Wild and crazy artists

What I've been up to

 http://www.poetsguidetomotherhood.com/2013/05/three-years-seven-months-and-twenty-one.html

What Amelia's been up to

Gingerbread Friends

I read to Amelia's class Friday afternoon. We chose the book Gingerbread Friends.

We made gingerbread cookies Thursday morning to take in. I used this recipe that substitutes honey for molasses. The cookies turned out really well. They were firm but chewy, with a spicy/honey/even slightly salty taste that was yummy. I was very proud because historically, I am not a great baker. I guess having so much "help" helps. (We had to vacuum twice during the cookie making process.)

Below are some pictures of us before school Friday morning. Amelia still loves her read Christmas dress and will wear it every chance she gets.

She took this picture of Caillou all by herself. Below are our hands. We draw pictures on each other's hands before school so we can think about each other all day. This makes Amelia very happy and gets me a lot of interesting looks and questions.

What we like

I've been thinking it'd be fun to record a list of things Amelia especially likes these days. And I thought I'd throw in a short list of my own, too.

Amelia likes:

-Lalaloopsy girls (the small ones). She has five and plays with them every night after we tuck her in. She tucks them in their little bed she made out of a Barbie-sized bookshelf. They are cute but unfortunately came with tiny pieces that are impossible to keep up with. We spend a good 30 minutes a day trying to locate a tiny striped zebra or something similar.

-Caillou. She watches every day while she eats breakfast.

-Her current favorite foods:
lemonade (a long time favorite. I mix about an ounce of lemonade with 6-7 ounces of water.)
lemon yogurt
lemons in general (the other day she carried around a bowlfull of lemon slices, licking them occasionally)
rice (her all time favorite food)
cucumbers
red peppers cut into long strips
carrots
ham and turkey, deli-sliced
peanut butter out of the jar

-Current favorite books:
Corduroy, except she doesn't want Lisa to take Corduroy home at the end
The Gruffalo
The Mitten

-Singing--she likes to make up her own songs and singing Music Class songs

-Doing things by herself--and she recently learned to zip her own coat! She is working on buttons and writing the letters of her name. She also loves to "help" me make breakfast every day and is learning both to crack eggs and to retrieve tiny pieces of eggshell from a bowl of cracked eggs.

I like:
hazlenut half and half
yogadownload.com
huluplus
chocolate almond butter
the scents lavendar, vanilla, and orange
the feeling after a morning spent writing

The Singing Elf

 Last night was Amelia's first school performance. Her school practiced songs and dances for several weeks. Amelia missed over one full week of school, but went back yesterday and came home very excited to go to the performance. It was held past her bedtime but we rallied through. I found a new dress on sale yesterday and decided to get it. She loved it. She said she was an elf  ("Are elfs red?"). She wanted to get dressed right away and added the blue party hat above (hard to see because of the blue pillow).

Half of the performance was songs and half was dancing. Above, Amelia as a worried-looking elf, and at the top, a video of some of the songs. Below, the snowflake dancers.

 Amelia told me she already sat on Santa's lap and didn't want to do it again. She watched.

In the second video, part of the snowflake dance. The music didn't work so they had to improvise. I am not sure these videos are working yet, but I will try to fix them. We had fun. It was sweet to see our little baby singing and dancing. Not so much our "baby" anymore.

Snapshots of a three-year-old

I just realized we've hardly taken any pictures of Amelia since she turned three! I am going to try to take some today.

We're very busy these days. Also, I have become better at living in the moment. This results in more peace overall but also a dirty house and an un-updated blog. I almost decided to shut this whole blog down, replacing it with a photo website of some kind. There are a few other writing projects I have been trying to focus on, and I felt bad about how little I write here.

But I decided not to. For one thing, as much as I admire people who record a sentence a day or a photo of their child a day,  this is the only place I have consistently recorded Amelia's life. It would be sad to end it.

Plus, in retrospect, I suppose the silence will be telling. There is a book I found in a used bookstore in DC (Amelia in her Ergo carrier) called "The Seven Stages of Motherhood." I like its personal stories and the way it presents motherhood as a knowable path. The chapter on mothering a preschooler (age 3-5) is called "Trying to Do It All."

