Nonticketed Lap Child: Tips for Traveling with Someone Under Two

Since Amelia and I just completed our one millionth airplane trip together, I thought I would share what I have learned about entertaining a toddler on a planes.

1. New, new, new
Probably the most important thing I've learned about traveling with Amelia is to bring a wide variety of things to play with, and to bring as many "new" things along as I can. These things don't have to be brand new--although I sometimes do buy one or two things to take along--just things she hasn't seen in awhile. About a week before we travel, I look over her toys for anything that might be plane-appropriate (see below) and stash it away in her closet. Then I can pack it, and when I reintroduce it on the plane, it's a little surprise! Another way to get "new" things without spending money is to borrow toys from friends. Ask fellow parents if they have any plane-appropriate toys you can take on your trip. Some of the best toys we've traveled with have been toys of Amelia's friends.

2. Dole It Out
Once you've chosen what to bring and packed your bag, be the bag-master. A and I usually travel alone, so we just have a single bag. If I let her see the bag she'd be done with it in 10 minutes, so as we travel, I bring out one toy or activity at a time. I try to think ahead about the best times to do so. For example, if the flight attendant is about to bring drinks, I wait until after that to offer a new activity, because we've learned that ice in a cup is a fine plane toy. (In fact, when Amelia sees the flight attendants, she starts saying "Rice! Rice!")

3. Plane-Appropriate
What are the best toys for the plane? A lot of it depends on the child's age, but here are a few things I've learned. Anything too big is out, for obvious reasons, as is anything too messy. Keep in mind that no matter what you do, a lot of what you bring is going to end up on the floor. Will it be fairly easy to retrieve? Balls and things that roll away too easily are probably best avoided. Also avoid toys that make extremely loud noises--see below re not being annoying. No one wants to sit near a baby and Talking Elmo. Books are good, if they're not too heavy or bulky, but if I bring books I try to make sure they are ones Amelia likes--otherwise they are a waste of space.

Before a trip, I always try to think about what most entertains Amelia at that stage in her life and figure out how to best replicate that on the plane. So when she was under 6 months, her main airplane "entertainment" was nursing, being walked up and down the aisle, and, during one memorable trip, being whisked from my arms by a well-meaning flight attendant. But by 9 or 10 months, I could just bring a bag of stuff she'd never seen before--measuring cups, ribbons, My Little Ponies, whatever, and that worked pretty well. For this last trip, we let her bring crayons for the first time, since she is finally not just eating them, and they entertained her for awhile. (But they do roll away pretty easily). As with anything child-related, what will work best for you is probably unique to your child.

4. Top Toys So Far
That said, we have had some luck with particular toys. As I mentioned above, books can be good. Amelia likes any kind of picture dictionary type book, peek-a-boo books, and touch and feel books. One of her favorites has been a foam puzzle book loaned to us by a friend. It is lighter and more manageable than a real puzzle, and it took up at least an hour (in various 15-minute increments) on the trip we took before this last one.

She also likes flash cards, and we can take a lot of time handing her 3 or 4 cards, one at a time, and then getting her to hand them back. Stickers have worked well for us for awhile. You can stick them on each other, all 10 fingers, your boarding pass, every dog you can find in the Sky Mall book, and if you are desperate, your tray table. Another friend of ours recommended painter's tape--same idea. And still another friend loaned us a doodle board sort of like this one--Amelia had a great time scribbling and making the picture "all gone."

As I mentioned above, art activities might work, if they are not too rolly or messy. I am looking forward to when a coloring book and crayons might actually entertain Amelia. This time, we brought crayons in a fold-up pouch like this one (photos at the bottoms on the page). I did not make ours; it was a gift from Aunt Susan at Christmas (thank you Susan!). Amelia had more fun taking the crayons in and out of the pockets than actually coloring, but whatever. We also took these markers that only write on special paper. We learned that they do in fact leave an odd, wet-looking mark on airplane tray tables, but that comes off easily with a baby wipe. (Another random tip: bring a lot of baby wipes.) Amelia again had a better time putting the lids of the markers on her fingers than coloring, but again, oh well.

I thought I would wrap up the toy section by giving an example of what I meant by trying to replicate on planes what entertains Amelia in general. I bought two new things for the trip home from NC: toys rings and a bag of small farm animals. Both of these I found at a random NC drugstore for under $5. Since Amelia had such putting marker lids on her fingers on the way to NC, I thought she would enjoy the rings. And at her Luli and Guru's house, Amelia had a great time playing with dollhouse furniture and a bucket of seashells. I thought the farm animals were kind of similar. Both of these toys worked very well on the plane--but they wouldn't have a couple of months ago, when they would have gone straight in the mouth.

5. Snacks, snacks, and more snacks.
In my opinion, one of the most important things you can bring on the plane is food, for yourself and your child. Bring stuff you know you both like. Don't be too concerned about being healthy. Amelia's current favorites are salty snacks, so I brought Ziplocks of pretzels, crackers, Veggie Straws, etc. As with toys, it helps to have a lot of different options you can dole out as needed. My own favorites are Luna bars and the Veggie Straws. To simplify things during security, I usually don't bring babyfood (although Amelia is currently obsessed with those squeezey applesauce things, so this time it might have been worth it). I do bring an empty sippy cup I can fill along the way, after security.


6. On Sleep
My experience is that sleep during air travel is pretty hit or miss. Amelia used to nurse herself to sleep, and on this trip her biggest fit was on the way there, crying for "mik." (That was actually the last time she cried for milk, too.) On the way back, she let me rock her to sleep, to the extent that you can rock someone to sleep in an airplane seat, and sing to her. But she never sleeps long. Invariably a flight attendant will park the drink cart right next to us, or the pilot will make an announcement, or I will have to move my arm or leg, and she will wake up. So I try to save sleep for when I know she is really tired and we will be sitting still for awhile. And hope for the best.

