2011 Garden

"Garden" is one of the words in the description of this blog, but I have posted almost nothing about our garden this year. It's not for lack of garden work being done, although most of the work has not been done by me. Dean started plotting and planning the garden back in the fall. Since then, he has dug up a yard full of grass and stones, designed and laid a stone pathway, built brick and wooden beds for plants, built trellises for peas and beans, started seeds of all kinds, ordered and planted flowers, given tender loving care to seedlings, arranged approximately 500 soaker hoses and made approximately 10,000 trips to Lowes and Ace Hardware.

This weekend, he planted the last of the seeds of the season, corn, beans and squash: "the garden is officially planted."

Our little Denver yards have been turned into an impressive city garden, if I do say so myself. In the backyard, we have peas, radishes, beets, strawberries, blueberries, asparagus, and lots of flowers. In the front, we have broccoli, corn, tomatoes, peppers, squash and corn, plus some flowers and cactuses (cacti?) on the porch.

Here is a little walking tour of our garden, with "before" pictures from April and "after" pictures from today.



Here are the baby peas in April:



and here is a picture of the newly-planted flowers and peas from today. It's safe to say that the peas have grown.



On the other side of the path from the flowers are the strawberries. Here they are in April (they have grown and overcome a strange outbreak of brown spots but still look pretty much the same):



Against the fence and beside the strawberries are blueberries and asparagus. No pictures of those today, as both still are very small.

Moving to the front yard, here are the baby broccolis, right after they were moved to pots:



and here are the front beds in April, just after they were built:



Now here is the front yard today:



You can see how much the broccolis have grown. In the front beds are peppers, tomatoes, tomatillos, and corn.

Here is a view of the other side of the yard from the sidewalk. As Dean said, our yard looks weird. The teepees are for beans to grow up, and the metal trellis is for cucumbers. Behind the beans and cucumbers will be squash.



Finally, here is something very cool:



my hanging cactus flowered!

Now, fingers crossed against wilts, droughts, bugs, and mysterious plant diseases of all kinds.

Twenty Months and a Day

Monday update:

Amelia slept from 7:30 last night till 6:30 this morning without a peep. I told my mom about it, and she replied, "That's toddler sleep." I'll take it! I am hoping this is a new trend.

It's hot in Denver and very humid. It is a southern heat. I could barely run at the park this morning, and we couldn't stay long at the playground either. I have had success getting Amelia to leave places pretty easily by first telling her that we are going to say "bye-bye to [whatever it is] in a few minutes," and then pretty quickly picking her up and getting her to say bye-bye. Consequently she can now say "few minutes" and says it a lot when she wants to do something. One of the most trying of these is sitting in the car. She loves to sit out of her carseat in the car, and she obviously can't do that while we are driving, so we spend a lot of time these days sitting in the parked car in the garage. She likes to press the buttons on the radio and pretend to turn the steering wheel (from my lap). I am sure to pull up the emergency break and I stay right with her, keys in my pocket, so this is not unsafe, right? It feels sort of like one of those "don't"s in a list of toddler rules, but it's not like I'm leaving her in there alone. Another funny thing she says is "back yard" and by this she means the very back of the car, behind the back seat. (We have a Rav-4. We traded in Dean's Camry back in the fall when he realized he needed 4-wheel drive to get to many of the trailheads he wanted to get to. Plus we ended up needing it to drive on snow. Denver doesn't really plow its roads.)

We got out garden planted this weekend and are just waiting for it to grow. Expect a garden post as soon as I get some current pictures taken.

And, finally, I got an email this morning saying that the journal that accepted one of my poems will be out soon! You can see my name on the table of contents here.

20 Pictures for 20 Months

Dream Away

I told Dean this morning that he will need to arrange child care for late August. I am going on this trip.

Faith and Annie!

I am very, very late in posting pictures from Debra, Faith and Annie's visit back in April.



As you can see, the girls wore matching pants.



They had a lot of fun going to the park, having lunch, and playing in the backyard while Debra and I caught up.



Annie is a fabulous baby, the kind that tries to trick you into thinking it wouldn't be that hard to have a second child.



And Faith is a wonderful big sister. Amelia loved playing with a big girl.



We are hoping to see our friends from "The Springs" again soon!

Nonticketed Lap Child: Tips for Traveling with Someone Under Two

Since Amelia and I just completed our one millionth airplane trip together, I thought I would share what I have learned about entertaining a toddler on a planes.

1. New, new, new
Probably the most important thing I've learned about traveling with Amelia is to bring a wide variety of things to play with, and to bring as many "new" things along as I can. These things don't have to be brand new--although I sometimes do buy one or two things to take along--just things she hasn't seen in awhile. About a week before we travel, I look over her toys for anything that might be plane-appropriate (see below) and stash it away in her closet. Then I can pack it, and when I reintroduce it on the plane, it's a little surprise! Another way to get "new" things without spending money is to borrow toys from friends. Ask fellow parents if they have any plane-appropriate toys you can take on your trip. Some of the best toys we've traveled with have been toys of Amelia's friends.

