. Then we went down, down, down, and made our merry way to the campground.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Blog Meets Blog



As you will recall, we kicked off our month of summer fun with a visit from my friend Liz and her son Oliver. Liz wrote about the visit much more promptly than I did (am doing), but rest assured it was a great week.

Last weekend I had some rare free time in our cabin in Estes Park (more on that soon), and I spent some of it catching up on my reading my blog list. I was really touched to read the nice things Liz had to say about her visit here and about our friendship.

I have probably written about this before but Liz and I met at Governor's School East in 1996. We spent 6 weeks becoming lifetime friends. I LOVED everything about GSE, especially getting to know Liz, and when it came time to go home that summer, I was heartbroken--except I wasn't that sad to leave Liz. I knew--I just knew--that we would always be friends.

As things worked out, we were--but also sort of weren't. We thought we might be college roommates, but then went to different universities. After college, we went our separate ways and only rarely wrote each other very short emails. But when somehow--I don't quite remember how--I started reading Liz's blog. Then I started my own blog. Then Liz and I shared some pieces of writing through email, and then she had a baby. Then I had a baby--and we were in touch constantly.

I wouldn't call Liz one of my "mommy friends"-- those are the friends you have just because you are a mom, people you wouldn't really have much to say to if you weren't both sitting on blankets in the park, trying to prevent your babies from eating too much grass. Liz is my friend because she is kind, funny, and super smart, because she is just one of those people, rare in my life at least, that I liked immediately and liked more the more I got to know her. But she has been one of my most important friends who is also a mom. Oliver was born a year and a month before Amelia, and not only has Liz patiently dispensed advice regarding breast pumps, diapers, baby monitors, and God knows what else, watching the adventures of Liz and little G has also, more importantly, given me a model of what life as a mother can look like. Liz is a mom but also a teacher and a writer , a wife, a sister and a daughter, a blogger and a friend to others and someone who takes time for herself--not to mention a pregnant person. And now she is also a PhD student. She wrote that she is nervous about this new venture, understandably so, but if anyone can do it, it's you, Liz! I have no doubts. You will make a truly outstanding professor of education.

Anyway, so Liz and Oliver came to visit! We had a great time, especially considering that due to A and G's different ages and nap schedules, one of them was sleeping for a great part of each day. We managed trips to both the zoo and to Book Babies, and had daily picnics in the park. Liz was very patient with some of Amelia's more difficult nap episodes and my fear of driving on Denver's Interstate 25, which made our travels from and to the airport take longer than they really should have. (I have since conquered that fear--yea me! I am a grownup who can drive on the busiest stretch of interstate in Colorado!--but at the time I insisted on taking the long way.) It was a real treat to have so much time to catch up with Liz and to really meet Oliver, who I have read about extensively but spent little actual time with. He is a fabulous kid. He is calm, happy, loving--and he can put away an impressive number of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!



Speaking of the airport, I cried when we dropped them off. Thanks for visiting, Liz. I wish you lived next door, but I know we will be friends wherever we are.

P.S.! The fish oil smell is all gone. :)

11 Months

Amelia was 11 months old on Sunday, September 5!



It's a little hard to believe she will be one year old in less than a month. Although we have been through plenty of days that seemed to last forever, I can see why parents say time passes so quickly.

Here is Amelia last year at this time.



Whew.

We wrapped up our month of visitor and travel this weekend with a trip to Rocky Mountain National Park. It has been a great month, busy but very fun. We have really enjoyed having so much company, showing off our new house and new city. Now, I have a lot of catching up to do on the blog and with writing in general. There are 140 messages in my email inbox, something that almost never happens. I like to keep up. And I started and then abandoned a new poetry blog, and I have some ideas for poems. So, I am making September a writing month. Stay tuned.