7. On Not Being (Too) Annoying
When I first started traveling with Amelia, what I hated most was worrying about annoying other people. Now I am not nearly as concerned about them, but there are a few things I try to keep in mind. I try not to bring anything too loud along, as I mentioned above, and I try not to let her engage in truly intrusive behavior, like repeatedly kicking the back of the seat. If the behavior is borderline--Amelia loves to stand up and play peek-a-boo with the people in the sear behind us--I try to feel out the fellow travelers. Sometimes you get lucky and sit near a grandparent. (Actually that is my number one tip--try to sit near a grandparent.) But, annoyance-wise, there are some things you can't do anything about. If Amelia has a fit, I just try to stay calm. And if someone is being annoyed for no real reason, like the man who turned around and glared at us when Amelia was singing to herself, I just glare back at them.

8. Emergency Stash
Take something you know will distract your child if all else fails and save it for an emergency. We brought out a bag of M&M's 15 minutes before landing in NC, when Amelia was exhausted and just wanted to be free, and it saved the day.

9. Take Care of Yourself
For me, this means drink water. Bring chapstick and lotion. Take a bathroom break. Eat something.

10. On Having Fun
As long-time readers of this blog may know, I am not a natural traveler. But I try to remember that traveling can be fun. Especially when Dean and I travel together, we try to make it a nice day, taking turns reading and entertaining Amelia. Even when I am by myself, I often buy a People magazine or something I wouldn't normally buy to read while Amelia sleeps. And if there a layover that is long enough, I have a mojito, a drink I am pretty sure I have only ever tried in airports.

I hope these tips are helpful. If anyone has something to add, please leave a comment! And happy travels!

Happy Birthday to A

Not yet... but soon!

I've gotten several requests for ideas about first birthday presents for Amelia. She has been fairly tight lipped about revealing what she wants, so I guess I will have to speak for her this year. I'll start by saying that you don't have to get her anything!-- but I know some of you will. So the second thing I'll say is that some of her favorite things are things I never would have gotten for her. If you have your own ideas about what a one-year-old might want, I am sure they are great. A few of my ideas are below:

1. The ability to sleep through the night--this is not a joke. This is more for me than for Amelia but I will take prayers, charms, magic tricks, advice, stories about what worked for you, ANYTHING. Ironically, I have been too tired to write about Amelia's sleep. I will try to do it next--if her nap lasts long enough. Ha.

2. Come visit Amelia in Denver. She loves company more than gifts.

3. It occurred to me recently than Amelia needed shoes. She is pulling up to stand a lot and beginning to cruise. A closer look at the sand she so loves in the park reveals a variety of sharpish things, like sticks and even the occasional piece of glass. So today we had our first mommy-daughter shopping trip. I bought her a pair of Robeez. They are extremely cute. She is now a size 5. But according to the very knowledgeable shoe store lady, she will outgrow these shoes in about three months and also need shoes with a tougher sole for when she walks. So if you are into baby shoe shopping...

4. We've been thinking ahead to winter gear. A has a lot of summer clothes but relatively few long sleeve shirts and pants. Her size is currently around 12-18 months. Dean pointed out the other day that Amelia will have outgrown her old winter coats. Like a certain trio of kittens, she has no mittens. And she has one pair of these baby legwarmers that I love. Another pair might be nice. (Incidentally, the baby modeling the purple polka dot legwarmers (the one on the potty) is my friend's baby Faith!) Secondhand clothes--and shoes--and anything else--are great!

5. Toy wise, Amelia currently loves colorful board books and flash cards. Study or plastic-coated paper is best because she loves to chew on the books and cards as much as she likes to look at them. Maybe that will pass soon?

Other than that, I don't know. I am not sure what Dean and I will get her either. I think we are going to start a college fund for her... but it might be fun to get her a new toy also. I'd actually love suggestions from anyone with an older baby. What toys did your baby love around age one?

House Tour: Amelia's Room

Amelia's room has lots of nooks and crannies, so it's hard to get it all in one picture.



This is looking in from the doorway.



To the left is her little crib cave.



To the right is the changing table, some shelves, and the glider.

(A note on the glider: I didn't buy it until we left DC--I got it used from a MOTH right before we left. It is the MOST comfortable piece of furniture ever. I truly wish I had had it from day 1. It you are having a baby, GET A GLIDER, even if you don't think you have enough space. Sacrifice something else. Get a glider.)


A's room is very colorful.



She has a lot of pretty items and artwork, including this toybox, made my her grandmother and other Whimsical Women.



She is standing tall.

Oh the times, they are a changin'...

May 2009:




October 2009:



February 2010:




I washed her little lamb gown for the last time this morning, and folded it, and put it away.

Swings

A question for all you parents out there:

Did your babies like their swings? If so, when did they start liking them?

I am trying to decide if we should hang on to ours awhile longer. The swing is not one of Amelia's favorite toys. It mostly seems to make her angry.

Top Ten Baby Items, Months 1-3

Yes, folks, Amelia is 13 weeks old today and will be exactly 3 months old tomorrow! We didn't think we'd make it, but we did. I realized, though, while talking with some visiting friends who are expecting a baby in May, that my memory of her first 3 months is pretty much a blur. So, soon, Amelia will make her debut as a writer by beginning her own journal, an idea she got from Oliver of AD. Today, though, I wanted to write about our top 10 baby items for the first 3 months, both for memory's sake, and because I hope that some of the many new parents-to-be that I suddenly know can use the list.

These were a bit difficult to rank, as I would not want to live without any of them, and I ignored clothes and humdrum items like diapers, that bulb that sucks snot of the baby's nose, and pacifiers (Amelia likes Soothies, but only the green ones). Anyway, here you go:

Number Ten:
The Gentle Giraffe: Friend of the Sleep Sheep, the GG for short, this little white noise animal helps both during naps and at night. Its only flaw is that it's on a 45 minute timer, so you have to turn it back on during the night. Another option might be to just get a regular white noise machine. But the GG was a gift--and sadly, although I remember writing the thank you note, I can't remember who gave it to us. Thank you, whoever you are!!! We love it.

Number Nine:
The Pack and Play with Bassinet Feature: This is our downstairs area for A. She slept a lot here when she was a newborn, and now she will--sometimes--play there, watching her mobile and looking in the mirror. It really is easy to "pack," too. Just remember that the outside bars have to be set up or taken down before you push in or pull up the bottom.

