Balance

The phone rang today, and I pulled myself out of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to see who was calling. It was a friend I have not talked to in too long, so I actually CLOSED the book and answered. As I chatted, I looked around and realized I was in Harry Potter Squalor.

Harry Potter Squalor, for those who don't know, is when your house is dark, dusty, messy, and cluttered because you have done nothing but read Harry Potter books for 4 days, and your life and your mind are in the same shape as your house. This is first time I have experienced Harry Potter Squalor, but I've been through plenty of other kinds of Squalor: Too Busy Teaching Squalor, or Fall Depression Squalor...

So, while I talked on the phone I made pancakes and started some laundry, and then I vacuumed and made myself work on my journal-organizing project I started before I got the bright idea to try to read all the Harry Potter books before the new one came out. It's not going to happen, folks-- the new one's out Saturday, and I am going camping this weekend, and I still have 1/4 of the 4th book to finish. I could cheat and see the movie for 5, but I'd still be behind.

So please, no one tell me how book 7 ends.

The interesting thing is that before I started with the Harry Potter books, I was throwing myself into a spiritual journey in which I was going to become enlightened ASAP, by reading lots of books, going to yoga and praying with my rose beads every day, and beginning to meditate twice a week. But I woke up on the first day I was going to the meditation place, and I thought, I am not ready to do this. I don't want to sit still for 30 minutes in the yoga studio and be trapped with my thoughts.

It was kind of like noticing the Harry Potter Squalor today: Although the two things are obviously different issues, they are both about balance.

I can't SUDDENLY become the peaced-out, fearless hippy I wish to be in one week. Apparently, I can't read all the Harry Potter books in a week either. But that's okay, because I can work on a lot of things at once. I can get up tomorrow, and do yoga, and write, and then read for an hour, and be a normal person. I can try to have balance.

There is no direct connection, but all of this reminds me of my yoga class today (yes, I pulled myself out of HP-land to go), and more specifically my yoga teacher, who is a wonderful goddess of laughter and wonderfulness. She was talking today about the right we have to feel, to experience emotion and desire and love and happiness. But fear can stamp all that out. I think the connection between that and balance is that sometimes drowning yourself in something (Harry Potter, other types of drugs, work, another person, etc, etc) is another way fear can manifest itself, as odd as that sounds. If you are lost in something or someone, you are not really there in the present, and if you are not in the present, then you are not really alive to feel, are you?

Hmm.

So I am allotting myself 4 HP hours a day; 2 if I actually get to work next week.

(Please, no one tell my how the last one ends...)

How do you keep balance in your life?

(P.S. Look! My first successful picture! Thanks, JW!)