This is my 401st post on QuestionAir. What better way to celebrate than with an old-fashioned Random Update?
The sweet
Amelia is a sweetheart. She loves to sing. She has been watching short nursery rhyme videos on the ipad (look for "Mother Goose Club" or "Snap Smart Kids" on YouTube) while I clean up in the mornings, and it is one of her favorite things to do. She has not liked TV much in the past so it is a relief to have found something that will entertain her for 10 or 15 minutes.
She will sing along to the videos and sing them by herself while she is playing, but she also likes to makes up her own nonsense words to the tune of the rhymes. She makes herself (and me and Dean) laugh and laugh doing this. I will try to post a video soon.
In other playtime news, she very much likes her baby dolls. She will rock them, sing to them, feed them, and also make them whine and then try to figure out what's wrong with them. I wonder where she got that from? It actually brings us around to
The not-so-sweet
We have had our fair share of whining and bratty two-year-old behavior these days. The worst is mysterious whining early in the morning. Amelia will go from happy and sunny to a big toddler mess in a fraction of the second. I can usually discern reasons for the bad moments--teething or hunger or tiredness, for example. I feel like I have been blaming the whining on Amelia's two-year molars for about two years, but THEY ARE STILL NOT IN. She is sometimes overtired because she is not napping--more on that below. But sometimes the behavior just feels like plain old bad behavior.
For example, Amelia likes to climb into her car seat by herself. She usually does it reasonably quickly. "Reasonably quickly" in Amelia-time means much longer than in regular time, but I can deal. However, yesterday she wouldn't climb in and wouldn't climb in, and I was standing in the snow (!) waiting, so finally I said, "Amelia, please climb in your carseat or I am going to put you in it."
"I wanna do it by myself," she said.
"Okay," I said. "Then do it, please."
And she VERY, VERY slowly moved about one inch toward the seat. She stopped to look at me with wide and what can only be described as testing eyes. She wanted to see how much I was going to put up with or how slow she could go.
So I picked her up and put her in. This did not go very well. Have you ever tried to put unwilling two-year-old in a carseat? I felt terrible forcing her in it, but it felt like one of those parent moments when you have to follow through or things will get much worse. She cried about wanting to do it by herself. I said I understood and that next time she got in, she would have another chance to try again to climb in by herself right when Mama asked her to. We held hands and I talked about feelings. (Mama feels frustrated when Amelia doesn't do what Mama asks her to; Amelia feels angry that she did not get into her seat by herself.) She calmed down. The next time we had to get in the car, I reminded her she had one chance to get in quickly, and she did it.
So that problem is now solved forever, right?
The other thing we are working on is saying please and thank you. Amelia absolutely refuses to say thank you to anyone when we are out, like if the librarian gives her a special stamp. I know she feels shy so I don't push that much for now, but at home she sometimes sounds like a tiny dictator. "Mama, get me that juice." "Daddy, I want that toy." So last week, I wrote "PLEASE" and "THANK YOU" on some leftover Valentine hearts. Amelia decorated them with stickers and we taped them up all over the house. It reminds me and Dean to model please and thank you in our requests to Amelia and to each other, and to repeat Amelia's requests in a polite way before we fulfill them. I have been trying to avoid turning asking her say please for things into a power struggle, mainly by getting really excited when she does say it, especially on her own. I just try to remember that like everything else, teaching manners is a process.
Speaking of sleep
Naps are rare. It seems like Amelia tends to nap on Wednesdays, for some reason. Usually she just plays in her bed for an hour or so, sometimes happily, sometimes suddenly yelling "Mama, come here!" in the middle of her playtime. If she does fall asleep, she will sleep for about two hours. She continues to sleep very well at night, and I continue to be extremely thankful for that fact. When she doesn't nap, we put her to bed early. Last night she was in bed at 6:45. She talked and sang to herself for awhile and then fell asleep by 7:15, and slept till 6:25 this morning.
Teeth
Dear two-year-molars, you are terrible things. Please grow more quickly.
Mama's life
Since not being accepted to DU, I have been a little overwhelmed at how quickly all of the other things I wanted to do, writing-wise, have started to happen. I signed up for a poetry workshop, and that is going very well. I took a book review class and contacted an editor about writing my first review. I was contacted, out of the blue, about teaching a youth poetry class for an 8-week session. And, through a friend, I applied and was accepted to write at Examiner.com. I am now the "Denver Stay-at-Home Mom Examiner." You can read my first article here.
Several people have asked my if I will apply to DU again next year. I will not. I did my best on the application, and I am fairly if not totally certain that the reason I was not accepted is that my writing was simply not a good fit for the program. If you're not particularly into contemporary poetry, this might not make much sense, but the short explanation is that DU and the journal it produces, the Denver Quarterly, is known for experimental writing. I am not an experimental writer. (I could get into how all writing is experimental, but as far as the label "experimental" goes, it doesn't apply to me.) There are other programs I am confident I could get into, thank you very much, but they are in places very far from Denver, so for now I am going to keep working and writing on my own and look for other ways to create the writing life I would like to have, with the added bonus that I can do it at my own pace.
Some things I am thankful for
Spring weather, which has returned today after yesterday's snow. My wonderful husband, who returned from a long trip last week. The tiny plants that are starting to grow, a sign of the summer to come. The odd moments I have to write. My wonderful child. I realized the other day I will be truly and deeply sad when I don't have a toddler anymore. Amelia will be exactly two and half tomorrow.
Showing posts with label Teething. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teething. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Friday, May 20, 2011
19 Facts for 19 Months
1. 19 months has been a lot of fun! I somehow never imagined Amelia being older than 18 months. 18 months was a big milestone in my mind, a sort of "I've made it this far so I think I'm gonna make it!" I remember holding 3- or 4-month old Baby A, enviously staring at parents with 18-month-olds. So when Amelia turned 19 months old, it was kind of a shock: it keeps going after this? Maybe because I truly had no expectations, I have been pleasantly surprised.
Part of that is because 2. Amelia is talking more and more. With talking comes communicating, so it's easier to figure out what she wants and doesn't want. Also, it's hilarious. She repeats tons of what we say, including, this morning, "suck it." In context, it was fine--she found one of those mesh baby teether things and I was telling her what to do with it: "You suck it." She spent the next hour saying, "Suck it! Suck it!" Then she stopped. I am hoping she has forgotten it.
3. Other, less disturbing things she says:
"Momma Epyoo" (Momma help you.) She says this when she wants me to help her.
"Naken" (Naked). She loves to be naked. She needs Momma Epyoo to undress, though.
"Peekaboo!" It's adorable. She actually memorized a little peekaboo book, Peek-a-who, from the library. She has also done a few short sentences: "Momma comin'?" "Daddy doin'?" She makes it clear to us that we drop our "g's."
4. Amelia loves her extended family, and talks about them all the time. If we talk about what we are doing, she lists all of her family members and we have to say what they are all doing at that moment.
5. Amelia loves to sing. We also have to include all family members' names in one of her favorites songs, Raffi's Willougby Wallaby Woo. Other favorites songs include Raffi's song about going to the zoo, the ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Old MacDonald.
6. We really are weaned. It really is done. Overall, it has been easier than I thought. Amelia asks for "mik" fewer times each day, and yesterday she seemed to do it almost as a joke. She drinks a lot more other liquids, which makes sense. She likes juice of all kinds, regular milk, and "chocate mik" (which is really chocolate soymilk, mostly for the sake of variety).
7. Amelia still snuggles! She likes to hug, to sit in my lap, or to play a games where she pushes me over and falls on me. And the last couple of naps, she has let me rock her to sleep! This is a huge improvement over crying for 10 minutes each and every naptime. I do think sometimes kids just have to cry themselves to sleep--or Amelia does anyway--but I just cannot take it at naptime.
8. These days Amelia is napping around 12-2, give or take 15-20 minutes on either side. It's predictable, for now, which probably adds to my general enjoyment of the days.
9. And we have a pretty set little routine, something I also enjoy. Amelia wakes up between 5 and 6 (sometimes before 5, yikes, but less and less). She likes to play upstairs for a while, then come down and have something to eat and drink. If it's cool and the heat is on, she likes to sit on the big heating vent in our living room and eat her snack. There are fairly large holes in the vent. Sometimes, from the kitchen, I can hear her muttering "too big, too big" or calling "Uh oh!" I have removed a wide variety of items from the vent, but luckily there is a flat place under the vent to catch anything that happens to fall. This is not the best toddler habit but I have decided that for now it is not a battle I want to fight. And it buys me time to clean up the kitchen.
After Dean leaves for work, Amelia and I play downstairs for awhile and read some books. Then we go upstairs and I take a shower while she plays in the bathroom. I take some toys in there to entertain her or she looks at the toiletries in the various baskets I have. (All babyproofed.) This week, she discovered a drawer that contained tampons and has been having a great time dissecting them. Again: it buys some time.