Number Eight:
The Mini Co-Sleeper: Meg and Sophie loaned us this co-sleeper. I remember talking to Meg before A was born, telling her didn't think we needed it because we were just going to carry the Pack and Play up and down the stairs every morning and night. Ha! Meg was kind not to tell me how ridiculous that idea was. Anyway, the co-sleeper is great. You can lean over and touch the baby--perhaps making sure she is breathing, for example, or rubbing her belly to put her back to sleep. (What a little puppy.) Once I got over the feeling that Amelia would be too lonely in it, it let both of sleep more soundly.

Number Seven:
A Black and White Mobile: As I write, A is cooing at this mobile. She loves black and white books, too, but the mobile has the benefit of creating a type of independent play. If you get the one that I've linked to, you can make it truly "mobile" by adding a rubber band between the plastic links.

Number Six:
A Play Mat: Amelia has this rainforest one, but it probably wouldn't matter what type, as long as it had lights and music. Mainly lights. Amelia started liking this around 6 weeks or so. She will sometimes watch it while we eat dinner, and it is the sole reason I can take a shower while I am home alone with her.

Number Five:
A Baby Carrier: We have the Ergo and the Moby. They are both great but for different reasons. The Moby is softer and better for your more intense "babywearing" sessions, such as napping or sitting at the computer. The Ergo is better for long distance walking, since the Moby tends to loosen up over time. We are currently in a transitional period with the Ergo: Amelia is too big for the newborn insert but too small for the hold. But I think soon we will be back to using the Ergo a lot more.

Number Four:
A Breastfeeding Pillow: Both the Boppy and My Breast Friend (I know, such sophisticated product names) were passed on to me by friends or neighbors, and both were good. The Breast Friend was a little firmer, but we seemed to use the Boppy more, maybe because there wasn't room in the living room for two breastfeeding pillows and the Boppy won. A has recently outgrown both of them, but the shape of these pillows made them ideal not only for breastfeeding but also for holding a baby that hated to be put down. I would, in fact, highly recommend taking a breastfeeding pillow to the hospital, in case you get stuck there while you are learning to breastfeed like I did.

Number Three:
A Baby Bathtub: I remember bathing my sister Heather in the sink, but Amelia loves this bathtub. She lost her umbilical cord stump very early, so we were able to give her a bath the same week we brought her home. Even when she was very new, the bath seemed to calm her (although getting in and out of the bath was another story). Now taking a bath is a part of her bedtime routine, and we think bathtime is her favorite part of day. She sits in the bath with a very serious look on her face and splashes wildly, kicking her legs and waving her arms. Last night she was even laughing at Dean as he washed her hair.

Number Two:
A Breast Pump: When I got my breast pump, I cried during the walk home. For some reason, it was the baby item that most symbolized to me the drastic changes I was facing. Like many baby-related items and situations, it is the ultimate paradox, both a chain and a key to freedom. Regardless, if you are breastfeeding, you need a good pump. Then, occasionally, someone else can feed the baby. (If you are more flexible than me, you could also just occasionally use formula. But that's a whole other post.)

I have the Medela Pump In Style (and it is oh so stylish). I got it used for $40. Liz recommended her Medela Free Style, too, but I couldn't find it used. I think if I was planning on having a lot of babies it would be a great investment, because you can pump and walk around and do things. As we know, though, Amelia is going to be an only child. :)

And the Number One baby item is...
A Swaddling Blanket! Although it gets rave reviews, we never had any luck with the Miracle Blanket, but that may just be because Dean was so good at swaddling that we didn't try much. We just used the blanket we took from the hospital (they said we had to leave it, but after 5 days we were attached) and later this baby blanket that is just like the "Bucky" I had as a child. Swaddling was and is the key to Amelia's long nights of delicious, wonderful sleep. Okay--also to MY nights of delicious, wonderful sleep.

So--I am aware how many of my top 10 items have to do with sleep. In fact, each one has to do with sleep, breastfeeding, or getting the baby to entertain herself. Hmm. In any case, thanks to all of the parents who came before me with recommendations of their own. I am looking forward to the next three months, when we'll get to use our stroller more, and try out more toys, the Bumbo, and maybe even a highchair!

Five Facts for Monday Morning

I'm off to a doctors appointment in a few hours, and excited to get an update.

Here's a photo of the hallway nursery. You can't quite see them, but all of the baby's stuffed animal friends are inside, ready and waiting.



Here's the baby yesterday. She is getting pretty huge.




Here is a blue morning glory from seeds I planted long ago--I thought they were NEVER going to grow.



Also, I have blue toenails.





UPDATE: At the appointment I learned my cervix is 70% effaced and 1 and 1/2 cm dilated. Apparently this means little about WHEN the baby will come but COULD mean I am in for a relatively quick labor, which is great news to me. The baby herself is still a "happy baby" (the doctor has said that about her every single time), with her head well descended, her back curving up along my right side (hence the wadding on the right, I guess), her butt at the top of my uterus, and her legs and feet near the top left.

Back to School

School began yesterday. Despite some nervousness and last minute syllabus copying, I had a really nice day!

I decided to drive to school so I could go to Babies-R-Us after class. The weather has been beautiful here lately, so I got to drive in with the windows down, listening to Morning Edition. It reminded me of the one thing I liked about my old Chapel Hill-to-Garner drives--it's kind of relaxing to drive to work with NPR. And I got to try out the parking situation. Instead of buying a regular parking permit, I got a "bundle pack," which consists of 10 1-day passes for $40. The faculty (yes, I am officially "faculty" now) can part in various overflow lots, some of which are literally miles from where I teach, but I found a lot within a 5-minute walk from my classroom! Good to know for when I return after the baby comes. I am saving the rest of the passes for then, since it takes so much more time to Metro than to drive to school, and I imagine I'll be on some sort of a breast pumping timeline.

I got to school a little early, so I went to the library and looked over my notes. I was nervous, even though I have taught the first day of English 101 8 other times, and I do almost exactly the same thing every time. It's just that so much of teaching is on the spot. You have to stand up and just go with it. I haven't been doing a lot of that this summer. But when I got to the first classroom and started the class, everything went very smoothly. It was fun!