That sums things up pretty well. Since Amelia started school, I have had more time to fill, and sometimes I try to fill it with EVERYTHING: cleaning, cooking, yoga, writing, shopping, errands. Yet Amelia is only in school a few days a week, and I also started a teaching job. (!) I haven't written about it here, but it started back in the fall. Officially, I am a "Young Writers Outreach Instructor" for Denver's Lighthouse Writers. It's an amazing job--basically I am a visiting writer going into schools to teach craft--and it fell into my lap with absolutely no work on my part (other than the fact that I joined Lighthouse Writers, the best writers' group ever). I took a session teaching 9th and 10th graders for 3 days a week in the fall, and then took another 7-week session of pretty much the same gig. I also taught a 6-week course back in the spring and worked for a week at their Summer Writing Camp. I love being a "writer in the schools"--it has been a dream of mine to teach writing as a visiting writer since I was a high school teacher. I love the job.

At the same time, the job has created some stress. For one thing, the teaching ends midday, around the time the half day program for Amelia's school ends. Amelia's teacher said I could pick her up late, but in the meantime, Amelia began--drumroll--NAPPING AT SCHOOL. So I usually pick her up around 2 or 3, after the kids wake up, have a snack, and go outside to play. It's cute to come pick her up and see "all the friends" in their coats and hats and sunglasses (required) playing. One day they were barking like puppies and I could hear them a block away. Still, it's more school than I had planned for Amelia this year.

Also, teaching always ends up taking time away from writing. During my first fall teaching session, I hardly wrote my own stuff at all. For this second session, I started out with a stricter schedule for myself, and I was doing well with it--for one week. The second week of the session, Amelia got the flu (EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT A FLU SHOT). So I stayed home to be with her. I am very thankful I have the kind of life that allows me to stop everything to be with my baby when she needs me, so this is not meant to be a complaint, but it does seem like every time I get on a roll with writing, something happens--we go on a trip, someone gets sick, etc.

On the other hand, after three years of motherhood, I've learned that "all things pass." So I will get back on the roll again soon. This week, I am just glad for a healthy child. And the fact that I don't have the flu.

Anyway, here are some "snaphots" of our three-year-old. Real snapshots to come later today!

Amelia visits Santa: She was annoyed that she had to wait in line. She was the only kid not dressed up in fancy Christmas clothes. Between kids, the elves furtively shielded Santa while he used hand sanitizer. When it was her turn, Amelia said she was "nervous" and I told her she didn't have to see Santa, but she bolstered her courage, sat in his lap, and asked for a robot. He kept prompting her "what else?," which I thought was unnecessary. Just a robot, Santa!

Amelia and the "scary room:" A couple of weeks ago, I woke up around 11 pm to Amelia calling me into her room. She said "something's scary!" and pointed vaguely to the corner of her room. I held her hand while she fell asleep again, but she woke up 3 more times that night. According to The Happiest Toddler on the Block, a book I cannot recommend enough, it's normal for kids develop fears around this age. Using the ideas in the book, I rallied the next day, and we rearranged Amelia's room. It did sort of look scary in the corner: the combination of the nightlight in the corner plus a bookshelf that has a tree branch on it made strange shadows, plus we had her humidifier over there, emitting a spooky mist. So I moved all that around and put her night light right beside her bed. Also, we gave her a flashlight and made some special spray (water and lavender oil) to spray at scary things. And, we remover her bed rail and told her she could get out of bed and turn on her light if she wanted to see her room.

This marks the major parenting victory of my life so far: all this worked! Amelia loved having her night light closer, being a "big girl" with no bed rail, and getting out of bed to turn on her light. The first night at bedtime, we heard her light turn on and off about 10 times. In the meantime, to tempt her back into her own bed after 4-5 days of sleeping with Mama while being sick, we put Christmas lights up beside her bed. The first night those were up, she played in her bed for over an hour and a half before finally dropping off to sleep.

What else? I can't think of the other stories I wanted to tell, so here are a few fun facts. Amelia can spell her name and I think she can spell "Daddy" (she and Dean play with foam bathtub letters in the bath a lot). She can count up to 30 or so sometimes--I have heard her do it, but other times she refuses or does it wrong as a joke. She knows the sounds for most of the letters (I made up a song with letter sounds one day in desperation, trying to lull her to sleep, and it took). She loves the "Jennifer stories" I tell her sometimes to distract her while brushing her hair or the like--Jennifer is a girl just Amelia's age, again made up by me in desperation one day--I was trying to use Jennifer as an example of something, like a little story with a moral--"Jennifer didn't want her Mama to brush her hair, but her hair got so tangled she had to cut it all off!" But it turns out Amelia LOVES stories where Jennifer is "naughty:" Jennifer squeezes all of toothpaste out of the tube, refuses to share with her baby brother, dumps her food on the floor, much to Amelia's delight. I am not sure what this means, but in any case, Amelia loves stories and songs. She sometimes even makes up her own stories and songs, something I should try harder to get on tape.