Then we get dressed, a long process, since sometime in the morning Amelia usually become naken. I try to brush her teeth, and once we are ready, we leave the house. On Mondays we go to the grocery store, and other days we go to the Children's Museum or some other fun place, or run other errands, or if it's nice, go to the park. I try to have her home by 11, and we have lunch. Then she messes around till noon while I half play with her, half straighten up. We read some more books, then nap.
After her nap she likes to play with animals in her crib for awhile, and then we usually try to get out of the house again. Amelia is much more grouchy about being in her car seat in the afternoons, so I don't like to go anywhere too far. My favorite thing is to just spend the afternoon in the park, but we haven't been able to do that much lately. Apparently of the 65 non-sunny days a year Denver supposedly has, 31 are in May. So afternoons this week have been challenging.
Anyway, Dean gets home around 5:15, and we all play/work in the yard, or I go to yoga (!; see below). Amelia tends to be hungry for dinner early, between 4:45 and 5:30. We feed her, then she plays till bathtime and goes to bed between 7 and 7:30.
The days are mostly very good.
10. One of my Mother's Day presents was an unlimited summer yoga pass. I picked it out myself. It lasts through July and I have been going to yoga as much as I can. I go in the evenings to a 6-7:15 class. It gives Dean and Amelia time to play and do the bath-bed routine. We have found that when I am in the house, she is much fussier about having me be right with her. If I go to "cass," she might be a little upset when I leave but quickly gets over it and everyone has a pleasant evening, especially Momma. I love going to yoga. May has been a bit more sporadic than I planned, but I have made it to at least 2 classes a week. I am hoping to go more even more often in June.
11. Teething: Amelia is getting her canine teeth. This has truly seemed to last forever, and they seem to bother her a lot more than most of her other teeth. She has drooled, run a low fever, and gnawed on her fingers a lot over the past two months at least. It has gotten so that when she gets too fussy, I just get out the Orajel. I will be glad when the teeth are finally in.
12. In other toddler behavior news, I should touch on eating and sleeping if only for the record. Amelia's eating remains very toddler-esque: she will eat like a horse for a few days, making her mother very happy, and then seem to eat almost nothing for a day or two or more. Highlights of the eating times have been berries of all types, a return to chickpeas, and tiny broccoli florets--raw. Discovering that she liked broccoli was an accident. I gave her a crown of broccoli to hold in the grocery store and she started chewing on it. She is definitely a grazer. Her favorite snacks are salty, crunchy ones like pretzels, crackers and Veggie Straws.
13. My most hated baby-related chore--and I have thought this through--is changing crib sheets. It's terrible! The sheets are super tight and they get caught up in the bumper pad and it takes forever and I think I pull a muscle every time I do it, which is often because Amelia spends so much time lolling in the sand in the park.
14. We are not exactly potty training, but we now own 2 training potties, one that sits on the floor and one that sits on the big potty. Amelia likes to take apart or fill with toys the one on the floor but other than that has no interest in using them. But since she is naken so much she is becoming more aware of when she needs to use the bathroom. She says "pee-pee" for both pee and poop, then proceeds to go on the floor. It seems to upset her so I try to be very upbeat and encouraging about it:
Me: Pee on the floor! That's great! Let's get a towel!
Amelia: (standing naked in a pool pf pee, looking upset) Momma epyoo! Towel!
15. Our garden is planted and growing. I owe you an entire garden-related post, but we (and by we I mean Dean) have planted tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, blueberries, asparagus, peas, radishes, and flowers, and squash and beans will be planted soon. Our fingers are crossed.
16. I love my Denver friends. The playgroup has really gelled, and I spend a lot of time with my neighbor and her daughter. It makes living here so much easier.
17. I still clean too much. I am trying to cut back, I swear.
18. How many ambulance rides have you taken in your life? Because Amelia has now had two. Last week, she fell out of her wagon and hit her head. She cried inconsolably for over 10 minutes, then got sleepy, so Dean called 911. Luckily, by the time the paramedics got here, she was much better. They took her to the ER just in case. The doctors all thought she was fine but watched her for 2 hours (in hospital time, if was just over 3). We were super relieved. It was terrifying while it lasted--one of those times that reveals to you the fact that your child is your entire world--but I think it says something that I just thought of it here at the end of the post. Um, welcome to parenthood? Just as I felt when she got through the appendix episode, I am deeply thankful that she is all right, still her sunny, funny, lovely self. I would think that Amelia could be finished with ambulance rides now, though. Seriously.
19. This is my 350th post. I am glad blogging is still part of my life. I had a community of blog "friends" long before I had very many real mom friends. I love the blogs I read (and I should say I stole this idea of a listed post from Liz's birthday post on BC), and I love writing posts too. This is the only baby journal I keep, and it is so nice to share Amelia with so many others.
Part of that is because 2. Amelia is talking more and more. With talking comes communicating, so it's easier to figure out what she wants and doesn't want. Also, it's hilarious. She repeats tons of what we say, including, this morning, "suck it." In context, it was fine--she found one of those mesh baby teether things and I was telling her what to do with it: "You suck it." She spent the next hour saying, "Suck it! Suck it!" Then she stopped. I am hoping she has forgotten it.
3. Other, less disturbing things she says:
"Momma Epyoo" (Momma help you.) She says this when she wants me to help her.
"Naken" (Naked). She loves to be naked. She needs Momma Epyoo to undress, though.
"Peekaboo!" It's adorable. She actually memorized a little peekaboo book, Peek-a-who, from the library. She has also done a few short sentences: "Momma comin'?" "Daddy doin'?" She makes it clear to us that we drop our "g's."
4. Amelia loves her extended family, and talks about them all the time. If we talk about what we are doing, she lists all of her family members and we have to say what they are all doing at that moment.
5. Amelia loves to sing. We also have to include all family members' names in one of her favorites songs, Raffi's Willougby Wallaby Woo. Other favorites songs include Raffi's song about going to the zoo, the ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Old MacDonald.
6. We really are weaned. It really is done. Overall, it has been easier than I thought. Amelia asks for "mik" fewer times each day, and yesterday she seemed to do it almost as a joke. She drinks a lot more other liquids, which makes sense. She likes juice of all kinds, regular milk, and "chocate mik" (which is really chocolate soymilk, mostly for the sake of variety).
7. Amelia still snuggles! She likes to hug, to sit in my lap, or to play a games where she pushes me over and falls on me. And the last couple of naps, she has let me rock her to sleep! This is a huge improvement over crying for 10 minutes each and every naptime. I do think sometimes kids just have to cry themselves to sleep--or Amelia does anyway--but I just cannot take it at naptime.
8. These days Amelia is napping around 12-2, give or take 15-20 minutes on either side. It's predictable, for now, which probably adds to my general enjoyment of the days.
9. And we have a pretty set little routine, something I also enjoy. Amelia wakes up between 5 and 6 (sometimes before 5, yikes, but less and less). She likes to play upstairs for a while, then come down and have something to eat and drink. If it's cool and the heat is on, she likes to sit on the big heating vent in our living room and eat her snack. There are fairly large holes in the vent. Sometimes, from the kitchen, I can hear her muttering "too big, too big" or calling "Uh oh!" I have removed a wide variety of items from the vent, but luckily there is a flat place under the vent to catch anything that happens to fall. This is not the best toddler habit but I have decided that for now it is not a battle I want to fight. And it buys me time to clean up the kitchen.
After Dean leaves for work, Amelia and I play downstairs for awhile and read some books. Then we go upstairs and I take a shower while she plays in the bathroom. I take some toys in there to entertain her or she looks at the toiletries in the various baskets I have. (All babyproofed.) This week, she discovered a drawer that contained tampons and has been having a great time dissecting them. Again: it buys some time.
Then we get dressed, a long process, since sometime in the morning Amelia usually become naken. I try to brush her teeth, and once we are ready, we leave the house. On Mondays we go to the grocery store, and other days we go to the Children's Museum or some other fun place, or run other errands, or if it's nice, go to the park. I try to have her home by 11, and we have lunch. Then she messes around till noon while I half play with her, half straighten up. We read some more books, then nap.
After her nap she likes to play with animals in her crib for awhile, and then we usually try to get out of the house again. Amelia is much more grouchy about being in her car seat in the afternoons, so I don't like to go anywhere too far. My favorite thing is to just spend the afternoon in the park, but we haven't been able to do that much lately. Apparently of the 65 non-sunny days a year Denver supposedly has, 31 are in May. So afternoons this week have been challenging.
Anyway, Dean gets home around 5:15, and we all play/work in the yard, or I go to yoga (!; see below). Amelia tends to be hungry for dinner early, between 4:45 and 5:30. We feed her, then she plays till bathtime and goes to bed between 7 and 7:30.
The days are mostly very good.
