Cat, Mouse, Milk

I am writing this blog entry at my upstairs desk, at which I haven't sat for months and months. This special occasion is due to the fact that Suki finally caught the mouse that has been lurking under our sink. I opened the cabinet doors when I noticed her crouching there, and a few minutes later, I heard a crash, and looked up to see Suki run by with the mouse in her mouth. But she can't just kill it. No. She is carrying it all around, dropping it, letting it run away a little bit, and re-catching it. It's injured, so it can't get far. It's a horrifying scene. Plus now I feel the downstairs is going to have to be mopped with Clorox.

Suki's catching of the mouse interrupted Amelia's nap in her Pack and Play, which provided free and quiet time I was using to actually write poems. !!! This is big news. I haven't sat down to write since a couple of weeks before Amelia was born. It was great. I revisited some stuff I was working on through the spring and summer to find that some of it has potential! And I started something brand new, which is very energizing.

In the meantime I thought I would write here since it's been awhile since I've said anything of substance on the blog. Two words: time and tired. Not only is it hard to find the time to sit down and write, when I do have a few minutes during naptime or when Dean is home and caring for Amelia, I feel so brain dead I can't put together a coherent sentence.

So, here's going on with us. Amelia is much less fussy during the day than she was for a week or so. We are waiting excitedly for her to really, truly smile at us. Dean's thinks she smiled for real yesterday morning but it's hard to know for sure. I am trying to play with her during the day, but she seems to be sleeping more for the last couple of days. She is still sleeping pretty well at night, going for 3 or 4 or stretches most of the time. Tuesday night, she slept for about 6 hours, but that stretch was tragically wasted due to me waking up once with a horrible stomach ache and then later with a milk overflow situation. I don't feel I am using the word "tragically" hyperbolically, either.

Anyway, speaking of breastmilk, I have been trying to pump some milk since I am going back to teach on Tuesday, believe it or not, and I will leave milk so Dean can feed Amelia while I am gone. It's a bit difficult to know when and how much to pump. Last might I did it right before Amelia woke up hungry after a nap. I fed her a little, but we had to wait for Dean to come home to give her the bottle I just pumped. (I read I am not supposed to give her a bottle since she already associates me with an alternate method of obtaining her food.) Amelia seems to take the bottle fine, so I am not worried about her eating while I am gone, but I am a little worried about myself, not being able to feed her or to pump for almost 5 hours while I travel to school, teach and come home. There are only 15 minutes between my classes, which is probably enough time to pump, but there is no where to go to do it. My office is in another building, plus I share it with three other people. I guess I can lock myself in a bathroom stall during the break, but that is going to be noticeable to the many other women who use the bathroom at that time. Maybe there is a quieter, less-used restroom on the upper floor of the building. We'll see.

I've also had a couple of adventures in breastfeeding in public. Once was right before Dean went back to work. We took some sandwiches to the park to eat. There were some young boys, maybe 7-9 years old, playing there, running all around with plastic guns. After Dean and I finished eating, Amelia was hungry, so I fed her. Everything was covered by both a scarf and my windbreaker, but I suddenly noticed the boys had become very interested in the park bench next to ours. I looked directly over at them to show them I was on to their spy tactics. It was strange to have an audience.

The second time I tried to feed Amelia in public was in my doctor's office's very crowded waiting area. I was holding the scarf all wrong and got flustered by the silence in the room, a silence that was being broken only by Amelia's cries and grunts as she tried to latch on. I am pretty sure my breasts were on display for everyone there. Finally Marla, Dr. Footer's wife/receptionist/nurse, said I could go back to this big soft chair in one of the exam rooms "where I might be more comfortable." So I did.

It's funny; breastfeeding is totally natural and I had imagined myself being cool and composed when Amelia needed to eat while we were out, but I got pretty flustered on both of these occasions. The third time I fed her in public, though, I did a better job. This was last weekend at Dean's office mate's wedding. It helped to have another mother breastfeeding at the next table. Also, I got the hang of the scarf.

Parenthetically, Amelia's first wedding happened to be a same-sex wedding. DC will recognize gay marriages from other states, so Dean's office mate and her partner went to Connecticut to be officially married, then had their ceremony here a few days later. It was very beautiful. Everyone was so happy for the couple, and their families gave extremely touching toasts that showed how supportive they were.

And, it was really fun for Dean and I to be out in public. We enjoyed talking to Dean's co-workers and the other guests and showing off the baby. Dean's office mate had knitted Amelia a little bear outfit, which she was wearing, so Amelia was a great conversation piece. And of course everyone thought she was beautiful.

In the meantime, I just took a break to change and feed the awake Amelia. We tried to go downstairs, but found that the mouse is still alive. I am typing with one hand while A finishes lunch. When she finishes, we might have to brave the wind and rain to escape the carnage.