I am sure there is a lot I am missing, but that's a peek into life here lately. Check back later for some real "snapshots" of Amelia!

The Candy Fairy

Letter to my daughter

Dear Amelia,

For your first two birthdays, I wrote you a letter on your birthday. They began, "Today you are one," and the next year, "Today, you are two."

12 days ago, you turned three.

This year, you have taught me about time. Time is funny--as the saying goes, the days are long but the years are short. Sometimes, when you were two, the days did seem long. But now that your second year is over, it seems to have passed in a flash.

I already miss your two-year-old self, and you are already changing into a three-year-old. You say amazingly smart, knowledgeable things. You are, shall we say, a little bossy, and sometimes even outright defiant. Your brain seems to go a million miles a minute. You are changing into a wonderful, brilliant, hilarious little kid, almost before our eyes.

Looking back, though, I think I did my best to savor the time you were two. Here is what you taught me about time. You were so much fun that I finally learned to stop, really stop, everything else to play with you--as you learned to play pretend, and do crafts, and do puzzles, and make up your own games with dolls and "small things" and books and a million kitchen utensils. I (again, finally) learned that you can only get so much done in a day, and to let the rest (mainly the housework) go. (It's true! Our house is really pretty dirty. I am proud.) I learned that a good day does not and never will include marking everything off of my to-do list.

Still, I am a little sad about how few blog posts I wrote while you were two. I know some happy moments and some milestones and many, many funny things you said have slipped away unrecorded. But I also know that while they were happening, I was present for them. I'll never be perfect at living in the moment, but this year, with my funny, sweet, fun-loving, fascinating two year old, I think I got a lot better.

Looking back over the past year, I especially remember all the fun times we spent with friends and family. One day in particular stands out--on a lovely spring day, we were at the Botanic Gardens with our friends Sarah and Navi, and you and Navi were busy being two, making a huge mess of our lunch, bringing tiny rocks to the picnic blanket, talking and negotiating with each other, and alternately climbing on your Mamas like baby koalas and running so far from the picnic blanket that it made me and Sarah nervous. And I thought how much I loved having a toddler, and how insanely lucky I was to be able to spend the days with you doing such wonderful things. You have given me countless similarly beautiful days--thank you.

Amelia, you are a joyful girl, especially when there is "something new." The year you were two was the year you learned about Halloween, about balloons, about birthday parties, about amusement park rides, about packages in the mail. "I'm exciting!" you said when you were excited, and you were excited about so much, including your first day of preschool. As I picked you up the first day, the phone rang in the school, and I could hear you exclaiming with delight, "All the kids said, THAT SCARED ME!" You are delighted in the world, and I hope that never changes. And you have given me more joy than I ever could have imagined. I love you, whatever age you are, and I always will.

Love,

Your Mama

For the fan club

Birthday cards, presents, and Halloween costumes! 

And for the true fans, 40 seconds of a sleeping baby at the end.

401

This is my 401st post on QuestionAir. What better way to celebrate than with an old-fashioned Random Update?

The sweet

Amelia is a sweetheart. She loves to sing. She has been watching short nursery rhyme videos on the ipad (look for "Mother Goose Club" or "Snap Smart Kids" on YouTube) while I clean up in the mornings, and it is one of her favorite things to do. She has not liked TV much in the past so it is a relief to have found something that will entertain her for 10 or 15 minutes.

She will sing along to the videos and sing them by herself while she is playing, but she also likes to makes up her own nonsense words to the tune of the rhymes. She makes herself (and me and Dean) laugh and laugh doing this. I will try to post a video soon.

In other playtime news, she very much likes her baby dolls. She will rock them, sing to them, feed them, and also make them whine and then try to figure out what's wrong with them. I wonder where she got that from? It actually brings us around to

The not-so-sweet

We have had our fair share of whining and bratty two-year-old behavior these days. The worst is mysterious whining early in the morning. Amelia will go from happy and sunny to a big toddler mess in a fraction of the second. I can usually discern reasons for the bad moments--teething or hunger or tiredness, for example. I feel like I have been blaming the whining on Amelia's two-year molars for about two years, but THEY ARE STILL NOT IN. She is sometimes overtired because she is not napping--more on that below. But sometimes the behavior just feels like plain old bad behavior.