10. One of my Mother's Day presents was an unlimited summer yoga pass. I picked it out myself. It lasts through July and I have been going to yoga as much as I can. I go in the evenings to a 6-7:15 class. It gives Dean and Amelia time to play and do the bath-bed routine. We have found that when I am in the house, she is much fussier about having me be right with her. If I go to "cass," she might be a little upset when I leave but quickly gets over it and everyone has a pleasant evening, especially Momma. I love going to yoga. May has been a bit more sporadic than I planned, but I have made it to at least 2 classes a week. I am hoping to go more even more often in June.
11. Teething: Amelia is getting her canine teeth. This has truly seemed to last forever, and they seem to bother her a lot more than most of her other teeth. She has drooled, run a low fever, and gnawed on her fingers a lot over the past two months at least. It has gotten so that when she gets too fussy, I just get out the Orajel. I will be glad when the teeth are finally in.
12. In other toddler behavior news, I should touch on eating and sleeping if only for the record. Amelia's eating remains very toddler-esque: she will eat like a horse for a few days, making her mother very happy, and then seem to eat almost nothing for a day or two or more. Highlights of the eating times have been berries of all types, a return to chickpeas, and tiny broccoli florets--raw. Discovering that she liked broccoli was an accident. I gave her a crown of broccoli to hold in the grocery store and she started chewing on it. She is definitely a grazer. Her favorite snacks are salty, crunchy ones like pretzels, crackers and Veggie Straws.
13. My most hated baby-related chore--and I have thought this through--is changing crib sheets. It's terrible! The sheets are super tight and they get caught up in the bumper pad and it takes forever and I think I pull a muscle every time I do it, which is often because Amelia spends so much time lolling in the sand in the park.
14. We are not exactly potty training, but we now own 2 training potties, one that sits on the floor and one that sits on the big potty. Amelia likes to take apart or fill with toys the one on the floor but other than that has no interest in using them. But since she is naken so much she is becoming more aware of when she needs to use the bathroom. She says "pee-pee" for both pee and poop, then proceeds to go on the floor. It seems to upset her so I try to be very upbeat and encouraging about it:
Me: Pee on the floor! That's great! Let's get a towel!
Amelia: (standing naked in a pool pf pee, looking upset) Momma epyoo! Towel!
15. Our garden is planted and growing. I owe you an entire garden-related post, but we (and by we I mean Dean) have planted tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, blueberries, asparagus, peas, radishes, and flowers, and squash and beans will be planted soon. Our fingers are crossed.
16. I love my Denver friends. The playgroup has really gelled, and I spend a lot of time with my neighbor and her daughter. It makes living here so much easier.
17. I still clean too much. I am trying to cut back, I swear.
18. How many ambulance rides have you taken in your life? Because Amelia has now had two. Last week, she fell out of her wagon and hit her head. She cried inconsolably for over 10 minutes, then got sleepy, so Dean called 911. Luckily, by the time the paramedics got here, she was much better. They took her to the ER just in case. The doctors all thought she was fine but watched her for 2 hours (in hospital time, if was just over 3). We were super relieved. It was terrifying while it lasted--one of those times that reveals to you the fact that your child is your entire world--but I think it says something that I just thought of it here at the end of the post. Um, welcome to parenthood? Just as I felt when she got through the appendix episode, I am deeply thankful that she is all right, still her sunny, funny, lovely self. I would think that Amelia could be finished with ambulance rides now, though. Seriously.
19. This is my 350th post. I am glad blogging is still part of my life. I had a community of blog "friends" long before I had very many real mom friends. I love the blogs I read (and I should say I stole this idea of a listed post from Liz's birthday post on BC), and I love writing posts too. This is the only baby journal I keep, and it is so nice to share Amelia with so many others.
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Plan
I have decided to wean. I even have a plan.
I am not sure what made me finally make this decision. I guess it's a combination of things. First, Amelia has a lot more teeth these days. Enough said there. Also, she is in stage of huge attachment to me. Sometimes I think she is more clingy and whiny just because I am around. I am starting to feel like nursing is just a habit for her, and one that is not always serving her well. And she is almost 18 months old, which is how old both I and my sister were when my mom weaned us, so 18 months has always seemed like a good age to wean to me because of that.
Not to say I am not conflicted. A couple of weeks ago, I checked out a bunch of books from the library with titles like Mothering Your Nursing Toddler and How Weaning Happens. Turns out all of the books were published by La Leche League. They did offer some good tips-- ways to distract a child from nursing, for example, and the fact that if you're not going to nurse, you are going to need to pay a lot of extra attention to your child--but overall the message from the books is that kids wean themselves when they are ready. Usually by age 4 at the latest. As in four. Years. Old.
Part of me--the part that really wanted to do yoga during labor, to give birth at home, to fire my male OB for a bescarved and tattooed midwife--still really wants to let Amelia wean herself. However, the part of that decided to stick with the male OB and give birth at a hospital strongly suspects that Amelia is one of those kids who would happily breastfeed till she is 4. Or 5. Or older. And that part of me has no interest in breastfeeding that long.
My plan is this. Yesterday, I cut off the nursing during naptime (again). I figure this would be hard but still maybe one of the easiest times to cut out because if Amelia is sleepy, she will eventually go to sleep. I told Amelia that we weren't going to have milk at naptime. She understood. She even said "no mama" as I was changing her diaper. I said, "Yes, you still have mama, just no milk!" and tickled her. She laughed. I kept doing that for a minute. It was funny. When it was time to put her down, we put some dolls and stuffed animals in her crib in case she was not sleepy right away. She looked interested. Then I sat in the glider and rocked her and sang. She snuggled and listened for about 2 seconds and then tried to nurse. "No milk at naptime," I said. I offered her water. She refused it. She cried. Angrily. I tried to rock her and sing, but she was having none of it. So I put her in the crib with the water.
She cried. Loudly and angrily.
Since Dean was home, he went up to sing to her like he does at bedtime. She cried. She was mad. But as soon as he left the room she went to sleep.
I, however, cried for quite awhile. In the meantime I was reading _Unbuttoned_, and in one essay about weaning, the author mentioned a study somewhere that asked older children who nursed about breastmilk. They said it was better than ice cream, better than cookies. Something about that made me cry and cry. I want Amelia to be happy and healthy. What if weaning is traumatic for her?
But, she woke up. She was fine. She ate Veggie Straws while sitting on my lap--actually, that could be called the first nursing session to go, the post-nap session, since the day I got some Veggie Straws for myself to eat while Amelia nursed after her nap. She snuggled in to nurse, looked at my snack, then sat up and took my bowl. And today at naptime, she only cried for about 3 minutes, then went to sleep. She is still sleeping.
To get back to the plan: although Amelia has never had an exact number of feedings a day, I have divided the day by feeding "sessions". There is first thing in the morning. The rest of the morning. Pre-nap (that's the one that's out this week). Afternoon. And evening. Each week, I will just say there is no milk right now for one of those sessions. So, if all goes according to plan, we'll be done in... 4 more weeks after this. Maybe sooner. She doesn't always do the evening. I am sure things won't go exactly as I plan. But at least I have a plan.
In my book, I came across another passage that stuck with me. It's in an essay called "Wean" by Catherine Newman. In it, she describes "accidentally" nursing her baby (who is 2 years old) a few weeks after she has weaned. It sums up how I am feeling these days:
I have loved nursing, but I have not cherished every moment of it because, frankly, there has just been too much of it. I savor these last few moments with the baby, the baby who is disappearing even as I hold her.
I am not sure what made me finally make this decision. I guess it's a combination of things. First, Amelia has a lot more teeth these days. Enough said there. Also, she is in stage of huge attachment to me. Sometimes I think she is more clingy and whiny just because I am around. I am starting to feel like nursing is just a habit for her, and one that is not always serving her well. And she is almost 18 months old, which is how old both I and my sister were when my mom weaned us, so 18 months has always seemed like a good age to wean to me because of that.
Not to say I am not conflicted. A couple of weeks ago, I checked out a bunch of books from the library with titles like Mothering Your Nursing Toddler and How Weaning Happens. Turns out all of the books were published by La Leche League. They did offer some good tips-- ways to distract a child from nursing, for example, and the fact that if you're not going to nurse, you are going to need to pay a lot of extra attention to your child--but overall the message from the books is that kids wean themselves when they are ready. Usually by age 4 at the latest. As in four. Years. Old.
Part of me--the part that really wanted to do yoga during labor, to give birth at home, to fire my male OB for a bescarved and tattooed midwife--still really wants to let Amelia wean herself. However, the part of that decided to stick with the male OB and give birth at a hospital strongly suspects that Amelia is one of those kids who would happily breastfeed till she is 4. Or 5. Or older. And that part of me has no interest in breastfeeding that long.
My plan is this. Yesterday, I cut off the nursing during naptime (again). I figure this would be hard but still maybe one of the easiest times to cut out because if Amelia is sleepy, she will eventually go to sleep. I told Amelia that we weren't going to have milk at naptime. She understood. She even said "no mama" as I was changing her diaper. I said, "Yes, you still have mama, just no milk!" and tickled her. She laughed. I kept doing that for a minute. It was funny. When it was time to put her down, we put some dolls and stuffed animals in her crib in case she was not sleepy right away. She looked interested. Then I sat in the glider and rocked her and sang. She snuggled and listened for about 2 seconds and then tried to nurse. "No milk at naptime," I said. I offered her water. She refused it. She cried. Angrily. I tried to rock her and sing, but she was having none of it. So I put her in the crib with the water.