My second classroom is directly across the hallway from the first, so in the 15-minute break I sat outside in the sun. The baby was very busy. It was nice because she was quite sluggish on Monday. I think she was excited to be teaching too. She did teach a whole semester last spring, but she was very young so she probably doesn't remember. I myself WAS remembering the first day of school last semester, which was the first day I actually believed the faint pink line on the pregnancy test.

The second class also went well. They were a particularly bright-eyed bunch, with most of them staying quite alert even through all the boring course policy information, which I have learned to go over aloud despite its dullness. The students just don't read it on their own.

The first part of the curriculum covers rhetoric, and this semester I am focusing on analyzing advertisements. As a unit project, the students will create their own advertisements in groups. After class, I went to the co-op for lunch, and as I ate I read the campus newspaper, The Diamondback. There was this front-page article that fits perfectly with the concepts I'm teaching, so after I ate I got 22 copies of the paper and took them to my office to use in class tomorrow.

Although I've been in Tawes, the English department's new home, all summer, yesterday was the first day I got to use it as a teacher. I used the fancy new copier/scanner to make copies for tomorrow, and then I went to my office. The offices are spacious and sunny, 4 desks to a room with a computer in each office! Compared to my old office, which had about 15 desks and a computer packed into a room not even twice as big as the new office, this is very luxurious. (And even more so for the TAs who had their desks in "the bullpen," a messy, noisy room in the old English building that was home to at least 30 desks, 1 computer, several filthy couches, and a refrigerator full of molded bagels.) The only thing that was slightly sad was that I was all alone in my office--there was something nice about always having a colleague to talk to, as was the case in the big shared space.

After I wrapped up all my teaching tasks, I made the thrilling trek to Babies-R-US through the College Park-to-Silver Spring suburban sprawl. As a pregnant person, I am not a great driver. Not only am I super paranoid that people are going to crash into me, I also feel oddly distracted, as though I can't focus. Plus I get terrible road rage. But I made it there, where I got to fulfill my dream of parking in one of the "Expectant Mother" parking spots right up front. (Dean wouldn't park there when we went together.) I took in Sophie's old car seat and got a new Graco Snug Ride, complete with silver buckle. It's blue and gray, which doesn't match Meg's stroller or mine, but the only choices were blue and gray or pink and brown. I figured blue and gray is more unisex for any future babies that might inherit the car seat.

Speaking of gender, all of the random strangers who have guessed the sex of the baby lately have thought it was a boy. They say things like, "When is the little man coming out?" They are always very surprised, somewhat skeptical, and slightly disapproving when I say she is a girl. I guess it's the way I'm carrying. I'm considering just going along with people and agreeing it's a boy, so I don't have to have such long conversations with people about it. I've realized that one of the things people who love being pregnant love about it is getting a lot of attention from strangers, but I don't really love that part. Sometimes it's nice, but other times... I'm just tired or in my own world. (And apparently extremely anti-social.) And then there are times when the encounter is just plain weird, as the other day when I was meeting Dean outside his office. A man, who was wearing black winter gloves for some reason, asked me if people wanted to touch my belly a lot.

"Sometimes," I replied, thinking fast about how I was going to reply when HE asked to touch it.

"Do you let them?" he asked.

"Sometimes," I replied again.

"Well, you shouldn't."

This was surprising. He proceeded to explain that every time someone touched my belly their spirit got into the baby and if they had a bad spirit, this harmed the baby. He told me how Mary, when pregnant with Jesus, kept it a secret for that reason. He said I should not even allow my family to touch my belly. I thanked him for his advice and sidled away as soon as I could, aided by some men wearing navy uniforms who stopped to talk to him.

Anyway, back to Babies-R-US--the car seat came in a HUGE box, which reminded me of Liz's recent experience with a car seat purchase. I loaded in the cart, car and house all by myself--don't worry, it wasn't really heavy, just big. After I picked out the car seat, I wandered around the store in the hope that I would spot any other item I might need so I would never have to go there again. In this way, I learned how very many baby products there are, and how "your baby's safety" is an important marketing technique in selling these. After resisting the urge to buy both a yellow "baby on board" bumper sticker and a digital kick counter that said it "reduced the likelihood of stillbirth," I paid for the car seat and left.

After that, we stopped for a healthy snack, a McDonald's hot fudge sundae, and I made my way home. When I got here, the Ergo carrier had arrived, so it was a big day for the baby in terms of new items. Tonight or tomorrow, we'll install the car seat, and then I'll get it inspected Friday. It'll be ready just under the "1 month before your due date" timeline!

To top off yesterday's pleasantness, I went to yoga, which is always nice. But it was extra nice because one of the women in the class, who I dislike because she invariably "feels really great" and does 10 REAL push-ups to every half-push up the teacher instructs us to do, had gotten all of her hair cut off! This proves that she has had at least ONE pregnancy symptom! (See The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy regarding the little known but common urge to cut ALL of your hair cut off during the third trimester. I have been resisting this myself.) Her hair looks fine, so it's not that I'm gloating that she looks bad. It was just satisfying that she showed SOME sign of being at all affected by her pregnancy.

All in all, a good day. And now I am off to a breast pump tutorial with Caroline and Lucy!

It's August 31st...

so you may be wondering whether I am going to meet my "Be Ready For Baby" deadline of TODAY.

No.

However, most things are done, and I will have completed two of the most important remaining items on the list by the end of the week. One is the car seat. Yesterday, we tried to install our car seat, but hit a roadblock (haha) when we realized we were missing a certain silver clip. Long story short, we are going to trade in the used car (from Sophie) for a new one of the same brand. I plan to do that tomorrow after I teach. We'll install it one evening this week, then get it inspected by the DC Fire Department Friday morning.

The second big item remaining on my list is to figure out the breast pump, which Caroline has graciously agreed to help me with this week.

There are a couple of other things on the list, but all in all I am feeling pretty good. Now I am off to finish up my syllabus, course policies, and lesson plans for the week.

The Fragmented Nursery

We're coming along on baby preparation. We didn't actually plan to spend almost the entire weekend on baby-related tasks, but that's what we ended up doing. It was fun, and I feel calmer every time I can mark something off my list.