2. Dole It Out
Once you've chosen what to bring and packed your bag, be the bag-master. A and I usually travel alone, so we just have a single bag. If I let her see the bag she'd be done with it in 10 minutes, so as we travel, I bring out one toy or activity at a time. I try to think ahead about the best times to do so. For example, if the flight attendant is about to bring drinks, I wait until after that to offer a new activity, because we've learned that ice in a cup is a fine plane toy. (In fact, when Amelia sees the flight attendants, she starts saying "Rice! Rice!")

3. Plane-Appropriate
What are the best toys for the plane? A lot of it depends on the child's age, but here are a few things I've learned. Anything too big is out, for obvious reasons, as is anything too messy. Keep in mind that no matter what you do, a lot of what you bring is going to end up on the floor. Will it be fairly easy to retrieve? Balls and things that roll away too easily are probably best avoided. Also avoid toys that make extremely loud noises--see below re not being annoying. No one wants to sit near a baby and Talking Elmo. Books are good, if they're not too heavy or bulky, but if I bring books I try to make sure they are ones Amelia likes--otherwise they are a waste of space.

Before a trip, I always try to think about what most entertains Amelia at that stage in her life and figure out how to best replicate that on the plane. So when she was under 6 months, her main airplane "entertainment" was nursing, being walked up and down the aisle, and, during one memorable trip, being whisked from my arms by a well-meaning flight attendant. But by 9 or 10 months, I could just bring a bag of stuff she'd never seen before--measuring cups, ribbons, My Little Ponies, whatever, and that worked pretty well. For this last trip, we let her bring crayons for the first time, since she is finally not just eating them, and they entertained her for awhile. (But they do roll away pretty easily). As with anything child-related, what will work best for you is probably unique to your child.

4. Top Toys So Far
That said, we have had some luck with particular toys. As I mentioned above, books can be good. Amelia likes any kind of picture dictionary type book, peek-a-boo books, and touch and feel books. One of her favorites has been a foam puzzle book loaned to us by a friend. It is lighter and more manageable than a real puzzle, and it took up at least an hour (in various 15-minute increments) on the trip we took before this last one.

She also likes flash cards, and we can take a lot of time handing her 3 or 4 cards, one at a time, and then getting her to hand them back. Stickers have worked well for us for awhile. You can stick them on each other, all 10 fingers, your boarding pass, every dog you can find in the Sky Mall book, and if you are desperate, your tray table. Another friend of ours recommended painter's tape--same idea. And still another friend loaned us a doodle board sort of like this one--Amelia had a great time scribbling and making the picture "all gone."

As I mentioned above, art activities might work, if they are not too rolly or messy. I am looking forward to when a coloring book and crayons might actually entertain Amelia. This time, we brought crayons in a fold-up pouch like this one (photos at the bottoms on the page). I did not make ours; it was a gift from Aunt Susan at Christmas (thank you Susan!). Amelia had more fun taking the crayons in and out of the pockets than actually coloring, but whatever. We also took these markers that only write on special paper. We learned that they do in fact leave an odd, wet-looking mark on airplane tray tables, but that comes off easily with a baby wipe. (Another random tip: bring a lot of baby wipes.) Amelia again had a better time putting the lids of the markers on her fingers than coloring, but again, oh well.

I thought I would wrap up the toy section by giving an example of what I meant by trying to replicate on planes what entertains Amelia in general. I bought two new things for the trip home from NC: toys rings and a bag of small farm animals. Both of these I found at a random NC drugstore for under $5. Since Amelia had such putting marker lids on her fingers on the way to NC, I thought she would enjoy the rings. And at her Luli and Guru's house, Amelia had a great time playing with dollhouse furniture and a bucket of seashells. I thought the farm animals were kind of similar. Both of these toys worked very well on the plane--but they wouldn't have a couple of months ago, when they would have gone straight in the mouth.

5. Snacks, snacks, and more snacks.
In my opinion, one of the most important things you can bring on the plane is food, for yourself and your child. Bring stuff you know you both like. Don't be too concerned about being healthy. Amelia's current favorites are salty snacks, so I brought Ziplocks of pretzels, crackers, Veggie Straws, etc. As with toys, it helps to have a lot of different options you can dole out as needed. My own favorites are Luna bars and the Veggie Straws. To simplify things during security, I usually don't bring babyfood (although Amelia is currently obsessed with those squeezey applesauce things, so this time it might have been worth it). I do bring an empty sippy cup I can fill along the way, after security.