For example, Amelia likes to climb into her car seat by herself. She usually does it reasonably quickly. "Reasonably quickly" in Amelia-time means much longer than in regular time, but I can deal. However, yesterday she wouldn't climb in and wouldn't climb in, and I was standing in the snow (!) waiting, so finally I said, "Amelia, please climb in your carseat or I am going to put you in it."

"I wanna do it by myself," she said.

"Okay," I said. "Then do it, please."

And she VERY, VERY slowly moved about one inch toward the seat. She stopped to look at me with wide and what can only be described as testing eyes. She wanted to see how much I was going to put up with or how slow she could go.

So I picked her up and put her in. This did not go very well. Have you ever tried to put unwilling two-year-old in a carseat? I felt terrible forcing her in it, but it felt like one of those parent moments when you have to follow through or things will get much worse. She cried about wanting to do it by herself. I said I understood and that next time she got in, she would have another chance to try again to climb in by herself right when Mama asked her to. We held hands and I talked about feelings. (Mama feels frustrated when Amelia doesn't do what Mama asks her to; Amelia feels angry that she did not get into her seat by herself.) She calmed down. The next time we had to get in the car, I reminded her she had one chance to get in quickly, and she did it.

So that problem is now solved forever, right?

The other thing we are working on is saying please and thank you. Amelia absolutely refuses to say thank you to anyone when we are out, like if the librarian gives her a special stamp. I know she feels shy so I don't push that much for now, but at home she sometimes sounds like a tiny dictator. "Mama, get me that juice." "Daddy, I want that toy." So last week, I wrote "PLEASE" and "THANK YOU" on some leftover Valentine hearts. Amelia decorated them with stickers and we taped them up all over the house. It reminds me and Dean to model please and thank you in our requests to Amelia and to each other, and to repeat Amelia's requests in a polite way before we fulfill them. I have been trying to avoid turning asking her say please for things into a power struggle, mainly by getting really excited when she does say it, especially on her own. I just try to remember that like everything else, teaching manners is a process.


Speaking of sleep

Naps are rare. It seems like Amelia tends to nap on Wednesdays, for some reason. Usually she just plays in her bed for an hour or so, sometimes happily, sometimes suddenly yelling "Mama, come here!" in the middle of her playtime. If she does fall asleep, she will sleep for about two hours. She continues to sleep very well at night, and I continue to be extremely thankful for that fact. When she doesn't nap, we put her to bed early. Last night she was in bed at 6:45. She talked and sang to herself for awhile and then fell asleep by 7:15, and slept till 6:25 this morning.

Teeth

Dear two-year-molars, you are terrible things. Please grow more quickly.

Mama's life

Since not being accepted to DU, I have been a little overwhelmed at how quickly all of the other things I wanted to do, writing-wise, have started to happen. I signed up for a poetry workshop, and that is going very well. I took a book review class and contacted an editor about writing my first review. I was contacted, out of the blue, about teaching a youth poetry class for an 8-week session. And, through a friend, I applied and was accepted to write at Examiner.com. I am now the "Denver Stay-at-Home Mom Examiner." You can read my first article here.

Several people have asked my if I will apply to DU again next year. I will not. I did my best on the application, and I am fairly if not totally certain that the reason I was not accepted is that my writing was simply not a good fit for the program. If you're not particularly into contemporary poetry, this might not make much sense, but the short explanation is that DU and the journal it produces, the Denver Quarterly, is known for experimental writing. I am not an experimental writer. (I could get into how all writing is experimental, but as far as the label "experimental" goes, it doesn't apply to me.) There are other programs I am confident I could get into, thank you very much, but they are in places very far from Denver, so for now I am going to keep working and writing on my own and look for other ways to create the writing life I would like to have, with the added bonus that I can do it at my own pace.

Some things I am thankful for
Spring weather, which has returned today after yesterday's snow. My wonderful husband, who returned from a long trip last week. The tiny plants that are starting to grow, a sign of the summer to come. The odd moments I have to write. My wonderful child. I realized the other day I will be truly and deeply sad when I don't have a toddler anymore. Amelia will be exactly two and half tomorrow.