First, we took our hospital tour last week. As we waited for the tour, I was feeling a little anxious, wishing I had gone with the birthing center. However, as I told Dean, if I'd gone with the birthing center, I'd be nervous not to be at a hospital. If all goes as planned, the baby will be born at Holy Cross Hospital in Silver Spring, Maryland. It gets great reviews, maternity center-wise, and has one of the most advanced NICUs in the ares--which hopefully we will not need to use, but reassuring nonetheless.

During the tour, which was very informative, we were in one of the waiting areas when a dad, still in scrubs, appeared, beaming. His family ran toward him laughing and shouting, and his mom grabbed him in a hug, crying and saying, "My son has his first son!" It was a wonderful huge dramatic scene. I felt it was a good sign for the hospital.

Also, last week I washed all the Bumgenius diapers last week. Here they are, ready to go:



They're in the top section of the changing table/dresser. It still smells faintly of baby powder, but I'm at a loss as to getting rid of the smell. Dean says it's mostly gone, so maybe it's just my pregnant nose. We got a changing pad this weekend, and put up a mirror for the baby to look in while she is changed (or after, anyway--we're not sure she'll be able to see in it while she is lying flat on the table).



Suki very much enjoys the changing pad. She slept on it all night. It's the only piece of baby furniture she can really access, but I think it's fine since we won't be leaving the baby alone on the changing table.

Momentously, we have turned the crib from a baby item storage unit into something a baby could sleep in. This took a lot of cleaning out of other parts of the house. We put a sheet on the crib, and Dean arranged the stuffed animals inside to await the baby's arrival. We also hung Luli's beautiful wall hanging above the crib.






And I moved all of the baby's books from my desk upstairs to their own shelf on a downstairs bookshelf:



All of these things are in different parts of the house. The crib is in the hallway at the top of the stairs, and the changing table is in our bedroom, where we'll also keep a bassinet for the first few months. We decided it was better to keep a spare room for any company that might come to visit than to turn the only really extra space we have into a nursery, especially since it will be quite a while till the baby knows whether she has her own room or not.

We also made a run to Babies-R-Us on Saturday to return a few things and looks of a couple of things. We came home not only with our changing pad but also a pack and play, which we had decided against getting before, but upon further consideration decided would be useful to go ahead and have.


On Sunday, we went to Eastern Market and two art museums looking for a few more pictures for the walls. We wanted either black and white or something very colorful. After walking around for almost 4 hours, we didn't see anything we loved, so we came home and Dean ordered these prints: a Kandinsky and a Klee. I'm not sure what you call this kind of art--color theory? Abstract expressionist? Anyway, these seemed cheerful and engaging. We might get an Ansel Adams print too--black and white.

Whew! I still have to figure out the breast pump--luckily, Caroline has the same kind and is going to help me. Every time I look at that breast pump with all of its tubes and plastic pieces I get very anxious and grouchy. And, we still need to install the car seat. Otherwise, my list is coming along nicely!

33 Weeks

Well, almost. I noticed the countdown clicker says 51 days! Crazy. 51 days till we meet Amelia the Wiggle Baby? (I'm transitioning with the name here.) 51 days till I can eat goat cheese and drink margaritas? I guess probably a bit longer than that. (During one of our "Make Way for Baby" classes the instructor was telling us to imagine how we wanted to set up the delivery room: music, company, etc. I whispered to Dean, "Can we have a margarita fountain?" Kidding, kidding. But if we COULD have one, I'd go ahead and add a buffet of soft cheeses too.)

I'm recording the events of the last few weeks to distract myself from post breakfast-one nausea. Basically, the baby is growing and we are waiting. It's not too exciting.

School starts in 2 weeks, so I am taking a week off of work to get ready. I'm teaching 2 sections of English 101, the first year writing class. I'm working with my substitute-to-be to plan, trying to synchronize our syllabi so that it is easier for her to take over when she steps in. It's a little difficult because I can't just make executive decisions like I am used to, but it's also kind of nice to discuss plans and choices with a colleague. Agnes (my sub) is a great teacher, so I think working with her will be fun and helpful.

Yesterday I tackled a chore on the "Baby To Do List:" organizing the clothes. I've been washing the clothes, and cutting out the itchy tags, as I've received them, and Dean and I sorted them by category after the first set of baby showers. But since then we've received more and the bins we're using are overflowing, so yesterday I sorted them again, paying more attention to size and season. I put everything labeled 3-6 months and above in a separate box, so all we have in the bins now are the newborn and 0-3 months stuff. And I put all the VERY tiny things in one bin, so it will all be handy right at first. Some of the stuff was hard to sort because I had cut out the tags... but baby clothes sizing seems pretty unstandardized anyway so I just used my best judgment. There was a pair of pants labeled 6 months that was exactly the same size as a pair of pants labeled newborn. They seemed rather small, so I kept them both out. We'll see what fits when the baby gets here, I guess.

I am also dealing the the baby powder smell inside the changing table/dresser we bought (used). I know a baby powder smell doesn't seem all that offensive for a piece of baby furniture, but first of all it's weird--how can a piece of wood furniture I've washed repeatedly STILL smell like baby powder? And secondly, it's a very STRONG baby powder smell, kind of sickly sweet, at least to my nose. So, at my mom's suggestion, I've sprinkled and stuffed the dresser with baking soda and newspaper. Luckily, I think I caught it in time to NOT have to rewash all the baby clothes.

We still have a lot to do, most of it involving setting up baby furniture. We'll probably wait till next weekend at least so we can enjoy a bit more time with no baby furniture to trip over.

What else? We take the hospital tour next week, and I am taking a nursing class at the DC Breastfeeding Center. We had a 32-week ultrasound last week, and everything looked great (expect, I have to admit, the pictures, in which the baby's face looks smooshed, and, frankly, strange. I guess it's because her face is all wedged above my right hip--and apparently the anterior placenta gets in the way some too. They couldn't get a good 3D picture because of it). But health and size-wise, the baby is doing fine.

Dean and I are both getting more and more excited, and a little impatient. There's still a while to go...

Baby Shower!

