Sunday, May 31, 2009

Good-Bye May

It's crazy to think it's the last day of May. May has been a blur for me. It seems like it just started.

The last week has been somewhat eventful. First, I got an exciting package in the mail from my mom and sister, including some new maternity jeans (WHY do they fall down when they have such a nice belly to cling to???) and THESE beautiful shirts from Heather, tie-dye artist extraordinaire.




Also, I started my new job in the English Department. The department is moving to a new building in another week, so mostly, I've been packing boxes. I also did a significant amount of shredding paper. After the move, I'll be unpacking and organizing, and then, I suppose, other office work when everything is settled.

I also sat back down at the computer again last week, to write poems. It's a difficult stage, restarting. I don't have much at all that I was already working on. In a way beginnings are fun, but they are also overwhelming and slightly scary. I always wonder if I will actually be able to write another poem. All the previous poems almost seem like flukes. I've learned in the past, though, that if I just sit down and keep writing, something will come along.

The baby and I had another checkup last week too. Her heartbeat was super easy to find and the doctor said she was a "happy little baby." She is certainly a wiggle worm. I can feel her a lot now. Last night I had an alarming episode in which I woke up and realized I had turned from my side to halfway onto my stomach. I moved and she immediately began to jump and shimmy. Was I squashing her? Anyway, she seems okay now.

I was instructed at my appointment to eat more. The baby is growing right on schedule but they would like me to gain a bit more weight. It's kind of crazy because I feel like I eat all the time, but interestingly, since the appointment, I have felt even hungrier than I already did.

Pregnancy hunger, at least mine, is not the fun I thought it would be. It seemed like it'd be very delightful to be hungry and eating for two. And I read about how delightful it is for other women. (Of course, that was in the same books that say the second trimester is the trimester of boundless energy. Must be nice.) THIS pregnancy hunger is vicious. It appears out of nowhere as a gnawing, hollow pain, impossible to ignore, and accompanied by nausea and a vague faintness. It demands immediate satisfaction. For we mamas that are still kind of queasy a lot of the time, it's not always easy to solve. Lots of random things to eat seem gross to me, and at random times. One day I crave hamburgers, the next hamburgers are the most disgusting things I've ever heard of eating. And when I do crave something, it's not like a mild desire, as in, "Oh, I'd like some turtle cheesecake, maybe tonight for dessert;" it's an immediate and vital need, like the need for oxygen. Whatever I crave MUST BE FOUND and it must be found as soon as possible, as in "I've been to all five bakeries in Capitol Hill looking for turtle cheesecake, and am seriously considering taking the Metro to Dupont Circle to continue searching for it, even though I've neither showered nor accomplished a single thing I need to do today." (True story. I didn't go to Dupont Circle looking, though, I just went home and ate half of Dean's birthday carrot cake instead. It was a poor yet delicious substitute.)

Here's a day in the life of my hunger. If I eat right away in the morning, I am okay, although always a little queasy for the first hour or so after waking up. My breakfast of choice this last week is a bagel with cream cheese and a cup of tea. 45 minutes after waking up, I am hungry again. I usually eat a smoothie and yogurt. Then it's just a matter of maintaining. I usually eat a third breakfast by the time I leave the house, or pick up something on the way to the Metro (think McDonald's sausage biscuits with grape jelly. I ate so many of those around weeks 15-18 that I am kind of shocked I didn't gain more weight from them alone.) After the Metro ride, I'm hungry again, and luckily I can pack boxes and eat at the same time.

It's kind of tiring to be always thinking about eating or eating. It's hard to find that much stuff I WANT to eat, and I've been spending a lot of money getting food while I am out. (I did find the Union Station deal of the century the other day: a chicken salad sandwich on homemade bread AND two scoops of exquisite gelato for $6.)

The hunger seems to be worst in the afternoon. It just seems unquenchable. For example, I had the normal morning, we ate a decent lunch at 1:30, and then I was okay till about 3. I came in from the garden and ate half a sandwich (tofukey and provolone) and some chips and then some Dove dark chocolate. Then I took a shower. Not a long shower. By the time I was dry, I was hungry again. I made a duplicate of the above snack. Now it's about 30 minutes later. I am hungry again. I know those aren't HUGE snacks, but I've been eating all day.

And it's been like this for several afternoons. I am going to call the doctor tomorrow and make sure this is normal. I guess the baby just likes to eat in the afternoon. Just like getting up to eat and pee a zillion times a night, perhaps this is all practice for the real thing, when I'll be feeding a baby even more times a day than I myself am eating now. In the meantime, I'm going downstairs to get something else to eat.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

As long as the baby is growing, don't worry too much about gaining weight. Some women gain early, some late -- it just depends. Granted, I was carrying lots of extra weight when I got pregnant, but I only ended up about +7 and had a normal-sized, healthy baby, as did plenty of other women I know who didn't gain early or didn't gain much.