Happy Valentine's Day!

little heart...



crafts



lots to say



We are doing much better this year than we were this time last year, and I am very thankful for a healthy little Valentine this year.



pigtails

Amelia, you are a precious Valentine, and I am a lucky Mama.

HIJK MNOP

Amelia's dropping of the letter "L" results in some funny moments. We have long enjoyed her versions of "Luli" (who might have picked a different grandmother name if she had known she was going to be Ew and now Udi), but here are a couple more. I will let you add the appropriate l's for yourself.

---

Amelia: Where are we going next?

Me: We have to stop by the liquor store.

Amelia: I want a aheepop!

Me: A what?

Amelia: A aheepop! A aheepop from the ickor store!

---


Me: (reading a book about sheep) Woolly sheep, shorn!

Amelia: What's that sheep saying?

Me: What do you think he's saying?

Amelia: He's saying, what happened to my woo?

Me: (laughing)

Amelia: (looking at another page) And these itte sheeps have a itte bit of woo!


---

Amelia: I want some juice!

Me: (getting the juice) (and probably saying, "What's the polite way to ask?")

Amelia: Can I have some juice pease Mama? I want do do the id!

Me: The id?

Amelia: I want to put the id on by myself!

---

Oh, yes, we have a lot of id around here.

What We're Up To

All I can seem to compose for this blog lately is a collection of random moments, and this post will be no different. In no particular order, here's what's going on with us these days.

I finished my application for the PhD program and it is sent away. I am glad to be done with it, hoping very much to get in, but once I actually finished and submitted the application I became much less anxious about the outcome. I feel like I did my best with the time that I had and the rest is simply out of my power. I have enough self-confidence (Meg called it "maturity" and I appreciate that) to assume that if I don't get it, it's simply because my writing isn't a good fit for the program and that's that. At the same time I have fallen pretty deeply in love with the idea of going back to school so I know I will be disappointed if I don't get in. My backup plans for the rest of my life are fairly nebulous at this point. I would like to try becoming more involved with the Denver writing community and freelance writing. We shall see.

The not knowing is making January feel even more stagnant than it always does. We had a couple of nice days and they were wonderful. One of my friends said she felt like she was in love and I thought that was perfect. But then yesterday it snowed again. It was pretty falling but then I realized Suki was out in it. Long story short, she found somewhere to hide and spent her first night out of the house, ever. Dean found her on our kitchen windowsill this morning and we were very happy she came back.

Amelia continues to not nap. She loves her bed and the new train set she got for Christmas. She takes her trains in a basket to her bed and plays for her whole naptime. I leave her in there about and hour and a half and she is happy the whole time. It is not nearly as relaxing for me--knowing exactly how long of a break I have plus feeling like I have to keep ear out for her makes her "naptime" much less of a break. But there is not much I can do about it. If it were warmer I would like it much better because we could spend the whole afternoon at the park. As it goes now there is only so much time one mother can play the same game with a train set in one day, and I have reached that limit by noon.

The game is that she likes to pile up Matchbox cars on the train track bridge and then have me "chug" the trains up the hill to the pileup. Then I have to say, "Danger! Danger! There are cars on the track! Who is going to help move them?" And Amelia looks smug until she decides to move the cars. The the trains chug down the hill and we do it "Again, again." (If you are a certain grandmother, you will recognize this game as one you created--we can't wait till you are here to play it!)

Another game she likes, and this one I can blame on Dean, is to have some of her animals get her ice cream. They ask her what kind she likes and how many scoops, then they trot off to get it and she pretends to eat it. I think she would do this for HOURS if she had a willing audience. She likes to make up words for ice cream flavors. She also likes for the store to run out of a flavor and for the animals to act really surprised and tell her, "They're all out! Shoot!"

Amelia says "got-for" for forgot. "We got-for my coat!"

What else? I am trying to think of baby development things I need to record for posterity. on the toddler behavior front, we have had our share of run-ins with the terrible twos. Tantrums, whining and extreme bossiness are the main challenges. These are better or worse depending on the day or time of day. Two helpful books are The Happiest Toddler on the Block and Love and Logic for Early Years. The whole thing is so exhausting I can't even write about it. Another time. We visited a preschool for next year and I loved it. It is "yoga based" and the teachers were very kind and warm and the school is in an old house that feels, as you would expect, extremely homey. Amelia's night sleep is still excellent. When she doesn't nap she is a giant mess by late afternoon so her bedtime is close to 7. Her eating is still pretty good. She went thought an obsession with orange juice but the she got a stomach virus during which I could only convince her that she really couldn't have a snack by saying that her doctor said too much eating would hurt her tummy. Then it occurred to me I could say that about the juice. It has worked to break the habit. It's not that I am against orange juice but it was starting to feel like she drank so much she was not eating any real food.

