Nonticketed Lap Child: Tips for Traveling with Someone Under Two

Since Amelia and I just completed our one millionth airplane trip together, I thought I would share what I have learned about entertaining a toddler on a planes.

1. New, new, new
Probably the most important thing I've learned about traveling with Amelia is to bring a wide variety of things to play with, and to bring as many "new" things along as I can. These things don't have to be brand new--although I sometimes do buy one or two things to take along--just things she hasn't seen in awhile. About a week before we travel, I look over her toys for anything that might be plane-appropriate (see below) and stash it away in her closet. Then I can pack it, and when I reintroduce it on the plane, it's a little surprise! Another way to get "new" things without spending money is to borrow toys from friends. Ask fellow parents if they have any plane-appropriate toys you can take on your trip. Some of the best toys we've traveled with have been toys of Amelia's friends.

2. Dole It Out
Once you've chosen what to bring and packed your bag, be the bag-master. A and I usually travel alone, so we just have a single bag. If I let her see the bag she'd be done with it in 10 minutes, so as we travel, I bring out one toy or activity at a time. I try to think ahead about the best times to do so. For example, if the flight attendant is about to bring drinks, I wait until after that to offer a new activity, because we've learned that ice in a cup is a fine plane toy. (In fact, when Amelia sees the flight attendants, she starts saying "Rice! Rice!")

3. Plane-Appropriate
What are the best toys for the plane? A lot of it depends on the child's age, but here are a few things I've learned. Anything too big is out, for obvious reasons, as is anything too messy. Keep in mind that no matter what you do, a lot of what you bring is going to end up on the floor. Will it be fairly easy to retrieve? Balls and things that roll away too easily are probably best avoided. Also avoid toys that make extremely loud noises--see below re not being annoying. No one wants to sit near a baby and Talking Elmo. Books are good, if they're not too heavy or bulky, but if I bring books I try to make sure they are ones Amelia likes--otherwise they are a waste of space.

Before a trip, I always try to think about what most entertains Amelia at that stage in her life and figure out how to best replicate that on the plane. So when she was under 6 months, her main airplane "entertainment" was nursing, being walked up and down the aisle, and, during one memorable trip, being whisked from my arms by a well-meaning flight attendant. But by 9 or 10 months, I could just bring a bag of stuff she'd never seen before--measuring cups, ribbons, My Little Ponies, whatever, and that worked pretty well. For this last trip, we let her bring crayons for the first time, since she is finally not just eating them, and they entertained her for awhile. (But they do roll away pretty easily). As with anything child-related, what will work best for you is probably unique to your child.

4. Top Toys So Far
That said, we have had some luck with particular toys. As I mentioned above, books can be good. Amelia likes any kind of picture dictionary type book, peek-a-boo books, and touch and feel books. One of her favorites has been a foam puzzle book loaned to us by a friend. It is lighter and more manageable than a real puzzle, and it took up at least an hour (in various 15-minute increments) on the trip we took before this last one.

She also likes flash cards, and we can take a lot of time handing her 3 or 4 cards, one at a time, and then getting her to hand them back. Stickers have worked well for us for awhile. You can stick them on each other, all 10 fingers, your boarding pass, every dog you can find in the Sky Mall book, and if you are desperate, your tray table. Another friend of ours recommended painter's tape--same idea. And still another friend loaned us a doodle board sort of like this one--Amelia had a great time scribbling and making the picture "all gone."

As I mentioned above, art activities might work, if they are not too rolly or messy. I am looking forward to when a coloring book and crayons might actually entertain Amelia. This time, we brought crayons in a fold-up pouch like this one (photos at the bottoms on the page). I did not make ours; it was a gift from Aunt Susan at Christmas (thank you Susan!). Amelia had more fun taking the crayons in and out of the pockets than actually coloring, but whatever. We also took these markers that only write on special paper. We learned that they do in fact leave an odd, wet-looking mark on airplane tray tables, but that comes off easily with a baby wipe. (Another random tip: bring a lot of baby wipes.) Amelia again had a better time putting the lids of the markers on her fingers than coloring, but again, oh well.

I thought I would wrap up the toy section by giving an example of what I meant by trying to replicate on planes what entertains Amelia in general. I bought two new things for the trip home from NC: toys rings and a bag of small farm animals. Both of these I found at a random NC drugstore for under $5. Since Amelia had such putting marker lids on her fingers on the way to NC, I thought she would enjoy the rings. And at her Luli and Guru's house, Amelia had a great time playing with dollhouse furniture and a bucket of seashells. I thought the farm animals were kind of similar. Both of these toys worked very well on the plane--but they wouldn't have a couple of months ago, when they would have gone straight in the mouth.

5. Snacks, snacks, and more snacks.
In my opinion, one of the most important things you can bring on the plane is food, for yourself and your child. Bring stuff you know you both like. Don't be too concerned about being healthy. Amelia's current favorites are salty snacks, so I brought Ziplocks of pretzels, crackers, Veggie Straws, etc. As with toys, it helps to have a lot of different options you can dole out as needed. My own favorites are Luna bars and the Veggie Straws. To simplify things during security, I usually don't bring babyfood (although Amelia is currently obsessed with those squeezey applesauce things, so this time it might have been worth it). I do bring an empty sippy cup I can fill along the way, after security.


6. On Sleep
My experience is that sleep during air travel is pretty hit or miss. Amelia used to nurse herself to sleep, and on this trip her biggest fit was on the way there, crying for "mik." (That was actually the last time she cried for milk, too.) On the way back, she let me rock her to sleep, to the extent that you can rock someone to sleep in an airplane seat, and sing to her. But she never sleeps long. Invariably a flight attendant will park the drink cart right next to us, or the pilot will make an announcement, or I will have to move my arm or leg, and she will wake up. So I try to save sleep for when I know she is really tired and we will be sitting still for awhile. And hope for the best.

7. On Not Being (Too) Annoying
When I first started traveling with Amelia, what I hated most was worrying about annoying other people. Now I am not nearly as concerned about them, but there are a few things I try to keep in mind. I try not to bring anything too loud along, as I mentioned above, and I try not to let her engage in truly intrusive behavior, like repeatedly kicking the back of the seat. If the behavior is borderline--Amelia loves to stand up and play peek-a-boo with the people in the sear behind us--I try to feel out the fellow travelers. Sometimes you get lucky and sit near a grandparent. (Actually that is my number one tip--try to sit near a grandparent.) But, annoyance-wise, there are some things you can't do anything about. If Amelia has a fit, I just try to stay calm. And if someone is being annoyed for no real reason, like the man who turned around and glared at us when Amelia was singing to herself, I just glare back at them.

8. Emergency Stash
Take something you know will distract your child if all else fails and save it for an emergency. We brought out a bag of M&M's 15 minutes before landing in NC, when Amelia was exhausted and just wanted to be free, and it saved the day.

9. Take Care of Yourself
For me, this means drink water. Bring chapstick and lotion. Take a bathroom break. Eat something.

10. On Having Fun
As long-time readers of this blog may know, I am not a natural traveler. But I try to remember that traveling can be fun. Especially when Dean and I travel together, we try to make it a nice day, taking turns reading and entertaining Amelia. Even when I am by myself, I often buy a People magazine or something I wouldn't normally buy to read while Amelia sleeps. And if there a layover that is long enough, I have a mojito, a drink I am pretty sure I have only ever tried in airports.

I hope these tips are helpful. If anyone has something to add, please leave a comment! And happy travels!