She cried. Loudly and angrily.
Since Dean was home, he went up to sing to her like he does at bedtime. She cried. She was mad. But as soon as he left the room she went to sleep.
I, however, cried for quite awhile. In the meantime I was reading _Unbuttoned_, and in one essay about weaning, the author mentioned a study somewhere that asked older children who nursed about breastmilk. They said it was better than ice cream, better than cookies. Something about that made me cry and cry. I want Amelia to be happy and healthy. What if weaning is traumatic for her?
But, she woke up. She was fine. She ate Veggie Straws while sitting on my lap--actually, that could be called the first nursing session to go, the post-nap session, since the day I got some Veggie Straws for myself to eat while Amelia nursed after her nap. She snuggled in to nurse, looked at my snack, then sat up and took my bowl. And today at naptime, she only cried for about 3 minutes, then went to sleep. She is still sleeping.
To get back to the plan: although Amelia has never had an exact number of feedings a day, I have divided the day by feeding "sessions". There is first thing in the morning. The rest of the morning. Pre-nap (that's the one that's out this week). Afternoon. And evening. Each week, I will just say there is no milk right now for one of those sessions. So, if all goes according to plan, we'll be done in... 4 more weeks after this. Maybe sooner. She doesn't always do the evening. I am sure things won't go exactly as I plan. But at least I have a plan.
In my book, I came across another passage that stuck with me. It's in an essay called "Wean" by Catherine Newman. In it, she describes "accidentally" nursing her baby (who is 2 years old) a few weeks after she has weaned. It sums up how I am feeling these days:
I have loved nursing, but I have not cherished every moment of it because, frankly, there has just been too much of it. I savor these last few moments with the baby, the baby who is disappearing even as I hold her.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
What's Going On
Time for a good, old-fashioned Amelia update. I'll sprinkle in a few pictures I just downloaded from my cell phone.
She is talking up a storm. She tries to repeat a lot of what we say, so I am trying even harder to eliminate the surprisingly high number of things I say that I would not want her to say. (I am not sure where I picked up such bad language. I'll blame my past students.)
Here are some of Amelia's new words:
fish
fall
up
down
apple
pear
pizza
crackers
two (as in, I want two crackers, two apples, etc. She wants one for each hand.)
Nanny
Luli
Poppa
Guru
Jes
Hea (for Heather) (She says these family names pointing at pictures; don't worry, we are working on the rest of the family but we need to put up more pictures!)
Momma
Daddy
shoes
boots
phone
pla (plate)
bowl
cup
fork
spoo (spoon)
slide
car
wa (wagon)
ride
dough (as in play dough)
star
moon
ca (helicopter)
Suki (or at least Su, she hardly ever says Gee anymore)
gaffe (giraffe)
no (She says no a lot.)
na (This is what it sounds like when she tries to say "another one" or "the other one" when there are two of things and she wants them; for example "put on my other shoe" or "where is the other baby.")
My mom just taught her yes ("ses") and, in relation to dirty diapers and things you should not put in your mouth, "nasty," which she says extremely clearly.
It's a fun time hearing her say new things. Oh, she also says "new." She loves "new" things. For example, she loves her new wagon, and she wants to ride in it every time she sees it. She also likes climbing on these little bouncy cars they have at the park, and she is proud because she can climb up on them all by herself--mostly. She has been climbing more and more--she can get up on the coffee table, and from there the couch. Scary. She likes to play with her farm animals, and her baby dolls, and her stuffed animals. She likes playing with play dough, but still pretty much just wants to chew on crayons. She can stack a couple of blocks without them falling, although she loves knocking down tall towers built by someone else. She is getting really good at putting small lids on things and has successfully sorted a few different shapes (star, circle, etc) in the sorting toy she has. She has started giving kisses, and will sometimes go through the room kissing all the animals and bringing them to whoever else is in the room so we can also kiss them. She also likes to feed things, making a little chewing sound as she does.
On the eating front, she is still nursing a few times a day, not nearly as much as when she came home from the hospital. She is not eating as much as she was when she came home from the hospital either, but that makes sense. She is falling back in what seems to be a more normal toddler pattern, eating a lot sometimes and hardly anything other times. she still loves noddles and rice and spinach and cheese, and she will usually eat a couple of servings of cut-up fruit a day, and she likes those tubes of yogurt for kids. Overall I feel happy with the amount she is eating and what she eats, which is a good feeling.
A note on teething--I feel like Amelia has been teething constantly since about 13 months. She keeps getting new teeth. Sometimes her gums seem to bother her, sometimes not. I have gotten better at recognizing teething signs like drooling, diaper rash, and gnawing on things, and Amelia realized that she loves Orajel, so it's not too bad. I do wonder if she is teething a lot today. She has a low fever.
Amelia seems to be almost totally over the stranger and new-place anxiety she had after the hospital. For quite awhile--and this partly explains the lack of recent posts, as I was too tired or too discouraged to write--she was not sleeping well. First she was waking up multiple times a night, sometimes screaming, a scared scream, not just a tired fuss. We really think she was having nightmares. Then that slowly faded, and she was sleeping through the night--until between 4 and 5 AM, when she was up for the day. But still tired. It would be one thing to rise at 4 each morning with a sunny, bright-eyed toddler, but this was coming downstairs and facing an immediate tantrum because you wouldn't let Amelia fling ground coffee all over the kitchen. So we started trying things. We tried earlier bedtimes. We tried later bedtimes. We tried leaving her in the crib for a long time, and then going to her right away. I tried nursing her back to sleep. We tried getting her to back to sleep in our bed. We tried early naps. Late naps. One nap, two naps. There were really no clear patterns to what worked and what didn't. One morning--I think it was last Sunday--she woke up at 5, Dean went to check on her and said night, night, and she was quiet. Then she fussed. Then she was quiet. And so on. About 30 minutes later, I gave up and went to her, but she wanted to nurse, and she fell asleep and slept for almost 2 more hours. (Of course Dean and I were wide awake, but whatever.) That return to morning sleep seemed to break the pattern, and she has been sleeping later, waking between 5:45 and 6:30, all week since then. We have been putting her down a littler later too, between 7 and 7:30. I also think, on a nap note, that it has helped to keep her up till at least 11 AM or noon even if she is sleepy earlier. She is definitely taking longer naps in the middle of the day, usually between 1 and a half and two hours, although they have been as short as an hour, and as long as, once last week, three hours and 15 minutes. That is an all time Amelia-nap record.
(In the interest of full disclosure, and for the record, I will note that I have been nursing her to sleep at naps. This started post-hospital and it has been so peaceful, so easy, so much better than the 10-20 minutes of pre-nap crying that went on every nap for the 5 weeks we tried not nursing at naps, that I have kept doing it. I know that it could have something to do with the bedtime problem, but... not willing to give it up yet.)
The one thing Amelia is still doing that seems related to hospital anxiety is having these horrible bedtime-related fits. They seem to be related to separation anxiety from me. She was crying a lot a bath time, so I started going into the bathroom with her, and now she cries when she is put in the crib. She can be perfectly happy, snuggling with Dean and reading stories, and then when it is time to actually go to bed, she just cries and cries. It is very stressful, and sad too because bath and bedtime had been such a peaceful and happy daddy-daughter time. But we are just hanging in there because one thing that seems true about raising a child is that nothing lasts, not the stuff you love but, luckily, also not the stuff you hate. It is just endlessly replaced with new stuff to hate--and luckily, new stuff to love.
She is talking up a storm. She tries to repeat a lot of what we say, so I am trying even harder to eliminate the surprisingly high number of things I say that I would not want her to say. (I am not sure where I picked up such bad language. I'll blame my past students.)
Here are some of Amelia's new words:
fish
fall
up
down
apple
pear
pizza
crackers
two (as in, I want two crackers, two apples, etc. She wants one for each hand.)
Nanny
Luli
Poppa
Guru
Jes
Hea (for Heather) (She says these family names pointing at pictures; don't worry, we are working on the rest of the family but we need to put up more pictures!)
Momma
Daddy
shoes
boots
phone
pla (plate)
bowl
cup
fork
spoo (spoon)
slide
car
wa (wagon)
ride
dough (as in play dough)
star
moon
ca (helicopter)
Suki (or at least Su, she hardly ever says Gee anymore)
gaffe (giraffe)
no (She says no a lot.)
na (This is what it sounds like when she tries to say "another one" or "the other one" when there are two of things and she wants them; for example "put on my other shoe" or "where is the other baby.")
My mom just taught her yes ("ses") and, in relation to dirty diapers and things you should not put in your mouth, "nasty," which she says extremely clearly.