In short, all is well. We are looking forward to spring.

Stories and Songs

Amelia was painting and suddenly began to tell me the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I grabbed the camera and tried to record it, but of course as soon as I started recording she changed the story a bit. Still, what I captured is pretty entertaining.

A Pilgrimage, An Offering

Amelia and I made a trek to The Children's Hospital on Wednesday to drop off some toys as a Christmas donation. Instead of exchanging gifts, our (very generous and wonderful) playgroup donated gifts for the hospital at a little playgroup holiday party Amelia and I hosted on Tuesday. We ended up with four big bags of toys, books, art supplies, DVDs and even a mini-DVD player to donate. While we were there, I also wanted to buy some Wagon Blend coffee to give as gifts this year.

I was a little worried about returning to Children's. If you don't know the story of our experience there, you can read about it here (scroll down to "Hospital Story Part 1 to start from the beginning). I woke up at 4:30 in the morning on Wednesday reliving a lot of the experience; then I wondered why I had it on my mind--funny. I was thinking it was kind of crazy to voluntarily return to the hospital. But I wanted to make an offering, however small, to the hospital for Christmas, in honor of all the great care Amelia received while she was there.


Amelia on her last day in the hospital

Amelia and I loaded up and left for Aurora around noon. She happily ate a special treat--a Wendy's Kids meal--on the way. The girl loves her hamburgers. When we arrived, we parked and walked into the lobby.

It's hard to describe how I felt. I did of course remember being in that lobby was a worried parent, and I could see the worry (and exhaustion) in several other parents' faces as soon as I walked in. But mainly I felt like what I was--a visitor. Amelia and I found the room where there were collecting donations, then found a little red wagon to take back out to the car and return with the rest of the gifts. Amelia enjoyed the wagon ride, the sticker she got, and the little toys they have in the lobby. After we dropped off the toys, we took the elevator to the 9th floor with a basket of chocolates and candy for the wonderful nurses who took care of Amelia. As I had expected, we didn't get to see any of them, but we left it in the hands of a kind hospital worker who promised to find the right people. On the way off the elevator, Amelia got her fingers caught and smooshed in the opening door. As she cried (mostly with rage) and I comforted her, it really hit me how much of a visitor to the hospital I really was. My perfectly healthy and stubborn child, who tried again to touch the elevator doors the very next time we got on the elevator, is just that--wonderfully, blessedly, healthy. And the primary emotion I felt throughout our pilgrimage to the hospital was gratitude. I feel so incredibly lucky that my and Dean's experience with a very sick child was so short. I am infinitely grateful for Amelia's health and infinitely grateful for Amelia.


Our happy, healthy 2-year-old

There is something that happened while we were in the hospital that I have not mentioned to many people, and never to anyone in full. It's a very small moment but also a very big one. While we where there, they were doing one of those radio fundraisers for the hospital. The lobby was often full of DJs and music and parents and patients telling their stories on the air. Once when I was leaving the hospital for some reason, a mother was with talking to the DJ. She was telling the story of her child's illness. It was an illness her child did not recover from, and she was describing the moment the doctor's told her that there was nothing more they could do for the child. I can't tell the whole story because I pretty much ran from the lobby in tears, but what I remember, what was hard to comprehend at the time and honestly, still is, is that she was speaking about how grateful she was--for all that the doctors and nurses did do for her child, for the time she had left with her child, and for the person her child still was. I am sorry to be writing about this stuff--it's brutal. But I will always remember that mother's voice, and her gratitude.

One of the scariest things to me about parenthood--and life--is that we don't know what's going to happen next. For now, I have a beautiful, healthy, vibrant, fun-loving daughter. Having her is the most challenging, the most interesting, the most wonder-full thing I have ever experienced. This Christmas season, I offer a heart filled with love and gratitude to all of the other wonderful people my life, to the friends and family and neighbors who make my rich life even better. I love you all, and I hope your holiday season and new year are as filled with blessings as my own life has been so far.


Merry Christmas from all of us

Friendship: A Story in Pictures