Thanks to everyone who came to our baby shower on Saturday! It was great to see everyone, and I was amazed at how many people told me they read the blog. I am always a little overwhelmed at parties in my honor, but it quickly became clear, by how all hands went immediately to my belly, that the real guest of honor wasn't me--I just carry her around. Whew--what a relief!

It was a beautiful day, and the baby seems to have almost everything she needs! We have pretty much reached Liz's suggested number of BumGenius diapers, and we have blankets and a bathtub and a nursing stool... a variety of lovely dresses, pajama sets, and stylish outfits for the baby... many useful items from other moms and dads and grandparents that we had no idea we needed, but clearly do... and lots of toys, including a playmat and two trucks!... and some lovely items for the baby's "nursery," a.k.a. our hallway, including a handmade wall hanging made by Luli! I will post a nursery picture of as soon as we get everything set up (which, as we know, will be by August 31 at the latest).

We are so grateful for our friends' and family's kindness and generousity. A special thank you to Luli and Corrie, for putting it all together, and to Liz and Oliver for driving all the way from Nashville to attend!

Cloudy With a Chance of Showers

The nameless wiggle baby was given not one but two baby showers last week. They were wonderful! Everyone was so kind and generous.

The first shower, last Thursday, was a family shower planned mostly by my aunt Carolyn. Thank you Carolyn! And thank you to the rest of my family too. It was a lovely shower, with great food and super cute decorations. Not to mention the super cute gifts. The baby now has more clothes than I do. The days of documenting each individual baby item are over, I guess, but everyone picked out great stuff, lots of precious dresses and gowns and skirts and t-shirts and onesies. One particularly scary onesie says "sleep is for the weak." Yikes!

It was great to be able to talk to my aunts and cousins about pregnancy and motherhood. Collectively they have a lot of advice to share. When the shower began, I was a little sad that my grandmother could not be there, but I tried to be happy to feel her presence in all of the other wonderful women I was with.

Then on Saturday, Meg and her mom threw us another shower in Chapel Hill. It too was beautiful. I got to see lots of friends and family, and again everyone was so generous. The baby received more lovely clothes, blankets, lots of practical items like baby wash and outlet plugs, and lots of fun things like books and toys and a rainforest play mat and a piggy bank. It took Dean and I many trips up the back stairs to unload everything yesterday. I had fun sitting down with Dean to show him everything. Right now the baby stuff is in bags or small piles in storage, but we think that next weekend we are going to start setting things up so that we don't have to avoid tripping over piles of baby items for the next 3 months. I will post pictures when things look a little better.

We are so grateful to have so many wonderful friends and family members. Thank you all for everything! And if all this weren't enough, we have another baby shower to look forward to soon--Luli and Corrie are giving us another shower in August!

The Weekend In Pictures

Well, words and pictures. We had a busy weekend. I graduated from my MFA program on Friday, and on Saturday Jim and Luli, Dean's parents, came up for a birthday visit and a Will Oldham concert. Unfortunately, I have no pictures of the concert, since they didn't allow cameras, but it was a lot of fun. I also have no pictures of today: Dean and I took a picnic to the tidal basin area, and then I stayed on the Mall and watched part of the Memorial Day parade. It was a great DC Memorial Day activity, but they didn't allow cameras. No, really, I just forgot the camera, as usual.

Anyway, here's the weekend's photo album.

My graduation was Friday. It was very hot wearing the robe. It made me sleepy. Graduation ceremonies are so strange, but they are nice punctuation. Here I am with my poetry friends, the people I started the program with 3 years ago...



My family made a whirlwind trip up to see me graduate! Stupidly, we did not take any family pictures at the graduation. But they did get me some gorgeous roses:



and here are some books they brought for the baby (on the beautiful new table Luli made; more on that below).



The baby has a promising library already.

On Saturday, my parents went home and Dean's arrived, bearing many gifts. It's not her birthday, but most were for the baby. Here are some clothes:



and a sling Luli made! I am trying it out with my Cinnamon Bear.



There were also some new clothes for Mama. Here's the cute top Luli made for me:



Sadly, some of the clothes, including the gift from Linda, which I LOVE, do not fit. Sigh. Anyway, Dad-to-be got something he's been wishing for: a rain barrel! It's thundering now, so we're hoping to be able to use it soon. Here it is with its friend the composter:



Just for fun, here's how our garden looks now:



and a close up of the peas:



The most exciting gift, for the whole family, is the beautiful table Luli made for us.



Here's a close up:



and a side view:



I love this table. It is just gorgeous and perfect for the space. It's a drop leaf table, so we can make it small if we need to, or big enough for a large workspace or a dinner for 6 (we think) if we need to. Thank you Luli!

Finally, Suki was a little sad that no one brought her presents, but she found consolation in the bag the presents arrived in:



All in all, a great weekend. It's not often we get to see both sets of parents! Now I'm coming to terms with the end of the holiday--I start my new job in the English department tomorrow!

Inventory

I am 20 weeks pregnant , which is officially halfway through, although of course the pregnancy could be longer or shorter than 40 weeks. We have been very excited since the ultrasound, and spent a lot of time this weekend reading our baby name book. Some names we had been considering were decided against, and some new ones were added to the list. I don't want to post the list yet, but I'll say that Dean and I both seem to like names that sound somewhat old-fashioned, as well as names that end in "a."

I am super excited that the baby is a girl, although I suspect I would be very excited about a boy, albeit in a totally different way. I had been leaning toward wanting a girl, but the night before the ultrasound I kept waking up hearing "it's a boy," and I was still very happy. In fact right before the ultrasound technician told us it was a girl I thought I could see that it was a boy, if you know what I mean--I guess I was looking at the umbilical cord? Anyway, maybe it's just the 20-week ultrasound, but since Friday I have been much more excited about the part where we HAVE A BABY, as in when the baby comes home and we get to have it, oops, HER, around. This is an extreme relief since I have been pretty nervous so far. I'm still nervous, but I am also enchanted by our lovely daughter's first baby pictures and I can't wait to see her in person!