It's a fun time hearing her say new things. Oh, she also says "new." She loves "new" things. For example, she loves her new wagon, and she wants to ride in it every time she sees it. She also likes climbing on these little bouncy cars they have at the park, and she is proud because she can climb up on them all by herself--mostly. She has been climbing more and more--she can get up on the coffee table, and from there the couch. Scary. She likes to play with her farm animals, and her baby dolls, and her stuffed animals. She likes playing with play dough, but still pretty much just wants to chew on crayons. She can stack a couple of blocks without them falling, although she loves knocking down tall towers built by someone else. She is getting really good at putting small lids on things and has successfully sorted a few different shapes (star, circle, etc) in the sorting toy she has. She has started giving kisses, and will sometimes go through the room kissing all the animals and bringing them to whoever else is in the room so we can also kiss them. She also likes to feed things, making a little chewing sound as she does.
On the eating front, she is still nursing a few times a day, not nearly as much as when she came home from the hospital. She is not eating as much as she was when she came home from the hospital either, but that makes sense. She is falling back in what seems to be a more normal toddler pattern, eating a lot sometimes and hardly anything other times. she still loves noddles and rice and spinach and cheese, and she will usually eat a couple of servings of cut-up fruit a day, and she likes those tubes of yogurt for kids. Overall I feel happy with the amount she is eating and what she eats, which is a good feeling.
A note on teething--I feel like Amelia has been teething constantly since about 13 months. She keeps getting new teeth. Sometimes her gums seem to bother her, sometimes not. I have gotten better at recognizing teething signs like drooling, diaper rash, and gnawing on things, and Amelia realized that she loves Orajel, so it's not too bad. I do wonder if she is teething a lot today. She has a low fever.
Amelia seems to be almost totally over the stranger and new-place anxiety she had after the hospital. For quite awhile--and this partly explains the lack of recent posts, as I was too tired or too discouraged to write--she was not sleeping well. First she was waking up multiple times a night, sometimes screaming, a scared scream, not just a tired fuss. We really think she was having nightmares. Then that slowly faded, and she was sleeping through the night--until between 4 and 5 AM, when she was up for the day. But still tired. It would be one thing to rise at 4 each morning with a sunny, bright-eyed toddler, but this was coming downstairs and facing an immediate tantrum because you wouldn't let Amelia fling ground coffee all over the kitchen. So we started trying things. We tried earlier bedtimes. We tried later bedtimes. We tried leaving her in the crib for a long time, and then going to her right away. I tried nursing her back to sleep. We tried getting her to back to sleep in our bed. We tried early naps. Late naps. One nap, two naps. There were really no clear patterns to what worked and what didn't. One morning--I think it was last Sunday--she woke up at 5, Dean went to check on her and said night, night, and she was quiet. Then she fussed. Then she was quiet. And so on. About 30 minutes later, I gave up and went to her, but she wanted to nurse, and she fell asleep and slept for almost 2 more hours. (Of course Dean and I were wide awake, but whatever.) That return to morning sleep seemed to break the pattern, and she has been sleeping later, waking between 5:45 and 6:30, all week since then. We have been putting her down a littler later too, between 7 and 7:30. I also think, on a nap note, that it has helped to keep her up till at least 11 AM or noon even if she is sleepy earlier. She is definitely taking longer naps in the middle of the day, usually between 1 and a half and two hours, although they have been as short as an hour, and as long as, once last week, three hours and 15 minutes. That is an all time Amelia-nap record.
(In the interest of full disclosure, and for the record, I will note that I have been nursing her to sleep at naps. This started post-hospital and it has been so peaceful, so easy, so much better than the 10-20 minutes of pre-nap crying that went on every nap for the 5 weeks we tried not nursing at naps, that I have kept doing it. I know that it could have something to do with the bedtime problem, but... not willing to give it up yet.)
The one thing Amelia is still doing that seems related to hospital anxiety is having these horrible bedtime-related fits. They seem to be related to separation anxiety from me. She was crying a lot a bath time, so I started going into the bathroom with her, and now she cries when she is put in the crib. She can be perfectly happy, snuggling with Dean and reading stories, and then when it is time to actually go to bed, she just cries and cries. It is very stressful, and sad too because bath and bedtime had been such a peaceful and happy daddy-daughter time. But we are just hanging in there because one thing that seems true about raising a child is that nothing lasts, not the stuff you love but, luckily, also not the stuff you hate. It is just endlessly replaced with new stuff to hate--and luckily, new stuff to love.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Almost 15 Months
It's been awhile since I recorded what's going on with Baby A. She is almost 15 months old!
First: teething. I feel like Amelia has been teething constantly since about 13 months. There has been a lot of whining, fussing, and night-waking that I feel is teething related--it is crazy to me that some doctors think that teething does not disrupt babies' sleep. Plus she has had a runny nose with no other cold symptoms for a long time. It is hard to know for sure what is going on, though, because Amelia is very secretive about her mouth. She does not feel that anyone should look in there, ever. However, using tricks, games, flashlights, and all of my zookeeper skills (imagine trying to pry open the mouth of an unwilling alligator), I have confirmed that she is getting new teeth. The 6th and 7th teeth, the two on either side of the bottom front, broke through at about 14 months, and the top right molar broke through soon after. I felt the bottom left molar last night, although I am not sure how long it has been there. And I think she is getting more on both the top and bottom. Really I think this is just one long teething session in which she is getting all of her teeth. I will be glad when they are all in.
On the mobility front, Amelia has left crawling completely behind. She can easily squat and stand back up, and she can walk quickly, a cute little trot. She even started jumping a little bit--mostly just gleeful knee bends, but yesterday she actually cleared the ground. She has been practicing climbing the stairs like a grown-up--as in not on all fours. I have to hold both of her hands and say, "Take a big step!" Then she steps up and says, proudly, "Ooohhh!"
She is saying a few more words: "bear," as in teddy bear, and she will answer the questions of what a dog, a monkey, and cow says with noises similar to those animals. We think she knows "moon," too, and she continues to practice "baby" and "no."
Speaking of "no," she is definitely establishing herself as her own person. She gave me her first mean, defiant look on the plane back from NC. She had been tearing up the Sky Mall, one of her favorite plane activities, and she started putting little wads of the pages in her mouth. At first she was spitting them out, and we were kind of going with it, because it was a long day. (We calculated that we traveled for 14 hours: the NC coast, to RDU, to Philadelphia, to Denver, to the Southwest Baggage office when we couldn't find our bags, to the DEN economy lot, and, finally, home. Our bags made it the next day, one in the afternoon, one in the middle of the night). Anyway, then Amelia stopped spitting out the paper and just held a big wad in her mouth. She wouldn't open her mouth (see above) and kept squirming and shaking her head, so finally I just stuck my finger in there and dug out the paper. She shrieked and broke away from my grasp, grabbed the Sky Mall, ripped out a piece of paper and bit it. As she did all this, she was giving me the kind of angry, rebellious look I would expect from a teenager. It definitely said, I will put this paper in my mouth if I want to.
And it was so, so funny.
I could not stop laughing, and I knew I shouldn't be laughing. But it was so funny! I just haven't seen that kind of autonomy and will from her before. My sweet baby. I know that in the future, I should not laugh at that kind of thing, but I swear, I still laugh just thinking about it. It still amazes me, this little being we created, just keeps growing and growing into her own self.
And, as usual, that little self has woken up from her nap before I wrote all I wanted to write... to be continued.
First: teething. I feel like Amelia has been teething constantly since about 13 months. There has been a lot of whining, fussing, and night-waking that I feel is teething related--it is crazy to me that some doctors think that teething does not disrupt babies' sleep. Plus she has had a runny nose with no other cold symptoms for a long time. It is hard to know for sure what is going on, though, because Amelia is very secretive about her mouth. She does not feel that anyone should look in there, ever. However, using tricks, games, flashlights, and all of my zookeeper skills (imagine trying to pry open the mouth of an unwilling alligator), I have confirmed that she is getting new teeth. The 6th and 7th teeth, the two on either side of the bottom front, broke through at about 14 months, and the top right molar broke through soon after. I felt the bottom left molar last night, although I am not sure how long it has been there. And I think she is getting more on both the top and bottom. Really I think this is just one long teething session in which she is getting all of her teeth. I will be glad when they are all in.
On the mobility front, Amelia has left crawling completely behind. She can easily squat and stand back up, and she can walk quickly, a cute little trot. She even started jumping a little bit--mostly just gleeful knee bends, but yesterday she actually cleared the ground. She has been practicing climbing the stairs like a grown-up--as in not on all fours. I have to hold both of her hands and say, "Take a big step!" Then she steps up and says, proudly, "Ooohhh!"
She is saying a few more words: "bear," as in teddy bear, and she will answer the questions of what a dog, a monkey, and cow says with noises similar to those animals. We think she knows "moon," too, and she continues to practice "baby" and "no."