6. On Sleep
My experience is that sleep during air travel is pretty hit or miss. Amelia used to nurse herself to sleep, and on this trip her biggest fit was on the way there, crying for "mik." (That was actually the last time she cried for milk, too.) On the way back, she let me rock her to sleep, to the extent that you can rock someone to sleep in an airplane seat, and sing to her. But she never sleeps long. Invariably a flight attendant will park the drink cart right next to us, or the pilot will make an announcement, or I will have to move my arm or leg, and she will wake up. So I try to save sleep for when I know she is really tired and we will be sitting still for awhile. And hope for the best.

7. On Not Being (Too) Annoying
When I first started traveling with Amelia, what I hated most was worrying about annoying other people. Now I am not nearly as concerned about them, but there are a few things I try to keep in mind. I try not to bring anything too loud along, as I mentioned above, and I try not to let her engage in truly intrusive behavior, like repeatedly kicking the back of the seat. If the behavior is borderline--Amelia loves to stand up and play peek-a-boo with the people in the sear behind us--I try to feel out the fellow travelers. Sometimes you get lucky and sit near a grandparent. (Actually that is my number one tip--try to sit near a grandparent.) But, annoyance-wise, there are some things you can't do anything about. If Amelia has a fit, I just try to stay calm. And if someone is being annoyed for no real reason, like the man who turned around and glared at us when Amelia was singing to herself, I just glare back at them.

8. Emergency Stash
Take something you know will distract your child if all else fails and save it for an emergency. We brought out a bag of M&M's 15 minutes before landing in NC, when Amelia was exhausted and just wanted to be free, and it saved the day.

9. Take Care of Yourself
For me, this means drink water. Bring chapstick and lotion. Take a bathroom break. Eat something.

10. On Having Fun
As long-time readers of this blog may know, I am not a natural traveler. But I try to remember that traveling can be fun. Especially when Dean and I travel together, we try to make it a nice day, taking turns reading and entertaining Amelia. Even when I am by myself, I often buy a People magazine or something I wouldn't normally buy to read while Amelia sleeps. And if there a layover that is long enough, I have a mojito, a drink I am pretty sure I have only ever tried in airports.

I hope these tips are helpful. If anyone has something to add, please leave a comment! And happy travels!

Rejection

Through an odd series of connections, I recently came across the poet Sarah Vap. I have just begun to read her poems but I like them very much, and I also like her essays.

I was reading this interview with Sarah Vap from The Southeast Review and I was struck by one of the questions:

Q: What is your relationship with rejection like?

And her answer:

A: Warm. Tender. Long.

I thought this was such a strange question until I remembered that a writer was asking the questions and another writer was answering--they were speaking about writing being rejected. These questions and answers came to mind yesterday when we returned from our trip to NC to a large stack of mail. One of the envelopes was a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

When you send off your poems to journals, you include a self-addressed stamped envelope. This allows the journal to reply to you efficiently and at no cost to them. Until I actually had a poem accepted somewhere, I figured if your poem was taken, they would write to you with a real envelope. But no, they still just use the one you sent. So when you see an SASE in the mail, if you're me, you know you've gotten an answer about your poems.

I sent off a bunch of poems in October. That's October 2010, eight months ago. Until yesterday, I hadn't heard from two journals from that round of submissions. Well, that's not quite true--I had heard from both that I had reached a second round of selections. So I had hopes that my poems might be taken. Then I came home to this SASE.

As I opened the envelope, I could tell the letter inside was long. So my hopes rose higher. But then my eyes fell on the letter's second sentence:

"Although we are unable to use your work..."

It's a very nice rejection letter. It explains the journal's (it was Calyx, if anyone's interested) editorial process, mentioning that the journal is only able to publish 2-3% of the 1000+ submissions it receives each year. And one of the editors took time to write a personal note at the bottom. She said they really liked my poems, one in particular. "Keep working on the ending," she wrote. "It didn't quite work for us."

It was funny reading that. I really appreciate that this editor took the time to write a personal note. It struck me as a bit workshoppish to say that that the ending "didn't work" for them, but I am glad for an honest response. The irony is that the ending of the poem she was talking about never quite worked for me either. I changed it during the manuscript class I took. It's different now.

Oh well. It was a bummer and I was/am disappointed. But I remembered Sarah Vap's answer about her relationship to rejection: warm, tender, long. As a writer, I certainly expect to have a long relationship with rejection, but it's interesting to think of having a warm and tender one. I was thinking this morning about what she meant by that answer. To me, it must mean to love the process of writing and sharing regardless of the response you receive, and to love your readers regardless of their responses. And maybe above all to love your writing and your writing self regardless of whether your work is "accepted" on any number of levels, literary or otherwise.

Good food for thought for any artist. And as someone who just sent off a manuscript to some very slim-chance contests, I should keep all of this in mind.