She is moving around a lot more in her snug little space. Or I guess she is moving the same amount, but I can feel it more. The flutters and kicks are interesting, but there is also one very odd type of movement. It's odd because of where I feel it, which is sort of down low, just over the cervix area. It makes sense that you would feel movement there, but it's strange because, as Meg put it, "you didn't think anyone could ever touch you there." I'm excited for when Dean can feel her kicking. On Friday afternoon, she kicked strongly enough for me to feel with my hand on my belly, but that's all so far and of course there is no way of predicting when that will happen again.

We are collecting more and more baby items, so I thought it would be fun to take a baby stuff inventory. So far, my daughter-to-be owns:

1 crib, bought Saturday with Meg and Sophie, to be delivered in 7-14 business days. It looks like this one except it's brown, not black. (Don't cribs look like jail cells?)

1 beautiful quilt, handmade by Dean's great aunt for him when he was born, seen below

1 doll, handmade by Dean's grandmother, also seen below



5 finger puppets: I bought these at Eastern Market with Laura a month or two ago. (Note the baby llama, baby monkey and baby kangaroo!)



3 books: Goodnight Moon and Pat the Bunny, sent by Liz; Freedom on the Menu and Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope, sent by Linda; and Hippos Go Beserk!, bought by me on the day I first heard the baby's heartbeat




2 gowns: pink, one polka dot and one with tiny flowers and a little lamb applique



(See the little lamb?)



1 towel. It has a little lamb hood on it. (I seem to have a weakness for lambs.)

1 pajama set: pink, with matching hat, bib (again with a lamb), and socks.

1 rattle: a cow, with udders, sent by Corrie

24 pairs of socks that look like shoes, sent by my mother in both boys and girls versions in two sizes, seen below in green.

and

1 soft blanket with baby animals on it. (This, the towel, the pajama set and the gowns, not to mention the crib, were bought this weekend by sweet Aunt Meg, who visited with precious baby Sophie--and I forgot my camera so I have no picture of them!)



It's all very exciting and almost exhaustingly cute!

Monday Update

I taught my last classes today. These COULD be the last classes I ever teach at UMD, depending on what happens next year. It was a pleasant day, not any actual teaching--just course evaluations, and for my poetry students, a final small group workshop and then a large group reading. We each brought in a single poem, just to read, not to workshop.

Interestingly, I got through a whole semester without telling my students about the pregnancy (although I know at least one or two of the poetry students, young women, have been checking out my belly). And I still haven't told anyone at school, because they still haven't announced lecturer positions for next year. So I am still stuck in a weird purgatory state with announcing and planning.

I found out I was pregnant (at least, I got the first of many positive pregnancy tests) the night before the first day of classes. January 26 or so? That's a long time to keep a secret.

I remember I felt AWFUL for about 2 days. Like I'd been run over by a truck. And my nose started running ALL the time. Then I felt better till about 6 weeks or so.

I still feel vaguely nauseous from time to time--pretty much every morning and random other times too. I guess that's not going to go away.

Anyway, in other news, I won a teaching award. I am a "Distinguished Teaching Assistant," one of 8 chosen by the English Department. It made me happy to find out. (THAT'S why they should want to keep me as a teacher.)

Also, I got a summer job with the English Department! I've been offered 20-30 hours a week to work as an office assistant. The pay ended up being decent, and I think I am going to take it. My other option is temping again. Theoretically, I could make more money temping, but to do that, I would also have to work more hours. It will be nice to work part time so that I can still write, as well as to be able to count on my schedule. With temp work you just never know. Last year I waited for jobs for a long time, then got an AWFUL stint at the Washington Post (NOT as interesting as it sounds; I was filing over a year's worth of car dealership and housing development ads). Then I was off some more, till I landed what was supposed to be two weeks as a receptionist at a law firm. Nine weeks later, I will still there. It was a mixed blessing--nice to have the work, but long, LONG hours--as in many hours a day, as well as hours that seemed to last for days.

What else? Several lovely people are planning baby showers for me, so I have gotten busy with the baby registries and such (as you can see to the right of the posts). I've made some big decisions: crib, stroller, car seat, although I am still researching a few details. I've learned a LOT about strollers in the past week. And I've probably creeped out my share of parents and babysitters, because I've peered at a lot of strollers too. The stroller decision is a big one for the city dweller. A lot of the strollers we saw on our Babies-R-Us field trip looked too flimsy for Capitol Hill's uneven brick sidewalks. As it turns out, many of the parents in our neighborhood have chosen strollers that are extremely expensive. But I think I found a good option (the City Mini, in case you're wondering).

And, the mystery baby has been moving around. It's mostly very faint movements, so faint I am sometimes unsure I am actually feeling the baby move. It feels like flutters or involuntary twitches on my insides. Sometimes, it feels like pressure pushing downward on whatever is just below the uterus. Cervix? I need my diagram. One night, the night of the poetry reading, I felt actual kicks--not hard, but definite kicks, sort of like light poking in my left side. Maybe the mystery baby was congratulating me?

I got a lot of kind comments about the poetry reading (this was the student prize reading). I am meeting with my thesis advisor one last time, tomorrow afternoon. I want to talk about what to do next. I suppose I am officially working on a book now.

The last random fact for the day: at nineteen weeks, the baby is "the size of a large heirloom tomato." (We've come a long way from lentil!)

Baby Instructions

I love this. Click to enlarge, so you can actually read it.

Diaper Math

My friend Liz recently wrote to me relating her experience with cloth diapers.

I figured we’d likely go with cloth diapers anyway, or do what Meg does, using cloth diapers when possible but having a backup of disposables. (Let’s be realistic—sometimes we’re probably just going to need them.) However, today I started thinking about it even more.

Liz says they have 24 diapers to last for 3 days. (The laundry is another story, yes.)

That’s 8 diapers a day. (Is that realistic? Correct me if I’m wrong, mothers.)

Liz likes the Bun Genius diaper because it works well for her baby, Oliver, and a single, adjustable size fits babies from 7-35 pounds.

24 Bun Genius diapers cost about $408 (they’re $17 apiece).

According to babysrus.com, you can get a box of 216 Pampers for $41. That’s about 19 cents a diaper. (And a pretty good deal: for example, and 84-count box costs $24, or 29 cents apiece.)

8 diapers a day for a year, at 19 cents a diaper, is $555.