Speaking of "no," she is definitely establishing herself as her own person. She gave me her first mean, defiant look on the plane back from NC. She had been tearing up the Sky Mall, one of her favorite plane activities, and she started putting little wads of the pages in her mouth. At first she was spitting them out, and we were kind of going with it, because it was a long day. (We calculated that we traveled for 14 hours: the NC coast, to RDU, to Philadelphia, to Denver, to the Southwest Baggage office when we couldn't find our bags, to the DEN economy lot, and, finally, home. Our bags made it the next day, one in the afternoon, one in the middle of the night). Anyway, then Amelia stopped spitting out the paper and just held a big wad in her mouth. She wouldn't open her mouth (see above) and kept squirming and shaking her head, so finally I just stuck my finger in there and dug out the paper. She shrieked and broke away from my grasp, grabbed the Sky Mall, ripped out a piece of paper and bit it. As she did all this, she was giving me the kind of angry, rebellious look I would expect from a teenager. It definitely said, I will put this paper in my mouth if I want to.
And it was so, so funny.
I could not stop laughing, and I knew I shouldn't be laughing. But it was so funny! I just haven't seen that kind of autonomy and will from her before. My sweet baby. I know that in the future, I should not laugh at that kind of thing, but I swear, I still laugh just thinking about it. It still amazes me, this little being we created, just keeps growing and growing into her own self.
And, as usual, that little self has woken up from her nap before I wrote all I wanted to write... to be continued.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
20 Thoughts in 20 Minutes
I am not much in the mood to post lately but if I don't write something soon we will be on our Christmas vacation, so here are 20 random things I have been thinking about. I am giving myself 20 minutes to write it, because Amelia is napping and there is other stuff I want to do.
1. With the simple adjustment of Amelia's bedtime, all of our sleep problems have been solved! Oops, not really. After that one post about the early bedtime, Amelia started waking up, babbling and sounding fairly happy, at 4:45 am or earlier. So we moved the bedtime later. After 4 days, it was still happening, so we moved it back up to the earlier time. Now she's waking between 5:30 and 6.
2. I am so sick of thinking about sleep I could scream. Yet I still really, really want to sleep better.
3. I am confused about weaning. Sometimes Amelia seems to be self-weaning, other times she is a nursing fool.
4. I am disgruntled at the mixed messages I perceive about breastfeeding. When women are pregnant and have very new babies, the message seems to be "breastfeed or else!," a message that is more harmful than helpful. Then once the baby reaches a certain age--maybe 9 months or so--it's "hurry up and wean." Is this just in my own head?
5. Amelia has a new friend who is a hitter. What do you do when your baby hits other babies? And what are you supposed to do when your baby has a temper tantrum?
6. I miss my family. You know who you are. Come visit us.
7. Actually I have been very, very sad that we love so far away from our families. If we lived close to family Dean and I could leave Amelia with people who love her and desperately want to see her while we--gasp--saw a movie or something. What were we thinking?
8. That said there are a lot of things I love about my life here. I have a lot of friends. I love our house. Denver is amazingly interesting and easy to navigate. And
9. despite what you may think after reading my grouchy blog posts lately I am so, so glad that Dean has a job that allows me to stay home with Amelia while she is a baby.
10.* In a perfect life, I would go to a yoga class every day, get a massage every week, and write for 2 hours every morning.
11. I have been writing some. I am taking a "master class" that requires a "manuscript." So I have been reworking my manuscript. It's getting shorter instead of longer.
12. I wrote this series of poems that was 40 words each, 4 words per line for 10 lines. Now I don't like it and I am making the lines twice as long. But some of the poems want to be 5 lines and some want to be 6.
13. It was supposed to snow 6 inches here last night and not a drop. Denver has negative humidity, I swear. But after a week or so of unseasonable warm weather, now it is very cold.
14. Amelia is starting to say "no." Sometimes for no apparent reason. It often sounds more like she is just making the sound for the letter n.
15. Teething, you will be the death of me. I am attributing all of Amelia's weird sleep and fussiness to teething. The upper molars are breaking through at approximately 1/16 of a millimeter per day. Sometimes, out of the blue, poor Amelia starts wailing and gnawing on her fingers. We are making liberal use of Ibuprofen, Baby Orajel, and cold teethers.
16. I am still wearing my pajamas. If you want gift ideas for me, think warm pajamas.
17. Also: warm slippers, the ingredients for margaritas, those wrist warmers that are like gloves without the fingers, and gift certificates for yoga classes and massages. And could you come here and watch Amelia while I go to the yoga classes and get the massages?
18. If you asked me what I wanted to Christmas in the past couple of weeks and I said I didn't know or nothing, sorry. I just thought of that list as I wrote it.
19. I also like Anthropogie gift cards.
20. But what I really want more than anything is for all of our family to come visit us a lot. All of you. Everyone. And if you are Gano, we are serious when we say we want you to live next door.
*In rereading number 10--and the rest of this post, for that matter--it occurred to me that am a very spoiled person. I already have what tons of people would consider a very perfect life. I really do love my life, even if it's not perfect. Winter is making me grouchy. And underneath a lot of these superficial worries are more substantial ones, like how Amelia is going to grow up in a world filled with poison and melting polar ice caps and war and a Congress full of politicians who overuse the phrase "the American people" and can't get anything done. But my 20 minutes are up. So let me just add one more thought:
21.** What I really, really want more than anything is for everyone on earth, to be able to have the space to breathe, to consider the kind of world they would want to leave for the people who will come after them, and to be able to, with love in their hearts and in ways big or small, make the world that kind of place.
**Now I feel like a contestant in a beauty pageant. But it's been over half an hour and the clock is ticking. Peace.
1. With the simple adjustment of Amelia's bedtime, all of our sleep problems have been solved! Oops, not really. After that one post about the early bedtime, Amelia started waking up, babbling and sounding fairly happy, at 4:45 am or earlier. So we moved the bedtime later. After 4 days, it was still happening, so we moved it back up to the earlier time. Now she's waking between 5:30 and 6.
2. I am so sick of thinking about sleep I could scream. Yet I still really, really want to sleep better.
3. I am confused about weaning. Sometimes Amelia seems to be self-weaning, other times she is a nursing fool.
4. I am disgruntled at the mixed messages I perceive about breastfeeding. When women are pregnant and have very new babies, the message seems to be "breastfeed or else!," a message that is more harmful than helpful. Then once the baby reaches a certain age--maybe 9 months or so--it's "hurry up and wean." Is this just in my own head?
5. Amelia has a new friend who is a hitter. What do you do when your baby hits other babies? And what are you supposed to do when your baby has a temper tantrum?
6. I miss my family. You know who you are. Come visit us.
7. Actually I have been very, very sad that we love so far away from our families. If we lived close to family Dean and I could leave Amelia with people who love her and desperately want to see her while we--gasp--saw a movie or something. What were we thinking?
8. That said there are a lot of things I love about my life here. I have a lot of friends. I love our house. Denver is amazingly interesting and easy to navigate. And
9. despite what you may think after reading my grouchy blog posts lately I am so, so glad that Dean has a job that allows me to stay home with Amelia while she is a baby.
10.* In a perfect life, I would go to a yoga class every day, get a massage every week, and write for 2 hours every morning.
11. I have been writing some. I am taking a "master class" that requires a "manuscript." So I have been reworking my manuscript. It's getting shorter instead of longer.
12. I wrote this series of poems that was 40 words each, 4 words per line for 10 lines. Now I don't like it and I am making the lines twice as long. But some of the poems want to be 5 lines and some want to be 6.
13. It was supposed to snow 6 inches here last night and not a drop. Denver has negative humidity, I swear. But after a week or so of unseasonable warm weather, now it is very cold.
14. Amelia is starting to say "no." Sometimes for no apparent reason. It often sounds more like she is just making the sound for the letter n.
15. Teething, you will be the death of me. I am attributing all of Amelia's weird sleep and fussiness to teething. The upper molars are breaking through at approximately 1/16 of a millimeter per day. Sometimes, out of the blue, poor Amelia starts wailing and gnawing on her fingers. We are making liberal use of Ibuprofen, Baby Orajel, and cold teethers.
16. I am still wearing my pajamas. If you want gift ideas for me, think warm pajamas.
17. Also: warm slippers, the ingredients for margaritas, those wrist warmers that are like gloves without the fingers, and gift certificates for yoga classes and massages. And could you come here and watch Amelia while I go to the yoga classes and get the massages?
18. If you asked me what I wanted to Christmas in the past couple of weeks and I said I didn't know or nothing, sorry. I just thought of that list as I wrote it.
19. I also like Anthropogie gift cards.
20. But what I really want more than anything is for all of our family to come visit us a lot. All of you. Everyone. And if you are Gano, we are serious when we say we want you to live next door.
