Not much to report, really, just more of the same nausea, except maybe even worse yesterday and today. My grandmother died last Thursday, so Dean and I drove down to NC on Saturday and came back yesterday. Last night I thought maybe the getting worse had to do with the long drive (8 hours) and the general stress of the funeral.
My grandmother had Alzheimer's and had been sick for a long time, so the family was somewhat expecting her death. Everyone is relieved that she is not suffering anymore, but still very sad. Yesterday afternoon after coming home and throwing up the tiny amount of food in my stomach and being hungry, I cried because the only food I could think of what wasn't totally disgusting was food my grandmother made. If I could just go sit at her table and eat what she put in front of me, I think I'd feel better. Of course that was impossible even before she died because she hasn't been able to walk much, or move around a kitchen and make a huge meal.
Still, I have such vivid memories of those meals, the table packed with food. Chicken and dumplings, biscuits, gravy, potatoes, beans, tomatoes and cucumbers peeled and salted... She also made fabulous spaghetti and meatballs. And delicious French toast, so crispy around the edges. It's remarkable that it does not disgust me in the least to think of any of these foods, even though the mere thought of literally every single other food makes me gag.
I'm sad she's gone.
1 comment:
Our thoughts are with you. Remember her often, and be well.
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