How long are babies in diapers? Two years? So that’d be a little over a thousand dollars.

Of course, one could also buy much cheaper cloth diapers.

For more on this fascinating subject (including the alarming statistic than one baby using disposable diapers sends about one ton of waste to the landfills) you can view the “Cotton Babies” link to the right.

P.S. If I use cloth diapers, I definitely want one of those diaper shower things that connect to the toilet with a hose so you can spray the diaper off. Seems like a must-have to me.

P.P.S. Dean pointed out that 8 diapers a day is a new diaper every 3 hours. Comment, mothers, on whether this is true.

Are you expecting?

That's what the woman who cut my hair said to me on Tuesday as I was paying.

"Yes!"I replied.

Then she said something like, "no wonder." She sort of murmured it and I am not sure what she meant. I was kind of nauseous during the haircut (shocking, I know) because I had just eaten and taken prenatal vitamins, and it got kind of hot under the cape as she dried my hair, so maybe she meant, "no wonder you looked so miserable during the haircut." Or maybe she meant, "no wonder you look a little fat under your t-shirt." In any case, I think it's a little dangerous for strangers to be asking me if I am expecting at this point in the pregnancy, but since I AM, I found it very exciting.

Then she said she though it was a boy. So, that's one vote for boy. My mom and Luli, my mother-in-law, think it's a girl. So girl is winning. (Feel free to cast your own vote in the "comments" box.)

Here are a few other thoughts/moments from the past few days.

*In case you are wondering if my morning sickness is gone, NO, it is not. I actually feel pretty good right now, but I've had several yucky days in the past week. It is really wearing me down. I'm so tired of it I can't even complain about it anymore. I hope it goes away soon.

*I am a slow-moving vehicle. When I was walking to Union Station yesterday, people who had started out 2 blocks behind me passed me halfway there. Then when I got off the train in College Park, I was plodding along the sidewalk, eating a chocolate croissant, and this crazy runner in a Marines t-shirt sprinted past. Then he sprinted past again, going back where he'd come from. Then past again the first way. He did this 4 or 5 times , for about the length of 2 blocks, in the time I took me to walk about 3/4 of the block. As I finally turned the corner, he stopped to rest, huffing and puffing, watching me wipe the chocolate off my face.(I was really tired yesterday. Still.)

*Through an interesting chain of events, my dear friend Meg has secured a crib voucher for me to get a new crib. So, I can officially check "crib" off of my (currently non-existent) list of baby things we need. That's a big one! (Thank you Meg!)

*I wore my maternity pants for the first time yesterday. They are green cargo pants. They are much more comfortable than my other pants--I can still button them, but they get uncomfortable by the end of the day, and make angry-tight-pants marks on my stomach. Maternity pants have an unbelievable large belly panel.

Baby Stuff

Yesterday, I met a friend for lunch and a trip to the Pentagon City Mall. She had kindly agreed to make the dreaded trip across the river with me because I wanted to get these hard candies that supposedly help with morning sickness. They are called Preggie Pops--actually, the ones I got are Preggie Pop Drops. (I am sucking one now. I suppose the nausea I felt before sitting down at the computer has eased, but that could just be because I sat down and stopped paying attention to Dean packing his lunch.)

Anyway, they sell the drops/pops at Motherhood Maternity. When we went in, I was immediately overwhelmed at the maternity clothes, but my friend Laura was enchanted. She started looking through the clothes and pulling things out for me to try one.

"Well, I guess I could try on a pair of jeans...," I said. Over an hour and at least 20 garments later, I had a pile of really cute clothes that I wanted to buy. After adding up the prices, I decided I couldn't get them all, but I ended up with a short, lightweight jean skirt, a dress, a pair of very soft cargo pants, and a few tops. Interestingly, the pants and skirts all fit NOW, which is only half-surprising, since my regular jeans have started to feel pretty tight around the waist. I actually didn't buy a pair of jeans, since the ones that had were all made from very heavy denim, and it gets so hot here in the summer that I really want to find some lightweight ones. I only plan on having one pair. Laura has kindly offered to go with me tomorrow to Old Navy to see what they have. I figure if I don't do it over spring break, it won't get done till summer (unless I get the rumored 2nd-trimester-manic energy that I am wholly hoping to get VERY SOON).

It was great to have Laura there. If I hadn't gone with a friend, I probably would have bought the candies and walked out, possibly in tears. But she is an excellent shopper and found great stuff! It's funny, I hadn't expected to have a friend here in DC that would be able to help me with these kind of things. I have known Laura a while but she and were originally "school friends." I nervously told her about the pregnancy a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure how she would react since she herself is pretty far away from wanting to start a family, but I had to tell her something, since, as my friend, she had noticed that I was not myself, to put it mildly. (I think she was starting to think I had mono or cancer or something.) Anyway, I was afraid she would think that by having a baby I was making a huge mistake and ruining my chances at being a poet. I most likely was just projecting some of my own reservations, though, because she was super-excited and super-supportive. When I told her, she got all teary and hugged me across the table and was just generally very happy, even saying, all on her own, that this was a great time for Dean and I to have a baby. It was great, very reassuring.

So! Three cheers for Laura! To get back to the shopping story, I tried on a lot of the stuff with the fake baby bump/ strap-on pillow thing in the dressing room. It was alarming. I hope my real baby isn't so lumpy. After leaving Motherhood Maternity, we went to Pea in the Pod and stayed there exactly 23 seconds, which was long enough to see that all their cute T-shirts were $85 or more. The one pair of jeans I looked at was $118. Honestly, I don't pay that much for regular jeans that I can wear a long time! No Pea in the Pod for me.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun, which is remarkable, because I usually get a headache in the mall. I didn't feel sick all afternoon!

FYI, in case anyone's interested, while writing this post, I finished the first Preggie Pop Drop (lemon) and got another (apple). They ARE soothing.

The other picture above, the one that isn't clothes, is a collection of baby stuff we have so far. My friend Corrie sent the cow rattle (note the udders), my mom sent the socks (see how the sneaker socks have laces?), and the bottle was part of a free gift from the maternity clothes shopping. It freaks me out a little, honestly, but it added nicely to the picture.