*In rereading number 10--and the rest of this post, for that matter--it occurred to me that am a very spoiled person. I already have what tons of people would consider a very perfect life. I really do love my life, even if it's not perfect. Winter is making me grouchy. And underneath a lot of these superficial worries are more substantial ones, like how Amelia is going to grow up in a world filled with poison and melting polar ice caps and war and a Congress full of politicians who overuse the phrase "the American people" and can't get anything done. But my 20 minutes are up. So let me just add one more thought:
21.** What I really, really want more than anything is for everyone on earth, to be able to have the space to breathe, to consider the kind of world they would want to leave for the people who will come after them, and to be able to, with love in their hearts and in ways big or small, make the world that kind of place.
**Now I feel like a contestant in a beauty pageant. But it's been over half an hour and the clock is ticking. Peace.
Friday, December 3, 2010
For the Record
There are a couple of things I wanted to record in yesterday's post, but as we know, I was interrupted. If I don't write this stuff down I forget it within two weeks.
First: teething. Yesterday I was going to write that Amelia seemed to be getting her molars but this morning we discovered that the one on the left side has almost broken through! Finally. She has been gnawing on things on that side and drooling like crazy. Now for the other side. Then, totally unexpectedly, while we were reading our pre-nap stories, I noticed that not one but both of the two bottom front teeth are coming through also! (These are the two on either side of the two very front teeth, which she already has.) So that is three new teeth at the same time. Maybe that has something to do with her disrupted sleep?
(Note: if you are Dean and you happen to be reading this, normally I would call you at work to inform you of this breaking news, but Amelia and I have plans to show you her new teeth when you get home. Try to look surprised.)
Second: naps. It has been a long time since I complained about naps and I wanted to record the progression what what has happened. If you recall, Amelia was moving from two naps to one and her doctor had suggested that I keep her up till 1:00, saying that if she napped in the morning I should wake her up after half an hour. I tried that once and let me say that it goes against every fiber in my mother being to wake a sleeping baby from a nap. But I did it and Amelia was sleepy again by noon. However we had unusual circumstances that afternoon and she ended up falling asleep in her stroller. In my second stupid move of that day, I tried to pick her up from the stroller and move her to her crib. It didn't work and that was the end of the waking-the-baby-from-a-nap experiment.
My next idea was to keep her up until 1:00. The problem with that is that she would wake up still crying and very tired in an hour or less. So I tried leaving her in the crib to see if she would go back to sleep. She would not. After that, I decided to forget the whole thing and let her sleep as long as she wanted whenever. For about two weeks she would go down anytime between 9 and 11:30 but then sleep for at least an hour and a half, sometimes nearly 2 hours. And this past week or so, she has been pretty consistently going down at 11:30 and sleeping for almost 2 hours.
So we have once again hit a predictable pattern, which makes everyone happy, mainly me. It's just so hard to plan anything when you have no idea when the baby will need to nap. With this pattern I know that if need be we can have a short outing in the morning and a longer one in the afternoon. The only sad thing is that most of Amelia's friends are still taking two naps so she is basically asleep when they are awake and vice versa. The other moms are very concerned that the two nap thing will end but actually, I prefer the one longer nap. Amelia's second nap was always unpredictable anyway. This way we actually get out of the house a bit more.
Anyway I am sure this new pattern will last only as long as it takes me to really start getting used to it--here's hoping that this riveting information about Amelia's naps and teeth have enriched your Friday. I am off to read.
First: teething. Yesterday I was going to write that Amelia seemed to be getting her molars but this morning we discovered that the one on the left side has almost broken through! Finally. She has been gnawing on things on that side and drooling like crazy. Now for the other side. Then, totally unexpectedly, while we were reading our pre-nap stories, I noticed that not one but both of the two bottom front teeth are coming through also! (These are the two on either side of the two very front teeth, which she already has.) So that is three new teeth at the same time. Maybe that has something to do with her disrupted sleep?
(Note: if you are Dean and you happen to be reading this, normally I would call you at work to inform you of this breaking news, but Amelia and I have plans to show you her new teeth when you get home. Try to look surprised.)
Second: naps. It has been a long time since I complained about naps and I wanted to record the progression what what has happened. If you recall, Amelia was moving from two naps to one and her doctor had suggested that I keep her up till 1:00, saying that if she napped in the morning I should wake her up after half an hour. I tried that once and let me say that it goes against every fiber in my mother being to wake a sleeping baby from a nap. But I did it and Amelia was sleepy again by noon. However we had unusual circumstances that afternoon and she ended up falling asleep in her stroller. In my second stupid move of that day, I tried to pick her up from the stroller and move her to her crib. It didn't work and that was the end of the waking-the-baby-from-a-nap experiment.
My next idea was to keep her up until 1:00. The problem with that is that she would wake up still crying and very tired in an hour or less. So I tried leaving her in the crib to see if she would go back to sleep. She would not. After that, I decided to forget the whole thing and let her sleep as long as she wanted whenever. For about two weeks she would go down anytime between 9 and 11:30 but then sleep for at least an hour and a half, sometimes nearly 2 hours. And this past week or so, she has been pretty consistently going down at 11:30 and sleeping for almost 2 hours.
So we have once again hit a predictable pattern, which makes everyone happy, mainly me. It's just so hard to plan anything when you have no idea when the baby will need to nap. With this pattern I know that if need be we can have a short outing in the morning and a longer one in the afternoon. The only sad thing is that most of Amelia's friends are still taking two naps so she is basically asleep when they are awake and vice versa. The other moms are very concerned that the two nap thing will end but actually, I prefer the one longer nap. Amelia's second nap was always unpredictable anyway. This way we actually get out of the house a bit more.
Anyway I am sure this new pattern will last only as long as it takes me to really start getting used to it--here's hoping that this riveting information about Amelia's naps and teeth have enriched your Friday. I am off to read.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Home in Denver
About a week after the move, we traveled to NC for a (beautiful) wedding, which was at Dean's parents' house, then Amelia and I stayed with my parents for several days. At both places, Amelia basked in her grandparents' undying love. Last Friday, A and I flew home. Traveling alone with her was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be.
We flew from Charlotte through Houston on the way home, and we flew, I think, over the oil spill. I looked down--which I rarely do in a plane--and couldn't tell if we were over land or water. What was below was brownish, like bare dirty land, but there were tiny specks that seemed to be leaving a wake as in water. After a few minutes the brown gradually gave way to blue. So sad. I have been trying to think of ways we can further decrease our oil consumption.
We spent most of the weekend trying to get our house into order. It is still not finished. I finally took my clothes out of boxes yesterday but now I simply have clothes strewn about the bedroom. The golden age of Amelia sitting and playing with things has mostly passed; she wants to be held or to hold your fingers and pull herself to standing or for you to sit with her and watch her practice crawling. All of which I am happy to do. I just can't get anything else done.
We have fallen into the beginnings of a pleasant little weekday routine. Wake up, breakfast, go to the park, nap, playtime, lunch, more playtime or an outing, nap again, play and snack, a dip in the baby pool, and another nap in the stroller just before Dean comes home. During Amelia's morning nap I have been writing and during the afternoon nap, reading. We've been twice to "Book Babies" at a nearby library and I've met two moms, one at Book Babies and one at the park. Plus our across-the-ally neighbors, who have a 15-month old.
I love our neighborhood. The houses are beautiful, old and colorful. They are pink and yellow and green and blue and purple; one is painted like a rainbow, one is painted like the night sky, complete with stars and a crescent moon. There are all kind of people walking around: old hippies and young hippies and people who look like 80's punk rockers with pierced lips and people pushing strollers and people with sagging pants and teenagers in bathing suits and children in small packs and people wearing suits and ties. Within 3-6 blocks of our house we have a park, a rec center with a pool, 4 or 5 bookstores, 2 or 3 vintage furniture shops, a cool clothing store where I got a beautiful purple skirt, a Goodwill and several other thrift stores, and so many restaurants--sushi, Thai, pizza, coffee shops, brew pubs, breakfast. And, I just found out, a delicious ice cream shop.
In Amelia news: teething. An upper left tooth has come in. I think it is a canine tooth. The right one is working its way out as we speak. It's funny because the upper front teeth (the incisors) aren't in yet. Just call her fang.
Fang is waking up. Gotta go--pictures are coming soon!
We flew from Charlotte through Houston on the way home, and we flew, I think, over the oil spill. I looked down--which I rarely do in a plane--and couldn't tell if we were over land or water. What was below was brownish, like bare dirty land, but there were tiny specks that seemed to be leaving a wake as in water. After a few minutes the brown gradually gave way to blue. So sad. I have been trying to think of ways we can further decrease our oil consumption.
We spent most of the weekend trying to get our house into order. It is still not finished. I finally took my clothes out of boxes yesterday but now I simply have clothes strewn about the bedroom. The golden age of Amelia sitting and playing with things has mostly passed; she wants to be held or to hold your fingers and pull herself to standing or for you to sit with her and watch her practice crawling. All of which I am happy to do. I just can't get anything else done.
We have fallen into the beginnings of a pleasant little weekday routine. Wake up, breakfast, go to the park, nap, playtime, lunch, more playtime or an outing, nap again, play and snack, a dip in the baby pool, and another nap in the stroller just before Dean comes home. During Amelia's morning nap I have been writing and during the afternoon nap, reading. We've been twice to "Book Babies" at a nearby library and I've met two moms, one at Book Babies and one at the park. Plus our across-the-ally neighbors, who have a 15-month old.
I love our neighborhood. The houses are beautiful, old and colorful. They are pink and yellow and green and blue and purple; one is painted like a rainbow, one is painted like the night sky, complete with stars and a crescent moon. There are all kind of people walking around: old hippies and young hippies and people who look like 80's punk rockers with pierced lips and people pushing strollers and people with sagging pants and teenagers in bathing suits and children in small packs and people wearing suits and ties. Within 3-6 blocks of our house we have a park, a rec center with a pool, 4 or 5 bookstores, 2 or 3 vintage furniture shops, a cool clothing store where I got a beautiful purple skirt, a Goodwill and several other thrift stores, and so many restaurants--sushi, Thai, pizza, coffee shops, brew pubs, breakfast. And, I just found out, a delicious ice cream shop.
In Amelia news: teething. An upper left tooth has come in. I think it is a canine tooth. The right one is working its way out as we speak. It's funny because the upper front teeth (the incisors) aren't in yet. Just call her fang.
Fang is waking up. Gotta go--pictures are coming soon!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Hungry Hippo
Amelia loves her new high chair and she suddenly LOVES eating solids. This weekend she had zucchini, red peppers, mushrooms, and tofu from fajitas Dean and I made, and the veggies were seasoned with cayenne pepper and cumin! She also sampled small pieces of cucumber, strawberries, broccoli, and pears. Her pincer grasp is coming along nicely.
If you look closely in the first picture, you can see her two little teeth.
If you look closely in the first picture, you can see her two little teeth.
Friday, May 7, 2010
News
I shared this blog with someone new today and spent some time fondly rereading old posts. Oh, blog, how I've missed you. I kind of doubt anyone actually reads this blog anymore, since I never post on it, but I really haven't had time to breathe, much less write. I am hoping once we get settled in Denver things will be calmer.
Oh yeah--so we are moving to Denver. !!! We have know for about a month but as I typed that last sentence I realized I hadn't posted about it. Dean will be leaving the DC Public Defender to be a Federal Public Defender. I will be leaving UMD to be a Mother And Homemaker. I am very excited about this career change. Actually I will most likely look for a teaching job for next year, as in fall of 2011, but when Dean and I discussed this move I did not want to try to move AND look for a job AND wrap up this semester AND be a mother. I would feel scared to try to set up child care for A so soon after we moved anyway, and I didn't think I should try to talk our mothers into traveling to CO once a month. As much as I would love it if they wanted to... hint hint.
My feeling about the move are complex. I am very happy in many ways, including because of how happy Dean is. While he loves his current job, he is excited to try something new, and it is no secret that he loves The West, Colorado, and Mountains. We are both happy because we can actually afford to buy a house in Denver, and we have found a beautiful one, although I will save posting about it for later since things are not completely finalized yet. And I love Denver as a city. It has one zillion parks and those crazy, funny mountains as a backdrop. They make me giggle every time I see them because they just don't look real. Denver has a lot of the features we love about DC, such as fun things for kids to do. It is pretty walkable, especially where we will live (we hope), and there are so many great restaurants! So I am excited to move to such a neat new place. As an old friend of mine noted, it seems like what Dean and I do is move every couple of years, and we are ready to go.
But, it is also no secret that I had hoped to be able to raise Amelia closer to our families, particularly my mother. So moving so far away is also a Great Sadness. It is something I am trying to sit with for now. We do plan to visit often. My new job will be pretty flexible as far as travel. In fact we are going to NC less than two weeks after we move. And I am partly sad to leave DC as well, particularly the very few close friends I have here.
On the other hand, one of the duties of my new job will be visiting the previously mentioned one zillion parks, where I plan to stalk other mothers with babies until I find some to be my friends. And in fact we ARE moving closer to family: we will be only about two and a half hours from Dean's brother Jes, his partner Kim (turns out Kim is a great name for Luli's sons' partners) and their new baby-to-be Ezekial, who is Coming To Theaters Near Us in early August! So baby Dixie will get to be around her new cousin a lot, which is super exciting.
Overall, though, I feel good and hopeful about the move.
In any case, this is not what I sat down to write about.
Amelia has two teeth, the two bottom middle ones. Teething has been difficult, but nothing too terrible. She became much more interested in solids almost the exact day her first tooth came in. Since then, she has been practicing her pincer grasp, so I am going to TRY to post a video that shows off her new skill. It also features her Excited Yell and her Marge Simpson Grunt. Sorry for the shakiness; I was the Filmmaker and the Banana Puff Dispenser.
I'm enjoying the use of unconventional capitalization in this post.
And now, off to use the rest of A's nap to get dressed; it's 11:30 am and I still have on my pajamas.
Oh yeah--so we are moving to Denver. !!! We have know for about a month but as I typed that last sentence I realized I hadn't posted about it. Dean will be leaving the DC Public Defender to be a Federal Public Defender. I will be leaving UMD to be a Mother And Homemaker. I am very excited about this career change. Actually I will most likely look for a teaching job for next year, as in fall of 2011, but when Dean and I discussed this move I did not want to try to move AND look for a job AND wrap up this semester AND be a mother. I would feel scared to try to set up child care for A so soon after we moved anyway, and I didn't think I should try to talk our mothers into traveling to CO once a month. As much as I would love it if they wanted to... hint hint.
My feeling about the move are complex. I am very happy in many ways, including because of how happy Dean is. While he loves his current job, he is excited to try something new, and it is no secret that he loves The West, Colorado, and Mountains. We are both happy because we can actually afford to buy a house in Denver, and we have found a beautiful one, although I will save posting about it for later since things are not completely finalized yet. And I love Denver as a city. It has one zillion parks and those crazy, funny mountains as a backdrop. They make me giggle every time I see them because they just don't look real. Denver has a lot of the features we love about DC, such as fun things for kids to do. It is pretty walkable, especially where we will live (we hope), and there are so many great restaurants! So I am excited to move to such a neat new place. As an old friend of mine noted, it seems like what Dean and I do is move every couple of years, and we are ready to go.
But, it is also no secret that I had hoped to be able to raise Amelia closer to our families, particularly my mother. So moving so far away is also a Great Sadness. It is something I am trying to sit with for now. We do plan to visit often. My new job will be pretty flexible as far as travel. In fact we are going to NC less than two weeks after we move. And I am partly sad to leave DC as well, particularly the very few close friends I have here.
On the other hand, one of the duties of my new job will be visiting the previously mentioned one zillion parks, where I plan to stalk other mothers with babies until I find some to be my friends. And in fact we ARE moving closer to family: we will be only about two and a half hours from Dean's brother Jes, his partner Kim (turns out Kim is a great name for Luli's sons' partners) and their new baby-to-be Ezekial, who is Coming To Theaters Near Us in early August! So baby Dixie will get to be around her new cousin a lot, which is super exciting.
Overall, though, I feel good and hopeful about the move.
In any case, this is not what I sat down to write about.
Amelia has two teeth, the two bottom middle ones. Teething has been difficult, but nothing too terrible. She became much more interested in solids almost the exact day her first tooth came in. Since then, she has been practicing her pincer grasp, so I am going to TRY to post a video that shows off her new skill. It also features her Excited Yell and her Marge Simpson Grunt. Sorry for the shakiness; I was the Filmmaker and the Banana Puff Dispenser.
I'm enjoying the use of unconventional capitalization in this post.
And now, off to use the rest of A's nap to get dressed; it's 11:30 am and I still have on my pajamas.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Tally
Number of minutes I am giving myself to write this post: 5
Number of papers I have graded in the past 5 days: 37
Number of hours I have spent on airplanes in the past 2 weeks: 11
Number of take-offs I have had to endure: 5
Number of minutes baby A cried on said planes: surprisingly, probably only about 45-60
Number of teeth Amelia now has: 2!
Number of houses Dean and I have bought: 1!
Number of blog posts I have written in my head: many
Number of days left to teach: 3
How much I am looking forward to the end of the semester: very, VERY much
I promise updates as soon as I am not swamped with teaching, a teething baby, and uprooting life changes.
Number of papers I have graded in the past 5 days: 37
Number of hours I have spent on airplanes in the past 2 weeks: 11
Number of take-offs I have had to endure: 5
Number of minutes baby A cried on said planes: surprisingly, probably only about 45-60
Number of teeth Amelia now has: 2!
Number of houses Dean and I have bought: 1!
Number of blog posts I have written in my head: many
Number of days left to teach: 3
How much I am looking forward to the end of the semester: very, VERY much
I promise updates as soon as I am not swamped with teaching, a teething baby, and uprooting life changes.
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